"I don't know why my nervous breakdown happened at the end of the lockdown," the 36-year-old TV personality told Extra. "I made it all the way through, everything was great and my life was perfect. I’m that girl that when everything is going great, I need to f**k it up a little and make everything a little bit worse in my life."
Osbourne said that trouble started when she decided she could be like a "normal person," and try drinking casually.
"I am an addict and had thought that I had enough time under my belt and I could drink like a normal person," she said. "It turns out I cannot and I will never be normal. I don’t know why I even tried it. It's not for me and it took me a matter of days and I was like done, not doing this."
Part of it was that she felt she had so many good things going on — in her career, with her 90-pound weight loss and in her love life with boyfriend Erik Bragg. She felt she would be able to handle drinking too.
"Everything in my life is so great and I'm like 'I'm not an addict anymore,'" she recalled thinking. "On top of that pandemic fever... It all just got too much."
Osbourne shared her struggles with her social media following right after it happened. She said it was important to do so as part of "owning" her journey.
“This is something I am going to battle for the rest of my life," she said. "It’s never going to be easy. Through being accountable and owning your own journey and sharing what you can go though you can help other people. That's why I came clean, I could have sat here and nobody would know.”
Osbourne also appeared on the Everything Iconic With Danny Pellegrino podcast and said her sobriety lapse left her feeling shame.
"It's not nerves. You get shame. I feel so much shame," Osbourne said. "It happened. I'm owning it and I'm moving on because I'm human." (She said she'll speak more about her relapse on the premiere of her new podcast, The Kelly Osbourne and Jeff Beacher Show, on May 1.)
Earlier this month, Osbourne shared that she had hit a bump in the road with her sobriety. After finding fame as a child on her family's reality show, The Osbournes, she's been candid about her struggles, including how she started experimenting with drugs and alcohol before she was a teenager. She got sober in August 2017.
Addiction runs in the Osbourne family. Her dad, Black Sabbath's Ozzy Osbourne, battled alcoholism and drug addiction since the 1970s and has been sober for about seven years. her brother Jack recently marked 18 years of sobriety.
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