Pass the Corn…y Thanksgiving Jokes, Please

Pass the Corn…y Thanksgiving Jokes, Please

Grab those (turkey) drumsticks! Somebody’s got to be ready to deliver that bu-dum tish sound effect for all the hilarious Thanksgiving jokes coming to a family gathering near you. This collection of 87 one-liners is sure to bring on the laughter, which just happens to be one of our favorite Thanksgiving traditions.

Have turkey jokes in mind? Jokes for kids? Jokes for adults? Pilgrim jokes? Knock-knock jokes? We've got those all covered, with plenty of dad joke humor in there and some punny puns too (here's some more puns and memes for good measure). So as you post pics of your festivities with the perfect Instagram captions and pour those Thanksgiving cocktails, pull out this list and get to joking around.

And don't worry, 99 percent of these Thanksgiving jokes are clean enough for the kids' table (skip the pop-timer one) but are sure to entertain the children at heart too. So get to poking at some fun while you all poke at your food! With these jokes, you're sure to be on a casse-role at the table.

Turkey Thanksgiving Jokes

thanksgiving turkey dining room
"I thought you said we were having two turkeys this year." "Yes, your uncle is right over there."Thomas Barwick - Getty Images
  • "Why did the turkey bring a microphone?" "He was ready to roast."

  • "Which side of a turkey has more feathers?" "The outside."

  • "Is that your pop-up timer or are you just happy to see me?"

  • “What do you get when you cross a turkey with a centipede?” “Drumsticks for everyone!”

  • "Why did the turkey stand on stilts?" "Because nobody eat flamingoes for Thanksgiving dinner."

  • "What kind of turkey requires ID?" "Wild Turkey."

  • "What did the turkey say when he met the president?" "Pardon me."

  • "How does a turkey travel?" "By gravy train."

  • "What do you call a turkey the day after Thanksgiving?" "Lucky!"

  • "What did the turkey say to his real estate agent?" "Turn-key only."

  • "What’s a turkey’s favorite month?" "They don’t have one, but they prefer any other than November!"

  • "What sound does a turkey's phone make?" "Wing-wing-wing."

  • "What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter on Thanksgiving Day?" "Quack, Quack!"

  • "Why did the farmer have to separate the chicken and the turkey?" "He sensed fowl play."

  • "What key has legs and can't open a door?" "A tur-key."

  • "Why did they let the turkey join the band?" "Because he had his own drumsticks."

  • "What happened to the turkey that got in a fight?" "He got the stuffing knocked out of him!"

black turkey with blue head
"These are your jokes, and I’m the turkey?"gustavo ramirez - Getty Images
  • "You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when you thought the serving size for turkey was one."

  • "Why shouldn't you sit next to a turkey at dinner?" "Because he will gobble it up."

  • "If you call a big turkey a gobbler, what do you call a small one?" "A goblet."

  • "What do you call a running turkey?" "Fast food."

  • "What's blue and covered in feathers?" "A turkey holding its breath."

  • "What's the best song to play while cooking a turkey?" "All about that baste."

  • "Why did the turkey cross the road?" "He wanted people to think he was a chicken."

  • "Why was the turkey put in jail?" "The police suspected fowl play."

  • "How come the turkey didn't eat dinner?" "He was already stuffed."

  • "What did the turkey say to the computer?" "Google, google."

  • "What do you get if you cross a turkey with a ghost?" "A poultry-geist."

  • "What kind of weather does a turkey like?" "Fowl weather."

  • "What did the leftover turkey say?" "Make me a sandwich!"

Thanksgiving Food Jokes

thanksgiving spread with turkey
"Pass the corn(y jokes), please."Getty Images
  • "How did the peas feel when they found out everyone preferred mashed potatoes?" "They were green with envy."

  • "Got any cornbread jokes?" "I do, but they're corny."

  • "What side dish requires a plus-one when invited to dinner?" "Mac and cheese."

  • "Why did the comedian ask you to pass the bread?" "He was trying to get on a roll."

  • "What did the dressing say to the turkey?" "You ain't seen stuffing yet."

  • "I tried a new pie recipe." "Wow, you're a real pie-oneer."

  • "How was the butternut squash soup?" "It was gourd."

  • "Why did the potato apologize?" "He mashed up."

  • "What side dish do you bring for Thanksgiving dinner when you accidentally sat on the sweet potatoes?" "Squash casserole."

  • "What role do green beans play in Thanksgiving dinner?" "The casse-role."

  • "What's Frankenstein's favorite Thanksgiving dish?" "Monster mash potatoes and grave-y."

  • "What's a turkey's favorite dessert?" "Peach gobbler!"

  • "How'd the Thanksgiving cheese plate go over?" "Everyone was grateful."

  • "Why was the Thanksgiving soup so expensive?" "It had 24 carrots."

  • "What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?" "If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!"

  • "Why did the cranberries turn red?" "Because they saw the turkey dressing."

  • "You know you overdid it on Thanksgiving when you cut yourself shaving and you bleed gravy."

  • "My grandma made mashed potatoes from a box. That's it. That's the joke."

Thanksgiving Jokes for Kids

grandmother and granddaughter basting turkey
Jose Luis Pelaez Inc - Getty Images
  • "What do you say when you have to leave Thanksgiving before dessert?" "Pie-pie!"

  • "Why did the turkey get detention at school?" "He used fowl language."

  • "What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?" "A har-vest."

  • "Why didn't the cook season the Thanksgiving turkey?" "There was no thyme!"

  • "What's a turkey's favorite Thanksgiving food?" "Nothing—it's already stuffed."

  • "Which holiday is Dracula's favorite?" "Fangs-giving."

  • "What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?" "The turkey trot."

  • "What instrument does a turkey play?" "The drumsticks!"

  • "What kind of key can't open doors?" "A tur-key."

  • "What sound does a dizzy turkey make?" "Wobble, wobble."

  • "What did Han Solo say to Luke Skywalker on Thanksgiving?" "May the forks be with you."

Pilgrim Thanksgiving Jokes

pilgrim table scene
Getty Images
  • "What did pilgrim teenagers think about the first Thanksgiving?" "It was corny."

  • "What kind of music did the pilgrims listen to?" "Plymouth Rock."

  • "If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?" "Pilgrims."

  • "Why didn't the pilgrim want to make the bread?" "It's a crummy job."

  • "What do you a call the age of a pilgrim?" "Pilgrimage."

  • "Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down?" "Because they wear their buckles on their hats!"

  • "What's John Wayne's favorite holiday?" "Thanksgiving, Pilgrim."

Thanksgiving Knock-Knock Jokes

family laughing thanksgiving
  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Gobble." "Gobble who?" "Gobble me, obviously. It's Thanksgiving and I'm a turkey."

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Figs." "Figs who?" "Figs the doorbell. We have Thanksgiving guests coming."

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Turkey." "Turkey who?" "Exactly. Now where can I hide?"

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Abby." "Abby who?" "Abby Thanksgiving!"

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Senior." "Senior who?" "Senior cooking. Can I have some?"

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Graham." "Graham who?" "Graham cracker crust is my favorite."

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Norma Lee." "Norma Lee who?" "Norma Lee I don't drink eat this much!"

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Tamara." "Tamara who?" "Tamara we'll eat all the leftovers!"

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Annie." "Annie who?" "Annie body seen the turkey?"

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Arthur." "Arthur who?" "Arthur any leftovers?"

  • "Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Don." "Don who?" "Don eat all the gravy, I want some more."

Thanksgiving Puns

family seated around thanksgiving table
Getty Images
  • Feelin' gravy.

  • I yam what I yam.

  • I'm all about that baste.

  • Stop, drop, and pass the rolls!

  • My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn't quit cold turkey.

  • I only have pies for you.

  • Hey I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe.

  • Let's get basted.

  • Gobble 'til you wobble.

  • Oh my gourd, I ate too much.

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