‘Everything I dislike about my kids is actually what I dislike about myself’: Mom’s online rant strikes chord with other parents

·3-min read

A mom confessed that she feels like her kids are mirroring her bad habits — and her post seems to have resonated with parents everywhere.

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Shared by Reddit user TheFifthPancake to the subreddit r/Parenting, the mom categorized her post as “Rant/Vent”:

“I’m trying to teach my kids manners, gentle hands, soft voices, listening ears, patience, etc. 

“I get short-tempered when my 4-year-old son snatches things out of my 2-year-old’s hands. I get easily triggered when I see the elder push his little brother down. 

“But in reality, I am a horrible role model. I do not always say please and thank you. I take things out of my kids’ hands without permission. I give no explanations sometimes. 

“It is my fault my kids are following my footsteps.

“Hoping I get on the right path to making changes ASAP.”

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‘ This is the truth about parenting that nobody talks about…’

Many Redditors offered helpful suggestions for the mom — while others shared that they, too, feel they might be influencing their kids in the wrong ways.

“Tell them you are working on being a better person, and you need their help. Tell them you want them to be better than you are, to succeed where you have failed,” one Redditor suggested.

“If you catch yourself doing those things, apologize right in the moment! Everyone slips up, but acknowledging it in the moment will show them that it’s a process and you’re trying to be better,” another user commented.

“I think you realizing this is a huge step in the right direction. You know where they are getting the bad habits from, and through correcting yourself, they will see that it was wrong, and there won’t be the argument ‘but you do it.’ Good eye on realizing your mistakes, and good luck correcting them,” wrote another user.

“I relate to this so much. What’s awesome is the fact you are aware. It’s the first step to cultivating real change. You now have the power — run with it. Don’t get stuck on the shame/blame train. It never leads anywhere good,” added another Redditor.

“I feel this so much. I get angry at my 8-year-old for talking rude or sassy to me, but in reality, I’m cringing because she sounds just like me,” another parent shared.

“Children imitate us on such a basic level. It’s crazy. Our habits. Our words. Our work ethic. Our eating habits. They are mini adults, and we train them to be the adults we are. Sometimes when my toddler has a bad day, it turns out it is just me,” wrote another parent.

 “This is the truth about parenting that nobody talks about. I work on this daily,” added one Redditor.

“It’s good that you’re learning self-awareness… Sometimes we need our children as a mirror for our own misbehavior before we can see it. On the bright side, I don’t know any parents who didn’t have a moment like the one you’re having. Hang in there!” added another parent.

Thankfully, there are many forums like Reddit — along with online support groups and resources — that parents can turn to when they need a little extra help or perspective. 

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