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Your old Ford Excursion can turn into a rock-crawling beast for $72,000

This is a 2000 Ford Excursion with just 89,000 miles on the clock. Its seller on eBay describes the SUV as "mint," only it doesn't look much like your typical Blue Oval family hauler, does it?

That's because if you hand your old Excursion over to Jeremy Dixon at JD3.com and write him a check for $50,000, he will make a few minor modifications and turn it into what you see above: The wildly ridiculous, idiotic, hare-brained "RockZilla" -- a machine that, despite its weirdness, we all want to own.

And now you can, because Dixon is selling this very rock-crawler for $72,000 (the extra $22k derives from the cost of the original Excursion on which it's based). Over the years he's built 75 other machines with no two exactly alike. This, however, is the only one currently for sale, and features a Ford V-10 engine, a 44-gallon fuel tank and gets a 11 mpg at 75 mph. It rides on knobbly 54 inch Michelin XZLs, the four cooling fans on the radiator are moved to the rear so you don't get wafted with hot air, and they're raised so as to allow for deep wading. The twin windshields have frames which bolt onto the chassis, meaning you can remove them easily when off-roading. Among other bits are waterproof storage areas, like the pods on the side that were used by the military, and a small trunk in the rear to house things like tools, tow straps and presumably Ted Nugent's guns.

And yes, "RockZilla" is perfectly street legal (in states where open wheels are allowed) and is even serviceable by your local Ford dealer, according to Dixon. So put that old Excursion to use, why don't you? Turn it into something the whole family can enjoy.