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Poor sleep can lead to feeling unappreciated in your relationship

A new study on how sleep affects relationships finds that when one partner comes up short on sleep, the other may feel unappreciated.

Researchers from University of California, Berkeley, say that sleep deprivation can leave couples "too tired to say thanks" and can make one or the other partner feel taken for granted.

"Poor sleep may make us more selfish as we prioritize our own needs over our partner's," says Amie Gordon, a UC Berkeley psychologist and lead investigator of the study. She presented the findings Saturday, January 19, at the annual meeting of the Society for Personality and Social Psychologists in New Orleans.

"You may have slept like a baby, but if your partner didn't, you'll probably both end up grouchy," Gordon adds. She also noted that for many couples, nighttime can turn into a battleground due to snoring, sheet-tugging or one partner reading while the other tosses and turns.

To reach her findings, Gordon recruited more than 60 couples, ranging in age from 18 to 56. Subjects kept a diary of their sleep patterns and feelings toward their partner. In one experiment, couples were videotaped while performing a problem-solving task. Those who slept badly the night before showed less appreciation for their partner.

A solution to keep the peace? "Make sure to say to say 'thanks' when your partner does something nice," suggests Gordon. "Let them know you appreciate them."