As Gwyneth Paltrow talks sex with Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck, should you ever discuss what an ex is like as a lover?
Watch: Gwyneth Paltrow dishes on past relationships with Brad Pitt and Ben Affleck
Gwyneth Paltrow has set social media ablaze after sharing candid details of sex with her exes Brad Pit and Ben Affleck and revealing who was better in the bedroom.
The Goop entrepreneur, 50, was speaking on the latest instalment of the Call Her Daddy podcast, and was asked by journalist Alex Cooper who was better in bed.
Paltrow responded by saying it was a “really hard” decision to make before going on to share insight on both relationships.
“Brad was sort of major chemistry, major love of your life, at the time, you know,” she said.
“And Ben was like technically excellent,” she added.
“Holy f***,” host Cooper responded. “God bless J-Lo and everything she is getting over there.”
Paltrow laughed before adding: “I can’t believe my daughter is listening to this.”
Paltrow started dating Brad Pitt in 1994 after they met on the set of the film Seven. They got engaged in 1996, but split six months later in 1997.
Meanwhile, the wellness entrepreneur dated Ben Affleck on and off from 1997 to 2000. Affleck married Jennifer Garner in 2005, before splitting in 2018. He later married singer/actress Jennifer Lopez in 2022.
Paltrow has been married to Brad Falchuk since 2018 and shares two children, Apple, 18 and Moses, 17, with her ex-husband Chris Martin.
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Unsurprisingly, Paltrow's candid revelations about her ex partner's bedroom capabilities caused something of a stir online.
Some fans weren't impressed with Paltrow's openness, with many describing it as "disrespectful".
"She shouldn’t have answered," one fan commented on Instagram. "So disrespectful to speak about another woman’s husband like this."
"She totally disregarded the feelings of those guys' current partners," another agreed. "Good or bad keep it to yourself."
"Sometimes it’s really ok to say '….next question'," another fan commented.
But others saw it another way, believing there wasn't much harm to sharing the insight.
"Bro it’s not that deep," one user wrote. "Also she’s not degrading them. IT’S A SEX PODCAST. That’s why they talk about SEX."
"Calm down ladies. It’s in good fun," another agreed. "I personally enjoyed that bit of info. This is why jlo [sic] never got over him."
"Technically excellent… omg how funny. She is so funny and honest," another user added.
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Should you ever discuss sex with an ex?
We've always been told that honesty is the best policy, particularly when it comes to relationships. But does that extend to revealing details about your sexual history?
While it's fair to say your past is part of who you are, and you therefore shouldn't feel embarrassed to discuss it, is it really ok to share intimate details about sex with your exes?
Pippa Murphy, sex and relationship expert at Condoms.uk says there is a lot to weigh up before revealing the finer details of former flame sex.
"Discussing one's previous intimate life with an ex can be a sensitive topic, and whether it is considered disrespectful and a breach of confidence or a good thing depends on the context and the people involved," she explains.
"On the one hand, talking about what your sex life was like with an ex could be seen as disrespectful and a breach of their trust.
"This is because, for many people, how they are and act in the bedroom is incredibly private and intimate and they, therefore, don’t want others to know."
Similarly, she says, discussing intimate details about a previous partner can be hurtful and damaging to one's current partner, as it can create feelings of insecurity, jealousy and mistrust – especially if the sex life was described as being good.
"It can also make current partners sceptical that how they are in the bedroom will be discussed should the relationship end," Murphy adds.
"This can, therefore, break their trust too – as they feel that there’s a lack of consideration or regard for their feelings."
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Before deciding to share details about a past sexual partner Adeline Baldus, from sex toy and lingerie brand, Harmony advises considering how that knowledge going out to your social circle – or the wider public via social media – would make them feel.
"If there’s anything you wouldn’t like to be public knowledge about yourself, then don’t share it about another," she says. "Just because you are open and comfortable about your sex life doesn’t mean that someone else will be too.
"However your relationship may have ended, there’s something to be said about being respectful about their feelings moving forward."
But there are some more positive aspects to being open and honest about your sex life gone by.
"Some people feel that discussing their previous intimate life with an ex can be a good thing in the sense that it can help to gain closure and move on from the past," Murphy explains.
"It can also be a way to reflect on past relationships and learn from them. Additionally, discussing your previous intimate life with an ex can be a way to establish boundaries and expectations for future relationships, whilst leaning on your support network to share their own boundaries and expectations should they feel comfortable enough to."
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Overall, Murphy says it is important to consider the feelings and expectations of all parties involved before engaging in such discussions.
And of course it is still possible to be open-minded and sex-positive without revealing too many details about your own sex life.
"Being positive when it comes to sex simply means having nonjudgmental attitudes towards sex, and feeling secure with your own identity and with the sexual behaviours of others," Baldus explains. "You can balance oversharing and sex positivity by keeping specificities out of it, and keep judgements (if any) to yourself.
"Sex looks different to everyone, and you can be supportive of others and provide an open ear without revealing too many details about your own life between the sheets.”