As Singaporeans, do we focus more on comfort than character?

Some Yahoo! readers have made comments about which political party they think I identify with.

Other readers have even suggested that a certain political party pays me to write articles for Yahoo!

None of this is true.

I write from the bottom of my heart as a Singaporean who has completed my National Service, who pays taxes, and who’s deeply concerned about the future of this country.

What this article isn’t about

This article is no different. I want to talk about our obsession with comfort.

Please don’t get me wrong; I know there are Singaporeans who struggle to put food on the table, despite working multiple jobs. We need to help these people.

And, yes, we need to address issues like the rising cost of living and stiff competition in the job market.

But these are topics to be discussed in another article.

Why I might be condemning myself by writing this article

This article is written to people who would like to have more money (who wouldn’t, right?), but who aren’t exactly worried about where their next meal is going to come from.

It’s addressed to people who probably own a smartphone, who are probably reading this article on their computer, and who occasionally eat out at nice restaurants.

This describes many Singaporeans, including me.

So if I write anything damning in this piece, it’s self-condemnation.

The allure of the comfortable life

I’ll admit that I want to lead a more comfortable life.

This is despite the fact that, compared to plenty of developing countries, I know I have it pretty good here in Singapore.

I recently bought a HDB flat, but I dream about moving to a bigger, more luxurious place in the future. I dream about owning a nice car. I dream about traveling the world.

Many Singaporeans have similar aspirations.

In other words, we want comfort—the more of it, the merrier.

Life just isn’t comfortable enough

But as I reflected on where we’re heading as a society, I realized that lots of Singaporeans are frustrated with the government—and with life in general—largely because life isn’t as comfortable as we’d like it to be.

The work hours are too long.

The trains are too crowded.

It takes too much time to get to school or work.

Bringing up children is too stressful.

Is life meant to be one big cruise ship?

These are all valid concerns. We need to recognize, however, that they stem from our overwhelming desire to lead a comfortable life.

It’s almost as if we feel entitled to a comfortable life.

It’s dangerous to think this way, because I firmly believe that we’re not entitled to anything. Our baseline expectation should be that life is tough, not that life is easy.

If we can afford to buy a computer, take a vacation, go shopping, and retire comfortably, we should count ourselves blessed. We should be thankful, because we can’t take any of these things for granted.

As Howard Hendricks once said, “A man who complains that the coffee is too cold or the beer too warm is a man who thinks he is on a cruise ship.”

But is life meant to be one long vacation on a cruise ship? Or is it life meant to be about something much richer, deeper and greater than just our personal enjoyment?

Have we become so obsessed about leading a comfortable life that we’ve forgotten about what really matters?

An exercise that will take you 10 seconds to complete

It’s time for a short exercise.

Please take the next 10 seconds and think about the person you admire most. It could be someone you know personally, or it could even be a historical figure whom you’ve only ever read about.

Now that you have this person in mind, let me ask you: What do you admire most about him or her?

I’m guessing that it’s traits like the following that you admire:

• Kindness

• Generosity

• Courage

• Commitment

• Love

• Perseverance

• Passion

You probably don’t admire the person simply because she lives in a mansion, owns a luxury yacht, or has traveled the world.

You didn’t think to yourself, “I respect him for the unbelievably comfortable life he leads!”

Character vs. comfort

We glorify comfort. We’re bombarded by commercials featuring comfortable homes, comfortable cars, and comfortable vacations.

But I think you’ll agree with me that a comfortable life isn’t necessarily a meaningful one.

If we want to create meaning in our lives—both as individuals and as a society—we need to focus on character, not comfort.

How to attain permanent success

Here’s one of my favourite quotes:

“Many succeed momentarily by what they know; some succeed temporarily by what they do; few succeed permanently by what they are.” - Anonymous

In order to achieve permanent success, we need to become people of courage, integrity, kindness, generosity and determination.

Permanent success is all about what we are, not what we have.

The former focuses on character; the latter focuses on comfort.

Shortchanging ourselves of a great life

If we don’t continually remind ourselves that character trumps comfort in the long run, we’ll shortchange ourselves of a truly significant life.

Here are some questions for us to think about, myself included:

• What values will I live by?

• What do I want my legacy to be?

• What traits do I want to embody?

• What does success mean to me?

• How do I want to contribute?

• How will I make a difference in the lives of others?

• How much money is enough?

• How will I serve my community?

In closing…

As we reflect on these questions and choose to live a principles-centered life, I’m confident that Singapore won’t be defined by convenience, and certainly not by a complaining spirit.

Instead, Singapore will be defined by its traits of courage, commitment and compassion.

Together, let’s become a nation of character, not just comfort.

Daniel Wong is a learning and personal development expert, as well as a certified youth counselor. A sought-after speaker and coach, he is also the best-selling author of "The Happy Student: 5 Steps to Academic Fulfillment and Success". He offers programmes to help students attain exam excellence while also finding happiness and fulfillment, and to empower parents to motivate their unmotivated teenagers. He writes regularly at www.daniel-wong.com. Download his FREE e-books, "The Unhappiness Manifesto: Do You Make These 150 Mistakes In The Pursuit Of Happiness?" and "Singapore Scholarship Guide: The $500,000 Decision". The views expressed are his own.