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A letter to… my daughter’s abductor

Illustration of woman
Illustration of woman

Let me tell you about my little girl. She was 19 then. She’d just left college and found a job, and she loved it. She was lively, fun-loving, compassionate and full of life. I was so proud of the woman she had become. But that was before.

I often wonder what went through your mind that evening. What were you thinking? What had you planned? I know you spent the day looking at online porn, but nothing other than that. What had gone through my mind? Nothing much. Everything was normal – I was thinking about dinner, work, the weekend.

When she left that evening, I didn’t realise it would be the last time I saw that version of my beautiful daughter. I didn’t know you would be watching her, would follow her, throw her into your car and sexually assault her. Three times she fought and got away from you, twice you caught her again. The third time she found help from a taxi driver.

After that, she couldn’t sleep without a light on and had terrible nightmares, waking up screaming. She could no longer be left alone. She couldn’t leave the house. She lost her job and became depressed and anxious.

When she was fighting you off, she was fighting for her life. She thought you were going to kill her. What more would you have done had she not got away? That question haunts us both.

It took two years for her to be diagnosed with PTSD and get specialist help. Even with that, she never leaves the house alone and has been unable to work.

You pleaded guilty. You had to – the attack was caught on CCTV. A guilty plea was the only chance you had of reducing your sentence. There was no remorse, no apology. And because of a clerical error, you received 18 months instead of the recommended four and a half years. Because of your guilty plea and the time you served on remand, you were released after four months.

You are free, but my daughter isn’t. The impact you have had on my family is immense. I was unable to work for months which, as a single parent, was catastrophic. Our finances have plummeted, our emotional wellbeing has suffered. My daughter watched her friends leave for university, knowing she wouldn’t be able to join them. She will never be the girl she used to be. You stole the person she once was – and I will always hate you for that.