The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.
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Everyone hates millennials until it’s time to convert a PDF into a Word document
— Sara Valentine (@saramvalentine) September 18, 2018
A dating app for people who would never, ever plan a highly public proposal.
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) September 18, 2018
Nails are just your finger teeth. Next question.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) September 17, 2018
AM I HUNGRY OR AM I JUST DISAPPOINTED IN THE WORLD AT LARGE
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) September 20, 2018
[Boyfriend proposes to me in a beautiful garden in the moonlight or some shit]
Me:[licking lips in an unsavoury manner] hell yeah this is gonna get so many likes— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) September 19, 2018
posting something only i think is funny pic.twitter.com/Hn953lNhhp
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) September 21, 2018
my organs: please give us some water we are literally shriveling, please.
me: *removes frosé from freezer*— king crissle (@crissles) September 17, 2018
[first day as a hacker] *puts ax down* i got inside their computer alright
— sarahdactyl (@girlnarly) September 20, 2018
being “cross-faded” at 30 means I took cbd oil AND I’m using my weighted blanket
— Rosemary Donahue (@rosadona) June 18, 2018
I feel strongly that I need to figure out what my favourite flower is before I'm 30. Bitches who have their shit together always have a favourite flower
— bolu babalola (@BeeBabs) September 19, 2018
Me: OMG I love this song
Radio: should I play it again
Me: okay
Radio: fifteen times
Me: wait
Radio: every hour
Me: no
Radio: for the next six months— Sassparilla (@Megatronic13) September 19, 2018
My mom: you should really try to cut out some of the stressors in your life. It's unhealthy how stressed you are.
Me: *shows my mom to the door*— Lauren Mullen (@DraggingFeeties) September 15, 2018
on the eve of our wedding, two racoons broke into our home through a window left ajar and ate every bread product in our kitchen, further proof that we must feed the raccoons in order to keep them content and complacent. this is my only mayoral platform.
— Scaachi (@Scaachi) September 18, 2018
They were out of cinnamon raisin baby. pic.twitter.com/wziYmjQxsf
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) September 19, 2018
i am deeply unsatisfied with all aspects of my life but i have found a solution called spending every single dollar i have on barbecue potato chips so far it is not working
— dirt prince (@pants_leg) September 15, 2018
A woman doesn’t need a man but a woman with acrylic nails does need some kind of live-in help to fasten buttons and open cans of cat food thanks
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) September 21, 2018
“there’s just not enough time in the day to get things done!!!!” -a girl who woke up at 1pm
— kelly (@kelllicopter) September 19, 2018
everyone should be nice to me for one very big reason:
1. please— bby ghoul (@silkybean) September 15, 2018
I like how cold medicine is either “drowsy” or “forces you to stare into space like a reanimated corpse realizing hours later that you’ve been awake and not asleep”
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) September 18, 2018
my commute was 75 minutes today which gave me ample time to think about important things like how much i hate my commute
— beth mccoll (@imteddybless) September 17, 2018
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This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
