Jorginho for £24m? Declan Rice for £200m? And you call Todd Boehly ‘mad’…

Jorginho and Declan Rice Credit: Alamy
Jorginho and Declan Rice Credit: Alamy

Chelsea spending a lot of money has unsettled some who would like to ignore that Enzo Fernandez was brilliant at the World Cup.


Leader of the gang
If you were naively thinking that Manchester United selling no players during the January transfer window meant that the rich vein of content that is ‘Manchester United exodus/cull’ was cut off at the knees then you are a damned fool.

For this is how you sell the loan exit of defender Axel Tuanzebe, who last played for Manchester United in May 2021:

‘Late Man Utd deal goes through to give Ten Hag big decision after never seeing star play’ – Teamtalk.

‘Harry Maguire believes Man Utd lost another dressing room “leader” on deadline day’ – Mirror.

Mediawatch is pretty sure that Erik ten Hag has seen Tuanzebe play in training and has probably made up his mind that a Championship-level defender has no future at a club aiming to challenge for the Premier League title within the next five years.

And we have zero evidence that Maguire believes that Man Utd lost a ‘leader’ on deadline day. What we do know is that over two years, two Manchester United managers and one serious injury ago, Maguire described Tuanzebe as a “leader”, back when both looked like they might have a bright future at the club.

Is this relevant now? Is it f***.

Do they care as long as the clicks come rolling in? Do they balls.


Emerging markets

‘Emerges’? He said it during the World Cup. About two months before Chelsea ‘worked tirelessly’ to bring in Enzo Fernandez for a British record fee that was more than his release clause.


A fool and his money are soon parted
MADNESS OF KING BOEHLY is the headline on the top of the MailOnline football homepage. Does Boehly sound like George? Is he even a king? What the actual f***?

Never mind, because they are warming to a theme and that theme is madness.

‘Todd Boehly bought big, sold cheap and strengthened Chelsea’s rivals in January. His spending frenzy raises SO many questions about where football goes from here. You fear for Graham Potter’

Rivals? Are they talking about Arsenal? The same Arsenal who are 21 points ahead? That Arsenal?

One of the common conclusions on Wednesday, as the dust settled on Chelsea’s spending frenzy which followed last summer’s outlay of more than £250m, was that the club had bought big and sold cheap.’

They only sold one player and that was a 31-year-old who was out of contract in the summer. How much do you think they could have got for Jorginho?

‘Arsenal were on the hook – desperate for a player of his calibre, given Mohamed Elneny’s extended injury lay-off – and at the very least, Chelsea could have weakened their rival by refusing to trade at anything less than double the price. But off across London this proven Premier League player went.’

Again…not rivals. And Arsenal would have simply not bought at double the price and Chelsea would have lost an unwanted player for nothing in the summer. And then you would have condemned them for that waste. You can question some of the fees they have paid, but getting £12m from non-rivals for a player who was surplus to requirements was objectively decent business.

‘Madness. A metaphor for Chelsea’s lack of grasp on the market or their own priorities. They have spent £88m to buy Mykhailo Mudryk, who has appeared only 44 times for Shakhtar Donetsk, yet are still to resolve N’Golo Kante’s contract situation.’

Kante has not kicked a ball in anger since August. Should he really be their priority?

And they haven’t f***ing spent £88m to buy Mudryk; they have spent £62m. If he ends up costing £88m then he will have been a success. Will you be revisiting this notion of ‘madness’ if that turns out to be the case?

‘If Fernandez is worth £107m, then what on earth is the value of Declan Rice? £200m? Chelsea’s way of accounting for it all certainly will not be the same for whoever is making that decision. The winter’s big spenders have made sure of that.’

First, let’s take a minute for the idea that West Ham captain Declan Rice is worth double the price of World Cup winner and Young Player of the Tournament Enzo Fernandez.

(Though oddly, those achievements are not mentioned by Ian Ladyman and Simon Jones, who instead describe Fernandez as someone ‘who has played just 29 times for Benfica’ as if that whole World Cup nonsense never happened.)

And that’s without taking into account the fact that Rice will have just a year left on his contract this summer. A sensible Rice price this summer would be somewhere in the region. What would truly be madness is anybody paying more than £100m.


Where will this madness end?
And Chelsea are not done there…

‘Chelsea close to completing yet another deal after £323m January transfer spree’ – Mirror.

They have not spent £323m in January – the total is actually south of £300m – but Mediawatch is sick of fighting that particular battle, so we will move on to ‘yet another deal’. But surely the window is closed?!

‘Chelsea are close to reaching an agreement with Thiago Silva over a new contract, the defender has revealed.’

Oh do f*** off.

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