Breakup drove her to extreme exercise routine

She was using his phone to check for the address of a café when her gut instinct told her to look at his photo album.

What Serene Cheng saw next drained the blood from her face completely – intimate pictures of her then-husband with another woman.

“Up to that point, I honestly never suspected anything in the 10 years we have been together. He and I have been married for four years and we were happy. Well, at least I thought we were,” said the 35-year-old marketing manager.

“Seeing photos of him kissing another woman was a big blow and I was greatly shocked, but I managed to maintain my composure in public.”

Cheng later found out that he had been unfaithful to her for over a year – “I’m just not physically attracted to you anymore” was his reason.

Slowly, Cheng uncovered his lies and more details of the affair surfaced. “This third party was actually a vendor he introduced to me previously for one of my work projects and that made me feel really sick,” she said.

However, the man remained unrepentant.

“Instead of feeling guilty for what he did, he was reluctant to break off with the other woman and continued seeing her. I even caught him lying many times. It even got to a point where I was begging him to leave her and stay with me,” she recalled grimly.

After four months, Cheng finally reached her limit and filed for divorce.

“I couldn’t function – I was taking a lot of leave from work and I kept getting anxiety attacks. Nobody knew what was going on because I was keeping it all to myself, so I was beginning to implode,” she shared. “I decided I had enough.”

The divorce procedures took time and during the process, there were occasions when she became emotional and nearly halted the proceedings.

Throughout the ordeal, Cheng turned to exercise to take her mind off things.

But what started as a distraction from her problems became an excessive addiction.

She started with 10km runs, and began running longer and longer distances, easily running 30km at a time.

On top of running four times a week, she also hit the gym three times with her personal trainer and cycled or did yoga on her non-running days.

“Initially, I picked up running again as a way to escape and clear my mind. Working out was my only release, but I soon realised I was overdoing things. I would break down and cry, especially when my trainer pushed me harder and I questioned myself for doing so much,” she said.

Eventually, Cheng cut back on her excessive exercise and put together a more manageable regime – down to four or five times a week – as she recovered from the turmoil.

Dangers of over-exercising

Exercise is a good outlet for releasing tension, but it should not be viewed as the only way to heal from a difficult experience, said one psychologist.

Cissy Li, clinical psychologist of Dynamics Psychological Practice, explained, “Exercise is one way to deal with emotional stress. However, just like any release, it is important to diversify so that we have many different ways to release tension.

“Otherwise, exercise becomes an avoidance activity. Continue to make sure to look after your body, seek social supports, engage in pleasurable activities and give yourself an emotional release too.”

Li says that a lot of people find an outlet in exercise as it allows them to be present and aware in the moment without getting overwhelmed by sadness thinking about the past, or worrying about the future.

However, she cautions that there is a tendency to end up over-exercising.

Warning signs include continuing to exercise despite having an injury, continuing to exercise even when it interferes with your daily activities, becoming upset for not completing a specific exercise ritual, or compensating for not exercising by skipping meals.

Ultimately, it is important to find a balance and not depend on exercise as the only mode of healing, Li advised.

While Cheng plans to take part in a full marathon soon, she admitted that her previous exercise regime was too extreme. She has also found the courage to share her story so she can help others who are struggling too.

“Consider taking up a new sport or putting together a fitness routine if you are going through a rough patch in life. It helps to take the mind off things and time will heal. Just don’t get too excessive like I did!” she said.

Cheryl Tay profiles people who have overcome adversities in life and turned their lives around positively through sports and fitness. She also runs a body image movement, www.RockTheNakedTruth.com, to help others find their confidence.