“The Daily Show” correspondent Lewis Black railed against ABC’s latest reality series hit “The Golden Bachelor” on Tuesday, diminishing it as “proof that people of any age can be milked for drama.”
Centered on 71-year-old Gerry Turner as he vies for the affections of 22 women aged 60 and older, “The Golden Bachelor” did, however, earn some minor affection from notorious cynic Black, who joked that he was happy to see reality contestants like him: “Old and willing to degrade themselves on camera.”
The main issue Black, himself 75, had with the debut season of the series was Turner himself.
“Now, if you’re wondering if he’s one of those cool old guys, he’s not — none of us are!” he exclaimed, before catching Turner up on some slang of the day and the meanings behind various emojis. (Between eggplants, hotdogs and bananas, most emojis, by Black’s estimate, is just an allusion to “penis.”)
“Really, my only problem with the show is the guy they chose to be the Golden Bachelor, well, he’s a f–king schmuck,” Black continued, pulling a montage of some of Turner’s more earnest (see: cringey) moments. “Oh, Christ. This guy is like if the word ‘gee willikers’ was a person. Seriously, Gerry, stop talking about your emotions. We’re boomers, you dickhead! Just get drunk and wonder where your life went wrong in silence. Dignified silence!”
But, Black continued, credit where it’s due: “The Golden Bachelor” does lay on the drama.
“I do have to give credit to this show, because the Golden Bachelor is proof that people of any age can be milked for drama,” he said, pulling up a montage of the eligible women in various states of backstabbing and despair.
“What the f–k is this!” Black exclaimed.
Watch his full breakdown of the ABC series in the video above.