Folks revealed some pretty wild and dirty things they learned from porn, tried out, and...well, were pretty disappointed about afterwards.
So, here are some wild things people learned from porn that turned out to be totally not true:
Note: These submissions don't reflect a universal experience of sex acts people dislike. Everyone's story is different.
1."That smacking her clit with my dick repeatedly gets her wet, and that's the only foreplay needed."
"I tried this with an ex. She started laughing and asked, 'Why do guys do that?' I asked, 'It doesn't feel good?' and she said, 'No — it doesn't do anything.' I haven't done it since."
2."As someone who [tried a sudden switch to anal sex with a woman], it nearly broke my dick in half (to say nothing of her bruised and bloodied corn hole). I have no clue why anyone would try it. An unprepared butthole is no place for a penis."
3."When I had sex for the first time, I thought she wanted me to shoot it on her face rather than in the rubber — she didn't."
"I always thought my girlfriend liked it when I came in her ear because every time I tried to cum on her face she turned her head 🤷♂️."
4."That you change positions (and holes) like it's time to spin the wheel. I mean, I've had sessions where we did three (maybe four) different positions, but damn. The amount of position changes they have in porn just looks exhausting to me now."
"As a teen in the late '90s/early '00s, my friends and I would brag about how many positions we used. Now that I'm in my forties, I'm good with two at most. The good news is that she likes to be on top, and I like to be lazy."
5."I didn’t realize that as a woman, peeing after sex is essential. Not just like, 'Oh, it’s better if you do but it’s not a big deal.' It's literally, 'If you do not do this, you WILL get a UTI.' I learned this the hard way (I don't know why that was never included in sex education — I always thought mine was pretty in-depth, but I guess not)."
6."That fingering a girl is like trying to start a fire with two sticks: the faster and harder you do it, the better the reaction. I played that poor girl's pelvic floor like a drum..."
7."Shower sex looked so fun. Then reality hits, and one person is either cold or getting blasted in the face with water and trying not to slip. Just a heads up for you younger men out there: Shampoo, soap, and conditioner burn if they get in your pee hole."
8."That guys are always able to get hard very fast...all the time. Sometimes it may take a while, and other times it may not happen (even if they are liking it...)."
"I hate that anxiety. It only happens in the beginning of a relationship for me because I'm constantly thinking in my head to 'get hard.' But once I'm comfortable, it's not a problem."
9."That penetration sex is supposed last 20–25 minutes between three to four positions (and if I only last a few minutes, she'll think I'm a chump)."
"I've had to tell multiple men, 'I'm starting to get sore — you think you're gonna finish soon?' Just because I could literally feel them purposely holding back every time they would start to 'get there.' Why is this even a notion?!
Maybe when I was 18 and a fucking hormonal jack-rabbit...but anything after 25 years old, all I want is a little starter oral or even finger to get me good and ready. A solid five to 10 minutes tops — I want to get pleasure and enjoy this, not get severe exercise/a workout. That's what the gym is for 😆."
10."That choking, gagging, and tearing up when giving head is enjoyable. Clearly it’s not — also having your head pulled towards the crotch so the dick is further in your throat. Don’t ever use force and let the girl 'work' unless she’s asked you to and she likes the sudden force."
11."Soft-porn sex scenes in films made me think you could just finish and catch your breath and fall asleep. In reality there is a bit more clean up. If she's on top and you're not using a condom, it might drip on you when she gets off. You don't care about the mess at the time, but once you've finished, it's like doing the dishes after a dinner party."
12."That anything adventurous is just up for grabs without prior conversation and consent (wild positions, pain, anal, oral, what's happening with my load)."
"My best friend got married and on the wedding night she said to him, 'You can fuck my arse,' so he did. She must have been feeling too good after a day of drinking and shat everywhere, diarrhea style (he told me this long after the divorce)."
13."That all women love giving head."
"I'll turn off a massage porno if the woman is getting her massage, looking all pampered and oiled up, then she has to turn around and give the masseuse head. Like fuck that, you're the one getting the massage, he is getting paid!"
"This one actually kinda messed me up.
Teenage me was a little bummed out when interacting with girls who didn't just tear my pants off and pounce on it, like sucking a dick was their one-true desire in life..."
14."A lot of what we see in porn is VERY kinky. Some people do enjoy it, but the way porn normalizes it, it means people are going into these situations without the right communication skills (e.g., negotiating scenes first, even knowing they should). It also means a lot of men truly devalue women who enjoy it. Play is supposed to be exactly that: A liminal state where you're acting as if something that is not true...is. All of this leads to a messy cocktail of poor consent practices, true (instead of playful) degradation, and quite a mess. It's unfortunate."
15."You don't talk during sex. Obviously you don't hold full dialogue during it, but it's so much better when you're communicating (and even laughing sometimes)."
"Me and my first ex would have random conversations during sex — I actually kinda miss it."
"My wife and I actually do have full conversations during sex. Some of our sex, I think because it's so frequent, ends up being super casual and just about chilling and feeling good. It's actually some of the most fun sex we have."
16."I always thought you started out with a 10-minute blowjob before sex. I gave one to my first boyfriend and realized that’s not gonna work if I wanna have sex with him 💀."
"From a man's perspective, I also thought this was how it was supposed to be done. But when my girlfriend (now wife) does a blowjob as foreplay, I have to sometimes stop her after a short while because otherwise there would be no 'traditional' penetration. It's so hot and feels awesome, but yeah — it can be too good to handle :D."
17."Stamina is not as easy as it looks (and flexibility is not as common as I thought). And you don't just tear off the clothing and start bumping immediately. Grabbing her, pawing at her, and kissing her doesn't make her wet right away. Sometimes kissing her back/neck, and rubbing her leg or thighs is more effective..."
18.And finally, "A lot of people think that both partners will cum at the exact same time, every time. Linda: If a guy is cumming on your face, you do NOT have to moan like you're cumming too (especially without any stimulation or actions towards you)."
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.