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I Don’t Know Who Needs to Hear This, But Dry-Wiping Your Booty Is Lame — Get This Bidet

Photo credit: Tushy
Photo credit: Tushy


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Some products show up everywhere: subway ads, Instagram, celeb endorsements. With this series, we're testing such products to conclude one thing: Does it live up to the hype?

Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned

The Tushy is an affordable bidet attachment that hooks up to just about any toilet and takes your ordinary potty experience to a spa-like level.

Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned

Bidets have been an overseas wonder for years. For people like me who aren’t accustomed to using or seeing one on the regular, however, they've been a mystifying contraption that always seems too fancy to ever have in my own home.

The Tushy Bidet makes having a squeaky-clean booty easier than ever before — whether you live in a studio apartment or Drake-style mega mansion.

Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned

The idea of a cool stream of water spritzing my nether regions has always been both intriguing and intimidating. Having a tiny nozzle eke up from underneath my toilet seat to christen my booty with a spray of cold water is one of those luxurious things reserved for Europe and the people that can afford a private jet to Europe.

However, with the global health crisis continuing to lend to a serious toilet paper shortage, my options on cleaning my bum have fallen between the baby wipes from when my kid was in diapers (he’s 7 now) and scrolling the internet to find a better solution.

I’d seen ads for the Tushy for months, and to be honest, I thought it was the kind of over-the-top bathroom accessory that I truly didn’t need and wouldn’t use after a while. I mean, why the hell would I need a bidet? Fast-forward to my new normal, and as it turns out, a bidet is actually a totally practical bathroom gadget that can save both water and toilet paper, which is super important right now.

After walking down the grocery aisle to find the shelves totally void of any traces of toilet paper — even the one-ply kind that leaves trails of dust behind — I decided to pull the trigger and give my booty the clean it deserved.

The Tushy is an affordable bidet attachment that can be hooked up to virtually any toilet. The idea is that you don’t have to hit up Task Rabbit in order to install it, since it's a ridiculously easy process. The super sleek attachment transforms your average toilet into a lux booty spa that we all honestly deserve at this point.

After doing the doo, you simply turn the dial and the nozzle squirts a gentle shot of refreshing water right into your backside. Once you’re done, you end up using significantly less toilet paper to pat your bum dry. Then, you can enjoy the revitalizing feeling of an absurdly pristine posterior.

Once I got my Tushy in the mail, I was ready to get it hooked up right that second. However, in order to remove my toilet seat, I needed a few basic tools that I didn’t have on hand, like a wrench and a flathead screwdriver. So a few days after receiving the Tushy and running to Target to pick up the right tools, I was ready.

The installation process was pretty easy and the brand has online videos that literally walk you through the steps. Disclaimer: I put together my son’s loft bed from Ikea a few years ago and it took me 7 hours, three mental breakdowns, and putting it together wrong twice in order for me to finally get it right, though it is still a bit wobbly. So, if you have Ikea furniture assembly experience on your resume, you’ll totally be able to handle installing the Tushy on your own.

The box comes with everything that you’ll need, minus the wrench and screwdriver, so you don’t have to make any last-minute orders for plumbing parts. After a quick 20 minute or less installation, I was ready to treat my booty like the queen she is.

The dial allows for customizable pressure and intensity, so I was able to create the perfect water flow. The Tushy tubing hooks-up directly to your water supply so you aren't bathing your booty in unsanitary toilet water. I admittedly went a little hard on the initial squirt and was unpleasantly surprised, as the water pressure can be pretty intense when cranked up. But after a few times of using it, I found my sweet spot.

Photo credit: Tushy
Photo credit: Tushy

Before the Tushy, I wondered if I actually needed a bidet. I’ve been using TP and wipes for 31 years and I’ve survived just fine. After using the Tushy for a few weeks, I’ve answered my own question. Can I get my booty clean without the heavenly spray of water? Probably. But is my booty cleaner by using the Tushy? Absolutely.

After a couple of weeks, I am a self-professed bidet advocate. However, the power of the bidet is not just a short-term experience. By using a bidet over dry cleaning or wet wipes, you limit the possibility of irritation, down there infections like UTIs, and you’re also helping out the planet. In the U.S. alone, the average four-person household uses around 100 pounds of toilet paper in just a year which accounts for 15% of deforestation.

Basically, dry-wiping your booty is just not sustainable for you or the planet.

When it comes to choosing the right Tushy, the brand offers a few options so you can bidet your way. The Classic Tushy is a simple attachment that allows you to adjust the pressure and direction of the water flow. The more extravagant option, the Tushy Spa, also allows you to adjust the water temperature from cool to warm. You can also take your squirt on the go with the travel bidet. While you’re there, you can stock up on ridiculously soft (and sustainable) bamboo toilet paper or reusable bamboo tushy towels.

With every spray-and-pat session, you can feel good knowing that your bum is actually super clean. Plus, Tushy is taking a piece of your sale to help build community toilets in India to help citizens live a happier and healthier life.

Photo credit: Hearst Owned
Photo credit: Hearst Owned

There is something extra magical and special about leaving the bathroom feeling a few pounds lighter and a whole lot cleaner. The Tushy Bidet is an affordable bathroom upgrade that will make your booty feel like it's worth a million bucks.

Like the great Beyoncé said, “Let me upgrade ya, partner, let me upgrade ya.”

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