Desperately avoiding plans previously made has become a bit of a self-inflicted cat and mouse game for us, but one 11-year-old Selangor girl has taken it to the next level after claiming that she was kidnapped, just so she wouldn’t have to attend Arabic classes at a Kapar religious school.
Earlier this week, the unnamed girl told her mother that she had been abducted by eight men, driving in two separate vans.
Alright kiddo, look – while we don’t condone staging your own kidnapping to get out of something, we’re gonna offer you a little #ProTip when it comes to shirking responsibilities: Don’t over-egg the pudding. One car? Fair enough. Two cars? Not even Patty Hearst had that coordinated of a snatching.
Her ordeal was chronicled on social media, where the girl’s handwritten note over the “kidnapping” claimed that two men wearing masks tried to forcibly take her from outside the school, with an elderly man coming to the rescue.
#ProTip number two: Kiddo, ain’t no elderly man able to fight off grown kidnappers, unless that elderly man is Sylvester Stallone, or any given member of The Expendables.
Following her tall tale, the girl’s mother headed to her local Klang Utara police station to file a report; however, just six days later officers told the woman that her daughter’s story of woe was untrue.
After further questioning, the young girl admitted she had, in fact, made the whole thing up in order to get out of her pesky Arabic class, which was an additional subject at her school.
Many shared the erroneous tale on social media, leading police to remind netizens to think before spreading fake news, which is still illegal under Section 223 of the Communications and Multimedia Act.
Which brings us to to the sagest advice we were ever given, by our dear Canadian friend Joyce Kim back in 2003: When in doubt and you don’t want to go out, just tell people you have diarrhea. Everyone pretty much stops the conversation once you tell them that, and you don’t inadvertently end up involving the 5-0.
This article, Kid-NOPE! 11-year-old girl admits she faked own abduction to get out of Arabic class, originally appeared on Coconuts, Asia's leading alternative media company. Want more Coconuts? Sign up for our newsletters!