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Forget Your Anniversary

Forget Your Anniversary

When you think of celebrations in your family, you usually think of birthdays and anniversaries, with a couple of significant holidays like religious holidays and New Year's Day thrown in for good measure. Those are all great opportunities to celebrate, so I'm not really recommending you to forget your wedding anniversary. Bad idea! Just don't let these occasions be your obvious reason to celebrate. Most families miss the almost daily opportunities to turn everyone's attention toward what is good and honorable. If you need to jump-start your own list of reasons to celebrate in your family, consider these:

Good Grades: Your kids work hard to turn in their assignments and memorize their time tables. When you see a smiley face or an A+ on one of their papers, throw an impromptu party, even if it's just a special mention at the dinner table.

No Cavities: If the semi-annual trip to the dentist offers proof that your kids really do brush their teeth regularly, make a big deal of it. You're rewarding good behavior and finding an excuse to have some fun.

Firsts: First day of school, first bike ride without training wheels, first fallen tooth, etc.

Big Accomplishments: Celebrate completions of marathons, triathlons, dance recitals, winning spelling bee competitions and so on in a big way.

Little Accomplishments: Dad fixed the showerhead. Mom found her glasses. The kids finished a jigsaw puzzle. The dog learned a new trick.

The Other Anniversaries: Keep your family history alive by celebrating the day you moved into your present home, the day you proposed to your wife, the anniversary date for your job, the day you quit smoking, the day your parents or grandparents got married.

I'm not suggesting you make everyday a big celebration. That diminishes the overall effect and you might end up with a series of obligations that clutter your lives. But if you don't find a way (at least once a month) to celebrate and reward yourselves with something fun that is tied to the good things about your family; you're depriving yourself and your family of the joy that comes with relationships.

One last note: This won't be easy for you. At work, I may be the one who suggests we need to do something special with a customer, but I get a lot of help in the execution. If my staff left it up to me to plan these events, our celebrations would be pretty dull.

This is something you need to work on with your spouse. Commit yourselves to enhance the climate in your home. Make the effort to celebrate the good that happens regularly and make the ordinary extraordinary.

Strong marriages and families don't just happen. They require diligence, dedication, and a fair amount of hard work. In my business, if I expected everyone to keep their noses to the grindstone and never recognized their efforts, it would be an undesirable place to work. Our homes can similarly become overrun with tension and strife if we don't balance the hard work with some fun. The best way to do that is to celebrate your successes, and if you made it through the day and are sitting at the dinner table together, that's reason enough right there!

Focus on the Family Singapore is a local charity dedicated to helping families thrive through differentiated programs, trusted resources and family counseling. For more information, visit www.family.org.sg or sign up to our monthly e-newsletter.

This article is adapted from Treat Me Like A Customer: Using Lessons from Work to Succeed in Life by Louis Upkins Jr. Copyright © 2013 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.