EPL TALK: Man United’s Rashford, Eriksen deserve romantic FA Cup triumph

LET’S talk about the romance of the FA Cup. Marcus Rashford fed a nation of hungry kids and Christian Eriksen’s heart stopped on a football pitch. At Saturday’s final, they will walk out at Wembley together. Is that not romantic enough?

It really depends on the outcome, doesn’t it? If the threshing machines of Manchester City do their eviscerating thing, then they might as well lift the trophy to The Doors’ soundtrack, with Jim Morrison reminding us, yet again, that this is the end.

And Manchester United are hardly mounting a last stand for all that is good and holy in the blighted game. They are still owned by the Glazers, remember, those European Super League-loving billionaires who cling on like star-spangled cysts to a weary body.

But there’s something about Rashford and Eriksen that feels warmly nostalgic, a couple of throwbacks to simpler times, when comic-book storylines occasionally played out in reality. Hometown hero makes it to Wembley with his beloved local club. National hero takes on an uncaring government and wins. Exotic superstar effectively dies on the pitch only to experience a resurrection of biblical proportions.

All right, the last two never played out on the panels of comic books. How could they? The headlines are patently absurd. But absurd times sometimes require absurd Wikipedia entries and Rashford and Eriksen just feel like lovely antidotes to the ugly stuff.

In a season when Middle Eastern states effectively carved up the World Cup, the English Premier League, Champions League qualification and perhaps even a Treble between them, there’s something reassuringly relatable in the simple stories of two humble men. One cheated death. One contributed to the political death of a cheating prime minister.

Weirdly, we can connect with these uplifting tales in a way that we cannot with a geopolitical game that’s beyond our intellectual and (hopefully) ethical grasp. What’s happening to elite football is too much to comprehend, too big to change or stop. So we look to the nice guys. We like nice guys. We can identify with nice guys.

And that’s not to say Pep Guardiola’s serial winners are unlikable lads, kicking puppies and stealing little kids’ ice-creams. On the contrary, City are dominating English football like never before, (according to the Guardian, their points average over a six-year period is superior to both the great Liverpool and United sides.) But they are also the beneficiaries of a worrying (and allegedly illegal) financial set-up that is damaging the game.

It’s not their fault, but we don’t usually look to the greedy guys. We don’t like greedy guys. We can’t always identify with greedy guys.

Millionaires that public can empathise with

So we return to Rashford and Eriksen, wondering if we’d be capable of doing the same in similar circumstances. If presented with ridiculous wealth and a huge social media platform, would we use it to petition the Government to provide free school meals for the poorest children or would we use it to sell underwear on Instagram? Rashford gives us hope that we might do the latter. And Eriksen gives us hope that we might survive a cardiac arrest.

These are millionaires that we can empathise with. Earlier this week, Rashford collected a couple of player-of-the-year awards at United and then spoke of his determination to end City’s Treble charge. The Treble belongs exclusively to Manchester United and the local kid would like to keep it that way.

That’s a spontaneous fist-pump in every United-supporting household, surely, a salute to the one who thinks and speaks like everyone else in his tribe. In such moments, the barrier of celebrity vanishes. There is nothing between Rashford and his adoring supporters, just fellow Red Devils eager to pull City’s pants down at Wembley. It’s raw, genuine and lovely.

And then there’s Eriksen. His connection to regular punters transcends the game itself. For two years, he’s had us united in our fears of hearts stopping, lives ending and fretting over what comes next. Eriksen gave us a sneak peek, which was ultimately triumphant and hopeful. Objectively, how can we not root for this man?

His team-mates certainly will be. They’re not the same without him. Before his mid-season injury, Eriksen had seven Premier League assists in 19 appearances, establishing a composed relationship with Casemiro that was positively Zen-like at times. When Eriksen was missing, United wobbled. Sentimentality aside, they need assured performances from their central midfield pair to have any chance of thwarting Guardiola’s untouchables.

And they need goals from the other fella.

Rashford has already knocked in 30 in all competitions, the first United player to do so since Robin van Persie in 2013. Only one of the 30 came in the FA Cup, but Rashford scored six in the Carabao Cup, including one against Newcastle at Wembley to lift the trophy.

The striker has recent form in finals. It’s hard to see United winning without his name on the scoresheet.

But it feels slightly frivolous to focus on stats with Rashford and Eriksen, when their appearance at Wembley is just the latest stop on such a marvellous journey. Eriksen will walk out with an Implantable Cardioverter Defibrillator device, after defying the usual rules concerning life and death to become one of United’s best signings in years. And Rashford’s battle for free school meals was crowned the best UK campaign of the past decade.

Does that make them winners already? No, of course not. They loathe the prospect of losing a Manchester derby at Wembley and helping the enemy move closer to the Treble. They are, in this regard, distinctly human; a rare quality in an elitist season that often felt alien.

It’s a stretch to say that Rashford and Eriksen are just like us. They are not. They are blessed with freakish ability and a devotion to athletic and sporting perfection that is beyond our comprehension. But they are forces for good, in so many different ways, and that’ll do just nicely for the FA Cup final.

Neil Humphreys is an award-winning football writer and a best-selling author, who has covered the English Premier League since 2000 and has written 26 books.

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