17 People Who Wrote Most Hilariously, Beautifully Depraved Sentences I've Read This Month

1. NGL, this would be hella confusing:

Twitter: @TheAndrewNadeau

2.*Stands up and aggressively applauds*

someone asks, none of y'all know what propaganda actually is do you, and a person responds, it's when a british person takes a good look at something
tchaikovskaya / Via

3. I can confidently say that I've never seen this content warning on any other movie:

Twitter: @BlakeWexler

4. This is definitely a brand new sentence, but it's also cute as heck:

Twitter: @PrettiestFrog

5. Apologies to all my friends and relatives, but I will now be saying, "Brother I would not pay an acorn a decade," alllllll the time from now on:

Chesnot / Getty Images Twitter: @vinn_ayy

6.Poetry for the childfree:

imagine thinking you have a monopoly on suffering because you were rawdogging
u/wassay__ / Via

7. Yadda yadda 2023 bingo card:

Twitter: @lavenderobbers / / Angelina Pilarionos / Shutterstock


if god isn't real then why does the palm of a man fit so perfectly around the throat of a goose
u/diahau / Via

9.A sage and wise point:

if you don't find farts funny, you are choosing to live in a world with less joy and the same amount of farts
u/Morelia_spilota1 / Via

10.I....... what?

headline says, 3000 crocodiles have sex after mistakes helicopter sounds for mating calls

11.To be fair, anyone who has ever worked as a receptionist for more than a week would have dark energy:

one star review: i have been a professional medium for 15 years but when i walked into the studio i was assaulted by the dark energy radiating from monica at the front desk
u/ZEAC2001 / Via

12.Hmm. Evocative:

bdsm is impossible to take seriously, it's literally looney tunes sex, tom and jerry ass
@dogfightin / Via Twitter: @dogfightin2

13.Feed them!

i miss vhs tapes and cds i miss feeding my computers and tvs yummy treats

14. He's out of line, but he's right:

Twitter: @BATHSmusic

15.Ok, I will also be using this in my daily life:

i feel like people need to relearn genre expectations man this tragedy sucks why didn't they just xyz then everything could've ended happily, well then it woudn't be a tragedy would it
u/the-co1ossus / Via

16.Grubhub driver has pizazz:

this is your grubhub driver, thomas, seek me outside for i have come
u/ZEAC2001 / Via

17. And finally, this masterpiece of a sentence:

Twitter: @thenoahkinsey

Want more brand new sentences? Check out last month's roundup!

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