A husband wants his wife to do more household chores like having dinner ready when he gets home from work.
He asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******? (AITA)” forum if he was genuinely mistaken. His wife spends a lot of her free time taking her kids on fun activities while he’s at work. That means she’s exhausted when he gets home and doesn’t feel like handling other responsibilities. He’s wondering if he’s asking too much of his wife.
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“My wife and I have been married for 6 years, we have 2 kids (6M & 4F),” he wrote. “My wife works 3 days per week, while I work 5 days per week. My wife would like to work even less, or quit completely be a full-time mommy. I support this, but I don’t think it is a good idea for now for 2 simple reasons. We can’t afford it, and my wife has very few friends and her job offers her a social circle she would otherwise not have.”
“Now onto the current situation. Her job has roughly 12 weeks per year of paid vacation (we are not in the US), since she works in education. Currently, she is in a 6 week vacation period, while I still have to work. Lately, she has been doing a lot of fun things with the kids. Like going to the petting zoo, beach, playground, etc. All of it is tons of fun, and I really happy she is doing all of these fun things with the kids. The problem however, when I get home from work, is that she is tired from having to take care of the kids all day.”
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“Also, since she went to the beach all day, she didn’t have time to do basic chores, like cleaning up some of the dishes etc. Not talking about complete deep house cleaning. So when I get home, she basically expects me to pick up some extra chores, because she is tired. I’ll sum up some of my thoughts, as to why I am bothered by this; We shared chores about as equally as possible. For example, on an average day where both of us work, (she works 6 hours, while I do 8) she cooks, because she is home earlier than I am. I shower both kids, read a book with them and put them to bed, because she doesn’t like to do that. After that I clean up the toys etc and do some more things that might be needed.”
“My wife does the dishes in the dishwasher and usually vacuuming the floor. Whenever I have a day off and my wife does not, I also make it a point to have dinner ready when she comes home. Simply because I figure it is fair. It just happens a lot less often because I work more hours and don’t have as many vacation days. It is not about traditional husband/wife roles, I don’t care about that. I don’t mind mopping the floor, vacuum cleaning etc. It is about sharing the load. It feels like whenever she has the day off with the kids, she is actually way more tired than after a day of work. I DO realize that a day with kids and household chores can be demanding, I also have them sometimes. It can very much feel like a workday.”
People felt he wasn’t seeing things from his wife’s point of view.
“This is the lifestyle you created. If you want to change it, you need to sit down with her,” a user commented.
“You’re really disregarding how much effort she’s putting into parenting your little ones, and how exhausting what she is doing actually is,” another wrote.
“I have a singular 3 year old and cannot imagine the constant running around this woman is doing,” someone added.
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