Hana Kimura's heartbreaking suicide note to mother: 'I’m sorry. Thank you for giving birth to me.'

TOKYO, JAPAN - MARCH 08: Hana Kimura reacts during the Women's Pro-Wrestling Stardom - No People Gate at Korakuen Hall on March 08, 2020 in Tokyo, Japan. The event is held behind closed doors due to coronavirus outbreak. (Photo by Etsuo Hara/Getty Images)

Terrace House star and Japanese wrestler Hana Kimura’s death three days ago at the young age of 22 came as a shock to many. Investigations into her cause of death led to the discovery of a container of a chemical agent and several suicide notes in her flat in Koto Ward, Tokyo on Monday (25 May).

According to Japan News, “when ambulance staff arrived at her home, the entrance door was locked and a written notice saying ‘Toxic gas is forming’ was put on the door.” The Metropolitan Police Department of Japan assumed Kimura may have mixed chemical agents to produce a poisonous gas. Police are treating her death as a suicide.

In addition, one of the suicide notes found which is addressed to her mother read, “I’m sorry. Thank you for giving birth to me.”

Kimura’s final post on Instagram, possibly her final words to her beloved cat, said, “I love you, please live a long and joyful life. I’m sorry.”

Her last Instastory read “sayonara” which means goodbye.

Following the announcement of her demise, messages of condolences from her friends in pro wrestling and Netflix’s Terrace House: Tokyo 2019-2020, a Japanese reality television series in which she appeared, surfaced on social media sites.

Former female pro wrestler Chigusa Nagayo posted a heartbreaking tweet with a photo of the two of them, saying, “Let’s wrestle again sometime. Wait for me.”

Kimura’s rival Mayu Iwatani also tweeted photos of the Stardom Cinderella Tournament held earlier this year, exasperated that it became their last fight together. “We said to do it again,” recalled Iwatani.

Fellow Terrace House cast member Peppe uploaded a gallery of their photos with the message, “It hurts that I cannot see you again.”

Vivi from Terrace House also cried, “Please, somebody just tell me that I’m watching 13 Reasons Why, that this is just a bad dream.… I’m so sorry I couldn’t help you”

Reports suggest that what made Kimura take that fateful step may have been hate comments regarding her remarks and behaviour in Terrace House. Some of these comments include, “Everybody will be happy if you are gone quickly” and “Never appear on TV again”. Kimura was also said to have told her mother previously that she felt crushed due to postings on social media sites.

Kimura’s death has sparked an outcry against cyberbullying, where Japanese singer Kyary Pamyu Pamyu also tweeted, “People say we should just ignore slanderous comments, but it’s difficult. An entertainer is also a human being. Please don’t forget this.”

Japan’s leading politicians have since emphasised the need to deal with cyberbullying, and will be establishing a set of rules to prevent the occurrence of such incidents.

South Korea recently also experienced cases of pop stars Goo Hara and Sullie taking their lives allegedly because of cyberbullying and mental health issues, a result of what observers have said are the public pressures of celebrity .

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SINGAPORE

If you are struggling with thoughts or feelings about suicide, contact SOS on 1800 221 4444 (24hrs). If you have concerns about mental health issues, contact Emergency Helpline (IMH) on 6389 2222 (24hrs). For more information and help dealing with mental health issues, go to www.healthhub.sg/findhelp_servicesformentalhealthsupport

MALAYSIA

If you are struggling with thoughts or feelings about suicide, contact Lifeline on (+603) 4265 7995 (24hrs). If you have concerns about mental health issues, contact the Malaysian Mental Health Association on (+603) 7782 5499. For more information and help dealing with mental health issues, contact the Befrienders on (+603) 79568144 or (+603) 7956 8145; or go to www.befrienders.org.my.

PHILIPPINES

If you are struggling with thoughts or feelings about suicide, contact Lifeline on (02) 8969191 or 0917 854 9191. If you have concerns about mental health issues, contact the National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotline on 0917 899 8727 (USAP) and 989 8727 (USAP). For more information and help dealing with mental health issues, go to the National Center for Mental Health at ncmh.gov.ph