How to survive the lockdown as a couple
Handy tips you'll be thankful for
You’re well into the second week of the national lockdown. And if you, like us, are in a state where it would seem that the lockdown may extend beyond April 14, you’re in this for a long haul. Times like these tend to put some amount of stress on relationships. Flatmates, families, even couples: fact is we aren’t used to having the same set of people in our faces for extended periods of times. We spend a good part of the day at our workplace which tends to diffuse the tension and acts as a buffer because you have something to distract yourself. But here you are, in the same house, 24/7 and possibly in each other’s way. Especially for couples, this is an unusual situation that can have disastrous effects. And so it seems appropriate to ask yourself:
How to survive the lockdown as a couple
For starters, it would help to remember the reasons you got into this relationship in the first place. But, aside from that, it would be a good thing to remember that there’s a good possibility you may never be able to go back on whatever rash decision you may take during the lockdown. Accept, also, that what we’re going through at this moment is unprecedented. So cut yourself (and your partner) some slack. And so with that in mind, here are some tips on how to survive this lockdown:
1. Set your personal routines
At a time when it would seem that nothing around you seems to be in your control, you can actually settle down and list out all the things that are. Whether it’s planning meals or scheduling your workouts, doing laundry and other chores, it would help if you set a routine for this. Our brain craves for structure and so these routines tend to make you feel rooted in these uncertain times.
2. Set short-term goals
This is the time when anxiety is going to get the better of you. The two things that feed anxiety are the need to control the future and the fear of the unknown. What helps clear the clouds of anxiety, is the constant reminder to take things one day at time. Create short-term plans with your partner – whether it’s setting a fitness goal or taking up an online course together – it will help you bond over a common cause and simultaneously keep you engaged.
3. Divide up your responsibilities
Even if you may be the kind of couple that divides up your responsibilities on a regular day, you may have to redo that list. Because suddenly, you’ll realise that there are a lot more tasks to do than before. Whether it’s making sure that your child is attending all their classes from home or, really, just putting your clothes out to dry – it will help to list out each task and then divide it up. That way you know you’re not getting into each other’s hair and have your responsibilities spelt out.
4. Take some me-time
This advice holds true even in the best of times and more so right now. No matter how much in love the two of you are, there will come a time when you’re going to get irritated with the other. And for that, it’s important to physically remove yourself from the same room as your partner. Take that hour or two for yourself; spend it in the study or your children’s bedroom so you’re away from your partner. If you’re living in a 1BHK, walk away into the living room or kitchen or just request your partner to let you have the bedroom for that time. The point is you can create space for yourself no matter what your living arrangements are. Also, it is important to remember that should your partner make a similar request you should honour it too.
5. Be prepared to deal with your partner’s mood swings
And alert your partner to deal with yours too. The thing is, we’ve never faced a situation like this and so we’re bound to have some mood swings. If your partner is behaving differently, pay extra attention to that and address it. Don’t try to read too much into it and if you think you’ve triggered a mood swing, ask them directly. Nothing good has come out of letting things fester. Address them and move on.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that you’re not alone. You could well be stranded somewhere away from home in a single room or a flat with no one to share your fears and anxiety. Instead, you’re with someone you deeply care about and love. Don’t take that for granted.
