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    Couple kicked out of flat by son find new home

    A Singaporean couple who were kicked out of the home of their eldest son after an argument moved into a three-room rental flat in Taman Jurong on Wednesday.

    Foo Thin Tak, 62, his wife Tham Swee Kheng, 55 and their 27-year-old youngest son moved into their new home after spending two nights at McDonald’s outlets in the Woodlands area.

    Earlier on Monday, a heated family argument had prompted the couple’s eldest son, a 33-year-old army regular who wanted to be known as Foo, to kick his parents and younger brother out his five-room flat in Woodlands Drive. Foo is married with two daughters.

    He had claimed that his father had threatened to kill him with a knife during an argument, in which police were later called in, reported The New Paper. But this and other allegations made by Foo were refuted by his parents who labeled him as hot-tempered.

    Desperate to find a temporary shelter, the couple went to HDB Hub in Toa Payoh on Wednesday morning and managed to select a rental HDB flat managed by a private operator.

    Together with their youngest son, who is employed as a security guard, they will be sharing the place with another family, with rent costing around S$245 a month.

    However, the couple were initially selective in choosing the flat for various reasons. For instance, they initially refused a flat on the 16th floor, claiming that they had to walk up the stairs as the lift did not stop on the floor. And when shown a flat on the 13th floor, they also rejected it saying the west-facing room in the house was too hot.

    Eventually, they chose the former flat after the private operator declined to show them other flats as the policy states that residents will be allocated the rooms instead of being allowed to choose.

    This was not the first time Foo had thrown his parents and brother out his house. They first moved into his flat in 2007 but stayed only for six months after constantly getting into arguments over the state of his brother who was unemployed then.

    The couple had no home of their own as they had sold their 4-room Teck Whye flat a few years ago after failing to pay the monthly instalments. In 2010, Foo reconciled with his family and offered them to stay in his flat. However, constant arguments over money led them to the current situation.

    Now clearly estranged with their eldest son, Tham said she will be picking up the rest of the family’s belongings from his house later this week, adding that she also does not want to maintain any ties with him.
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    325 comments

    • davewon1  •  6 months ago
      Guys, i dun think you have a family issue like mine. My mother is wheelchair and stroke, while my father is getting very old and over 70 years old, while my sister is not working for 4 years and need long term medication . Me and my brother are not well off and we working very hard to improve our life. Although many times there are arguments, but we never thought of sending my parents off and my sister to hospital cos they are my family member and if there any problem, we stick together and resolve it. Mr Foo, you also have children and you are from army, i personally think that you should set good example for your children....
      • Yeok Lin 6 months ago
        I am lucky that my parents are still well now. But I have a younger sis who is a gambler. She has choked up more than $10K debt, money borrowed from illegal money lender. She lied to us initially that she needed the $17K for medical purpose, to see private doc. We try to convince her to see a doc in structured hospital but she refused to let us accompany her. She indeed has a cancerous growth, but we refused to give her the cash cause we want her to see a 'gov doc'. Afterall we are not rich and don't believe that it would cause $17K to remove the growth. We were also afraid that she will use the money to gamble instead of seeing a doctor. She is in late 30's and I feel she is irresponsible as she has a 10 year old girl to take care of. She is a divorcee. She is driving my parents crazy and the whole family is worried for her. she refused to talk to us, only answer SMS. Tell me what to do with her GOD.
      • Tan 6 months ago
        get her to a structured hospital 1st to get her treatment. Cancer treatment cannot be delay. SMS her that the loan, as a family will help her to settle later. !st priority is her treatment.
      • frank 6 months ago
        yeok lin......hire a killer
    • Rina_R  •  6 months ago
      It's so common in Spore nowadays. If ur children ever asked u to sell ur flat so that they can buy bigger house or to "take care" of u or if it is easier for u to see ur grandchildren... DON'T BUY IT! Keep ur house no matter what happens. If u do not ve money to pay utility bills, rent the extra rooms but NEVER sell ur house to stay with ur children. Have heard too many cases where they promise to take care of their parents and those extra money is for them to do renovation or even deposit for a brand new car. Few mths later... quarrel and the parents are asked to leave... and once ever heard that the son said if u don't leave, my wife will leave me, ask for divorce and would take the kids away. So as a parent how do u react... of course u ve to sacrifice. A mother can take care of 12 children but one child cannot take care of one mother. Sad isn't it?!
      • Joanna 6 months ago
        Like the scenario you stated, my aunt is a widow, sold her flat to fund her son current flat & his business! Now old and sick, she is left penniless! The son business failed and owe lot of monies! His wife is the sole bread winner & couldn't meet month ends! My aunt would REGRET selling her flat whenever she is short of monies! If my aunt has listened to my mother, she would still has her flat and make rental monies to support herself and pay medical bills!
      • Singapore 6 months ago
        as for my case, i was still single, been force to buy over my father house due to my father wants all the CPF back into his account so that he can take out at the age of 55 ( now is he around 62) and worry he dun have money for retirement , and he ask for Cost over value from me around 21K. Now he already taken the money and also my mother 's part around. He took aound 92K enjory himself with his sister in toa payoh and Totally abanon us include his wife. All the expensen i have to pay .
      • Ah Beng 6 months ago
        sad sad sad
    • Feline  •  6 months ago
      Being parents does not mean that we have to put up with their unreasonable ways. Being parents does not give them such perogative to expect their children to be slaves to their whims and fancy. This is called Abuse of Authority.

      While I agreed totally that it is very wrong for the elder son to kick his parents out, it is obvious that he is under tremendous stress of having a loser of a brother who has no job and his parents evidently spoils this loser and expects the elder brother to take care of him instead. Let's not forget this elder son still has a wife and 2 children to take care of.

      Frankly, I can hardly blame this elder son for losing his temper and patience with them. Although there is no excuse for his bad temper, it is obvious he inherited this temper from his father, who actually threatened him with a knife! So his father is equally are at fault as he is!

      Whatever it is, I think it is better that the parents are on their own, and the elder son is left to live his own life with his family. Some parents-children are simply not meant to live together under the same roof. They have better relationships with each other when they are living apart.
      • True 6 months ago
        WELL SAID!! Finally, someone with depth and deepened understanding of the situation.
      • G 6 months ago
        my exact sentiments! The parents srsly don't sound like pple anyone would wanna live with. They were even picking and choosing flats when they were supposed to be grateful for help. Foo seems the most responsible family member from this report.
      • IMHO 6 months ago
        Think back to your childhood. When we were young, we make unreasonable demands on our parents as well e.g. insisted on buying something even if parents could not afford it; misbehaved at school and cause them lots of headache; getting poor results causing them heartache; throwing temper tantrums and going cold war with parents . We cannot change others' behaviour, but we can make sure we ourselves behave respectfully.
    • masa  •  6 months ago
      This is the result of a stressful enviroment where the emphasis is alway on money issues.
      • True 6 months ago
        Its not about $$
      • YahooUser 6 months ago
        ya its about the PAP :D
      • ihs 6 months ago
        @masa i am struggling to make ends meet too but value family first money is important but NOT everything ! Dont blame others ; life is about choice -YOUR OWN choice - take responsibility and BE A MAN (or a woman) and stay positive !
    • hss  •  6 months ago
      Quote :- {This was not the first time Foo had thrown his parents and brother out his house. They first moved into his flat in 2007 but stayed only for six months after constantly getting into arguments over the state of his brother who was unemployed then.}

      Quote :- {In 2010, Foo reconciled with his family and offered them to stay in his flat. However, constant arguments over money led them to the current situation.)

      From the above 2 Quotes. my views are that Foo (eldest son) are not a bad son after all to start of with. A family man with 2 kids and being an army regular, might already has been very tough on him financially. With 2 aged parents and an unemployed brother to support, money matters will always be his main concern and issue, no matter how good a son he is or want to be. What more, if Foo is a totally bad son, he won't have reconciled and alot them to stay together again in 2010 in the very first place..

      Not many people can withstand unreasonable, demanding parents and an unemployed brother on financial matters etc staying with them. To me, it seems that this parents cared alot for his 27 years old brother and have expected alot from Foo (being the eldest and more successful) instead.
      • anonymous 6 months ago
        it says the youngest son's employed as a security guard. but don't you think that it is quite unreasonable to kick out your elderly parents? I mean, they are his parents and have brought him up, paid for his education, gave him a roof over his head until he can start providing for himself. Maybe you're right in that he's got a lot on his plate but it doesn't excuse this lack of filial piety. In my opinion, he should try to control his temper a bit and both parties could try to come together to reach a compromise. calmly.
      • Laughingseal 6 months ago
        @Anonymous How do you know this?
      • Observer Tan 6 months ago
        Has, waaa.....in the one over year of surfing yahoo, you are the first person that is wise!
    • April  •  6 months ago
      It is not easy to stay together. My advice to the old people is that try not to sell your flat. If too burden, change to a smaller flat. Young people have their own lifestyle. Can only stay together if both young & the old are all easy going persons.
    • Bu Yi Bu  •  6 months ago
      Respect the elders. But, 家家有本难念经. Don't comment if do not know the details.
    • Kimi  •  6 months ago
      When parents and children quarrel, most of the time the society blame on the children. Some parents are also to be blamed though it does not justify them being "kicked out". I think we need to know the eldest son's side of the story.
    • Annie  •  6 months ago
      Question : why are HDB rental flats managed by a private operator?
    • SGGuard  •  6 months ago
      Why rental flats are managed by pte operator no wonder rental flats prices are also rising. From what I know a 4 rms flat is rented out by these pte operator for $1,900 p.m onward. I wonder what is the pte operator profits are like for each flat/room.
    • GET REAL.  •  6 months ago
      As parents, as we age we should be flexible especially when one do not have a home and rely on shelter provided by one's children. While children has a moral obligation to look after parents, parents should not be overly demanding. In this case it appears that the decision to boot the parents out was made out of mental pressure on his son who has his own family to look after.
      It appears the father in this case is very fussy by the way he was adamant about a rental flat despite the problem he faces.
    • Starsky  •  6 months ago
      a family cannot have 2 masters. parents - live an independant life. teach your children the same value.
    • Starsky  •  6 months ago
      my mom in law kicked me out when i was 5 months pregnant from their 5 room flat co-owned with my husband. reason being she suspected i brought bad luck to her family. i went to live with my sister and her husband ,while my husband continued to live with his mom until i delivered our first baby, when our baby 4 months old, my husband let his mom own the 5 room and we bought a 3 room and live on our own - HAPPY. so folks. learn to live on your own.
    • NYC  •  6 months ago
      "However, the couple were initially selective in choosing the flat for various reasons. For instance, they initially refused a flat on the 16th floor, claiming that they had to walk up the stairs as the lift did not stop on the floor. And when shown a flat on the 13th floor, they also rejected it saying the west-facing room in the house was too hot."

      Are they desperately needed help? Or because their case is in the media, they know that HDB is under pressure to help them, so, they are trying to ask for more?
    • noitulive  •  6 months ago
      5 million people, and everyone behaves differently. Don't just preach about how 'they should have' or 'I would have'... without considering that we are talking about different family behaviors.

      Just an easy example for those of you who are married... do you find living or co-existing with your in-laws easy or hard? Think hard about your answer, and then compare it with the experiences of others. Everybody's family have their own individual traits. We cannot expect less out of the folks in the story.

      And in regards to the story... it sounds like both parties maybe a little out of hand. The eldest brother for being too harsh and the parents that seem to be aloof. Anyhow... objectively, its non of our business.
    • Shooter  •  6 months ago
      Family Problem. We outsider should not talk much about it. I think not totally the eldest son fault. Not easy to lives with parent & brother when you are married & have 2 children. The eldest son also have his problem.
      I think is better for the eldest son to give monthly allowances to his parent & stay in 2 different place, the relationship might be better.
    • Syed  •  6 months ago
      People always blame the off spring when they take action against their parents, what about parents who are at fault? Its easier to say after all they brought you up but when a parent shows favourtism & never really care for the 1 who look after them whose fault is it?
    • CoolNerd  •  6 months ago
      erm... not siding anyone... but why did they reject the flats they were given? don't you think it kinda shows their character?
    • HikoTory  •  6 months ago
      i find it interesting that they were mentioned as desprate yet they were still choosey abt the flat...till the foot of the HDB flat rules came down. which would let us glimpse into their mentality.
    • A Yahoo! User  •  6 months ago
      Out of gratitude to our parents, regardles if they have been a good or bad parent we must always make sure that they are in a good situation. Afterall they were the ones who gave our lives. If things go badly because of indifference, as children we have the obligation to make sure they are well taken care of. A compromise can be done or if living together would really pose challenges, at least help try to make arrangements for your parents to have a place where they can stay. I couldn't imagine my parents spending the night in Mcdonalds!

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