The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (May 7-13)
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below, then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
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Left the back door open at my friend's house and her roomba escaped. Hope he goes on an adventure and cleans the whole world
— Carmen Lagala (@CarmenLagala) May 12, 2022
girls trip!!!!!! Me and my girl cat were in the living room and now we are in the kitchen
— steph mccann (@steph_mcca) May 9, 2022
feeling sad today. can everyone please send cute pictures of their credit card, front and back?
— trash jones (@jzux) May 7, 2022
Happy for the woman that got her period in the 11th hour. 🙏🏾💚 pic.twitter.com/badaHePSWC
— r u ok? (@BtSquared2) May 10, 2022
Did it hurt? When I told you to google it and I was right
— Mija (@hi_mija) May 8, 2022
Today, TWO people who I don't really talk to that often each randomly crossed my mind, and then each reached out to me shortly after. Putting a lot of energy into thinking about Oscar Issac today.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) May 11, 2022
Metal band logos are like pic.twitter.com/k9c1YVsG2u
— Sarah K. (@SarahKomedy) May 8, 2022
originalism is so fucking stupid. the founders would not even recognize the world we live in. james madison would start sobbing immediately if you put him on a ski lift
— kellen heniford (@hellenkeniford) May 10, 2022
do you guys think I could ask a girl I never talked to in college whether or not she broke up with her fiance, a guy i've never met? they haven't been in photos together for a few months. what's the etiquette here
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) May 11, 2022
This man just paid for my stuff at the gas station and said happy Mother’s Day.. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I don’t have kids…😅
— MzAdubb (@AdubbMz) May 7, 2022
Obsessed with this $1,500 Anthropologie couch made for two people who hate each other pic.twitter.com/jyBx1JxyCv
— G. L. DiVittorio (@gldivittorio) May 9, 2022
At my funeral, take the bouquet off my coffin and throw it into the crowd to see who is next.
— Margo Howard (@Margoandhow) May 12, 2022
i’ve started reading before bed instead of scrolling twitter and not only am i sleeping really well, but i also think i’m better than everyone
— Alex Murdoch (@alexgmurd) May 12, 2022
When I was 2, my parents went on a work trip to Argentina and made a guide to taking care of me for my aunt lmao pic.twitter.com/eWOEvZHsgp
— Marie Bardi (@mariebardi) May 8, 2022
I love the way disaster movies are like "there is ONE kind of dad and he is DIVORCED and UNRELIABLE and will SAVE THE DAY"
— Sarah Hollowell 🐋 (@sarahhollowell) May 11, 2022
If you’ve listened to a man speak for more than 30 minutes, you’re a mother.
— Camille Corbett (@TheWittyGirl) May 8, 2022
i simply would have made this announcement from any other room, wearing any other outfit https://t.co/2u1XNn6Vj5
— rax ‘leads with her crotch’ king (@RaxKingIsDead) May 10, 2022
“please see cashier” i’m gonna get in my car & find another gas station is what i’m gonna do
— makayla edwards (@makaylaedwardss) May 9, 2022
he wants me so bad (he viewed my story)
— alex (@alex2sexyy) May 12, 2022
“everyone is a combination of two of the brothers from malcolm in the middle, i’m malcolm sun dewey rising” - me to my friends who are getting married and buying a house
— Imogen West-Knights (@ImogenWK) May 9, 2022
This article originally appeared on HuffPost and has been updated.