Bill Maher Imagines Other Botched Movie Quotes Joe Biden Could Use to Insult People

Ross A. Lincoln

Like a lot of comedians this week, Bill Maher was greatly amused by the bizarre “lying, dog-faced pony soldier” insult that Joe Biden aimed at a New Hampshire voter ahead of that state’s primary. So he came up with a few more for the presidential candidate to use inspired not just by the insult, but by Biden’s mistaken explanation for it.

On Sunday during an appearance in New Hampshire, a woman in the audience asked the former vice president about his poor showing in the Iowa caucus fiasco. Biden asked the woman if she had ever attended a caucus and when she said she had, he responded “No you haven’t! You’re a lying, dog-faced pony soldier.”

After what seemed like half the country reacted with a collective “wait, what?” the Biden campaign team explained that the insult was actually a quote from an old John Wayne movie. However, the campaign didn’t specify which movie and no one else was able to identify it either, and with good reason: It turns out the line is actuallyfrom a Tyrone Powers movie.

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So it is that at the mid-point of Friday’s episode of “Real Time,” after playing a clip of the moment, Maher said that Biden “is often quoting movie lines that don’t really exist.” And then he provided some examples. See them below (with pictures):

“Life is like a box of Ex-Lax,” a garbled reference to “Forrest Gump.”

“Luke, I am your Daddy-O,” a mangling of “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back.”

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“I love the smell of Ben-Gay in the morning,” a napalm-free reference to “Apocalypse Now.”

“The first rule of hair club is you do not talk about hair club,” a reference both to Biden’s hair line and to “Fight Club.”

“Keep your friends close and your enemas closer,” a nod to “The Godfather Part II.”

“You talking to me? Well speak up, why are you whispering?” offers an update on Robert De Niro’s line in “Taxi Driver.”

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“I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna shop at this Walgreens anymore,” a reference to “Network.”

And finally, “I feel the need, the need to pee,” a double on Tom Cruise’s line in “Top Gun.”

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