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LGBT folks are ‘One of Us’: alternative SG50 community project

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Dr Khoo Hoon Eng, an associate professor at a local university and co-founder of SAFE Singapore, shared her story of how she accepted her two gay sons in a community project titled ‘One of Us’. (Photo: One of Us Facebook page)

By: Bryan Kwa


“While I never doubted my love for my sons, I did have much to learn,” said Dr Khoo Hoon Eng, 64, a mother to two gay sons, in a Facebook post titled ‘My Two Young Men’ that has garnered 127 ‘likes’ and has been shared 93 times as of press time.

The associate professor at a local university shared her story as part of new community project ‘One of Us’, which is supported by Project 50/100 that aims to provide an alternative lens to Singapore’s golden jubilee narrative. ‘One of Us’ aims to represent true faces of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) allies by inviting them to share stories of how they have supported their LGBT friends and family.

Dr Khoo shared how she reacted in “disbelief” and “offered a denial response” when her older son came out to her at 15.

"I asked him how he knew he is gay. In reply, he asked me how I knew I am straight. That made me think very hard about my own attraction to the opposite sex and how I knew from a relatively young age. I realized then that he probably already knew too about his attraction to people of the same sex when he was quite young,” she recounted.

After her second son told her he is also gay, she realized that she had to educate herself more about homosexuality. She shared, "I saw that one way for them to overcome societal prejudices would be for them to see that I was willing to be openly supportive of them… so I started reading books written by parents of gay and lesbian children and the various ways they supported their children.”

The project’s premise is that whether one wears white or pink, we all wear red on National Day and bleed red every day.

“For each person in these stories, the LGBT individual is not apart, and that though different in some aspects from a straight person, this person is ‘One of Us’”, reads the project’s description.

Focusing more on the LGBT support system

Discussions about LGBT issues are controversial in Singapore. In a recent television interview with Chairman of the Lee Kuan Yew Centre for Innovative Cities Ambassador Chan Heng Chee, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong highlighted LGBT issues as one of the ‘fault lines’ confronting society today.

In a survey on social morality released by the Institute of Policy Studies last year, 78.2 per cent of respondents said sexual relations between two adults of the same sex was wrong, and 72.9 per cent did not agree with gay marriage. ‘Gross indecency’ between men remains illegal in Singapore under Section 377A of the Penal Code, although the government says the law is not actively enforced.

The project is initiated by LGBT-friendly groups MOVE Community and SAFE Singapore. Dr Khoo, who is also co-founder of SAFE Singapore said that the group is supporting the project “as we believe that it is through acceptance, support and love of our family and friends, whether gay or straight or shades in between, that we mature as a strong community and nation.”

Co-founder of MOVE Community Mr Andrew Chan is hopeful the stories from non-LGBT persons will reach out to those outside the LGBT community “especially those who are not aware or do not understand much about LGBT persons”.

Project 50/100 steering committee member Mr Tan Tarn How believes the ‘One of Us’ project showcases a Singapore that many do not often see or hear: not just the voices of LGBT people, but those of their friends and family.

“(The project showcases) what (the allies’) feelings were when they found out and how was the journey of accepting the person he or she loves for what he or she is. That is in complete alignment to the objective of our project – which is to hear the voices we don’t usually hear with coming out stories.”

Besides Dr Khoo, a communications consultant and a graduate student are coming forward to share their story as well.

While the former, 23-year-old Wendy Lim, shared how she transformed from thinking being LGBT was an “illness” to working with LGBT colleagues after understanding their struggles, the latter, 24-year-old Benjamin Goh, said he grew out of his homophobia when a gay friend came out to him.

“I soon realized that there were many members of the LGBT community in my social circle, many of whom have been alternating between personalities just to survive, and only come out to those with whom they feel safe,” Goh shared.

Organisers hope these “moving portraits will serve to make it easier for LGBT people as well as their family, friends and colleagues to find resolution and affirmation in their lives”.

Those who would like to share their story may do so online. Organisers said to Yahoo Singapore that they welcome suggestions and collaborations to make the project “as complete and as meaningful as possible”.