Billie Lourd Says Carrie Fisher Died 'Too Damn Young' in Emotional Birthday Tribute: Today 'I Wanted My Mom'

Billie Lourd wrote on Instagram that she "just felt sad" when she woke up on Oct. 21, what would have been her mother Carrie Fisher's birthday

<p>Billie Lourd/Instagram</p> Carrie Fisher and Billie Lourd in an undated photo on Billie Lourd

Billie Lourd/Instagram

Carrie Fisher and Billie Lourd in an undated photo on Billie Lourd's Instagram

Billie Lourd "just felt sad" when she woke up on her late mother Carrie Fisher's birthday.

Lourd, 32, marked what would have been Fisher's 68th birthday on Monday, Oct. 21, by sharing an undated photo of her with Fisher — who died on Dec. 27, 2016, at age 60 — to Instagram that appeared to show a past birthday celebration for the Star Wars icon.

"My mom would’ve been 68 today. Dead person birthdays are weird to say the least. On my mom’s birthday every year, I try to celebrate her as much as possible, but today I really wanted to celebrate her with her," Lourd wrote in a caption to her post. "Some years my grief makes me feel the warmth of her love, some years it makes me angry, some years I feel numb but today when I woke up I just felt sad. I didn’t want to celebrate, I just wanted my mom."

Lourd added that her "sadness bodysnatched me" and that she googled "average death age woman" and found that American women on average live 80.2 years, as per the CDC.

"My mom died when she was 60. 60 is too damn young to die," Lourd wrote in her emotional post.

Related: Billie Lourd Marks Late Mother Carrie Fisher's Birthday by Seeing Her 'All-Time Favorite' Joni Mitchell in Concert

Fisher's death was caused by sleep apnea, atherosclerotic heart disease and “drug use," according to her toxicology report. In her tribute post, Lourd wrote that she googled "drug overdose deaths" as she reflected on her mom's death on Monday.

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"I did everything in my power to help my mom get sober but sadly my mom couldn’t ever escape her addiction," she wrote in her caption. "But while she was alive she always shared the ups and downs of that struggle with others in hopes it would help them escape their own addiction. As an addict, being open about the struggle is the only way through."

Related: Why Billie Lourd Says Her Last Showgirl Role ‘Reminded Me So Much of My Mom and Grandma’ (Exclusive)

Todd Williamson/Getty Carrie Fisher and Billie Lourd on Dec. 14, 2015
Todd Williamson/Getty Carrie Fisher and Billie Lourd on Dec. 14, 2015

"And same goes for those of us affected by that struggle," she finished in her post. "Sending my love to anyone out there who has lost someone to drug addiction. You are not alone. ❤️"

Lourd's friend and two-time costar Kaitlyn Dever, whose own mother died back in February, offered Lourd a supportive comment in support of her post. "I love u I love you," Dever, 27, wrote.

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