Greg James' wife Bella Mackie opens up about tragic miscarriage
Greg James' wife Bella Mackie has revealed that she suffered a miscarriage last year.
The couple tied the knot in September 2018 after writer Bella had proposed to the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show host, and they have been considering starting a family.
Penning an essay for The Times recently, Bella opened up about the tragic experience and what effect it's had on her mental wellbeing.
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"It was a surprise and only lasted for about three weeks; it could barely be called a miscarriage," she began.
"But even in that brief window my mental health plummeted dramatically. I started having constant intrusive thoughts, my OCD roared back and I couldn't stop crying. The intensity and speed of my deterioration shocked me.
"When I was no longer pregnant, when it was all over and my mood started to creep back up to an acceptable level, the baby thought was no longer warm and fuzzy. It was terrifying."
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Bella went on to explain that her and Greg's thoughts about having a baby remain "vague", and the whole episode has made her seriously question whether she wants to have children.
She explained: "Do I want a baby, but my anxiety is masking that desire and convincing me it's a terrible idea? Do I fear what will happen to my brain if I get pregnant again? (Yes, yes, I definitely do.) Finally, am I willing to risk my mental health to have a baby?
"I am still terrified of the possibility that I might slide back down the treacherous slope and end up losing my independence, or being resentful about what I've lost."
Bella, who's suffered with anxiety and OCD since her 20s, added that if the pair do eventually try for another baby, she's considering what safeguards she can put in place ahead of then.
We would encourage anyone who identifies with the topics raised in this article to reach out. Organisations who can offer support include Samaritans on 116 123 (www.samaritans.org) or Mind on 0300 123 3393 (www.mind.org.uk). Readers in the US are encouraged to visit mentalhealth.gov.
Sands supports anyone affected by the death of a baby. You can contact the Sands National Helpline on 0808 164 3332, or email helpline@sands.org.uk.
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