Blog Posts by Daniel Wong

A good friend of mine (I’ll call him Peter) once confided in me that he was having serious communication issues with his girlfriend (I’ll call her Anne).

Every day, Anne would complain to Peter about her life problems. And, boy, did Anne seem to have an endless list of problems.

Just because people have problems doesn’t automatically mean they want solutions

As a natural response, Peter began suggesting possible solutions—his list of solutions was as endless as Anne’s list of problems.

But to Peter’s shock, Anne didn't appreciate his advice. In fact, she told Peter that she felt like he wasn’t listening to her.

This was causing strain in their relationship.

After Peter had explained the situation to me, he asked for my input.

I recommended that he stop giving Anne solutions. The next time Anne shared her struggles with him, I encouraged him to listen actively and to simply—and sincerely—say, “I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I'm here for you.”

We want to feel understood before we’ll

Do you dream of retiring?

Do you fantasise about the day when you don’t need to work any more?

On the Labour Day that just passed, I saw Facebook status updates that said something like this: “The best thing about Labour Day is that I don’t need to labour” or “My bed laboured very hard today because I spent so much time sleeping”.

I'm guessing your friends expressed similar sentiments?

The many, many, many hours we spend at work

We’re at work for eight or more hours a day, for at least five days a week, for up to 40 years.

In fact, you’ll probably spend more than 90,000 hours at work over the course of your lifetime. If that sounds like a lot of hours to you, it’s because it is!

Is work just about the money?

Besides the work I do with students, young adults and parents, I also work as a project engineer. As such, I spend more time working than the average person.

Please don’t get me wrong; work should never become an obsession. But since our work occupies such a large proportion of our waking

This is the worst I’ve been laughed at in recent memory.

Last year, I was having lunch with four friends a couple of days after news had broken that a prominent man in his 40s had decided to step down from his position for “personal reasons”.

At lunch, my four friends discussed possible reasons for his departure.

“There must have been some kind of corruption going on!” said one of them.

“He must have been having an affair,” said another.

“Maybe he stole money,” suggested yet another.

I’m an optimistic guy, so I was troubled by all of this cynical talk. Surely there must be another explanation, I thought.

Do all dreams die by the time you’re 40 years old?

Innocently, I asked: “What if he quit so he could pursue his dreams?”

After all, as a successful man in his 40s, he was probably doing well financially. Maybe he’d decided that it was finally time to do what he was most passionate about.

That’s when the ridicule began.

My friends’ response was both simultaneous and unanimous: “Come on, Daniel.

Tips on what not to do if you want to be CEO. (Getty Images)

As some of you might know, in addition to the work I do with students, young adults and parents, I also work a day job as a project engineer.

I’ve come to realize that there are many factors involved in getting to the top of the corporate ladder.

It’s a long, complex journey!

I know many people who want to become the CEO one day, but I’ve seen the things they sometimes do that will likely prevent them from reaching that goal.

I’m writing this article from the perspective of someone who’s a keen observer of what successful people do and don’t do.

Is your ladder leaning against the right wall?

I firmly believe that getting to the top of the corporate ladder won’t make you fulfilled, if that ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.

In order to ensure that your ladder is leaning against the correct wall, you’ll need to determine your purpose and motivation for climbing the ladder in the first place.

It’s crucial to ask yourself “Deep down, why do I want to get to the top?” before you ask

Commuters commute at lunch hour at Raffles Place on February 14, 2013 in Singapore. (Photo by Suhaimi Abdullah/Getty Images)

Some Yahoo! readers have made comments about which political party they think I identify with.

Other readers have even suggested that a certain political party pays me to write articles for Yahoo!

None of this is true.

I write from the bottom of my heart as a Singaporean who has completed my National Service, who pays taxes, and who’s deeply concerned about the future of this country.

What this article isn’t about

This article is no different. I want to talk about our obsession with comfort.

Please don’t get me wrong; I know there are Singaporeans who struggle to put food on the table, despite working multiple jobs. We need to help these people.

And, yes, we need to address issues like the rising cost of living and stiff competition in the job market.

But these are topics to be discussed in another article.

Why I might be condemning myself by writing this article

This article is written to people who would like to have more money (who wouldn’t, right?), but who aren’t exactly worried

Through my work, I get to spend a lot of time with students.

As you’d expect, the education system has a huge impact on students’ development. I’m intrigued at how the system shapes them, both positively and negatively.

I’ve observed that there’s a deep disconnect between what students learn in school and what actually goes on in the “real world”.

Reflecting on my own journey through the education system (I spent 12 years in the Singapore system and four years in the US one), I realize there are many things you’ll need to unlearn from your schooling experience if you want to both survive and thrive later on.

How to prepare for long-term success

Yes, we need education reform. More than that, we need an education revolution. But while we push to make this revolution happen, it isn’t the focus of this article.

This article is about generating awareness and inspiring action—at an individual level—about what we need to unlearn from school.

This will prepare us for long-lasting success in

Give praise when due. (Getty Images)

In February, I wrote about the new 5 Cs that will actually make us happy Singaporeans:

• Compare less
• Cherish what you have
• Choose your attitude
• Complain less
• Change your circumstances and yourself

I'm pleasantly surprised to see that the article has received more than 400 comments and has been shared 8,200 times on Facebook!

Clearly, the “5 Cs” is something that’s close to Singaporeans’ hearts.

The 6^th C that I missed out: Compliment others

Soon after the article was published, I had a conversation with my cousin.

He said, “Daniel, you missed out one ‘C’. We should compliment others more. That’s something we don’t do enough of in Singapore.”

I spent the next few days reflecting on what my cousin had said.

My cousin was right: It’s not part of Singaporean culture to compliment others.

(In this article, I’m referring to genuine compliments, not false praise that you might give your boss or teacher if you’re trying to get into his or her good books.)

When was the last time you heard

Through my work, I get to interact with lots of youths and young adults. It’s fun but challenging work!

As you might expect, youths face stress in many different areas: academics, co-curricular activities, career planning, dating, etc.

But their most common source of frustration is their relationship with their parents.

Parents have excellent intentions, but they don’t always express their love in the best possible way.

Youths often perceive their parents as being naggy, impatient, irritating or overbearing. If you’re a parent, I’m sure you don’t want your children to think about you that way!

On the contrary, I’m certain that you want to be a caring, encouraging, loving and competent parent.

I’ve come up with a list of eight simple phrases you can use, which will help you to become that kind of parent:

1. “I believe in you”

As children grow up, they look to others for approval and validation. When you show your children that you genuinely believe in them, they’re more likely to