Lord of the Dance, master of giggles

For those who, like Prince Andrew, don’t quite know what to do with the embarrassment of a big birthday in latter years (G2, 27 February), may I suggest my model? Just go and climb a mountain and, with luck, nobody but your significant other will want to join you. Ben Starav for 60, the Auch Five for 70 and A’Mhaighdean for 80 suited very well, with minimal drinks bills on all occasions.
Margaret Squires
St Andrews, Fife

• I find it ironic that Coalbrookdale, the very place where Abraham Darby helped kickstart the industrial revolution (and probably the climate emergency we now face), and Ironbridge, the glorious testament to his achievements, are two of the places currently facing the worst of the flooding (Report, 28 February).
Colin Billett
Bewdley, Worcestershire

• Ashford, a town of 75,000 with 28 hairdressers (Shortcuts, G2, 26 February); is that all? A walk down our high street reveals that Burnham (population 11,630) has no fewer than 13, and this doesn’t include tonsorially challenged outlying districts such as Lent Rise or Hitcham.
Gerwyn Moseley
Burnham, Buckinghamshire

• My grandparents, 95 and 90, make marmalade every year (Letters, 28 February) but it’s Aussie cumquat marmalade. My grandfather, 95, still doesn’t need glasses either, so there has to be something magical in those little orange fruits. He also keeps buying good wine and saying: “We’ll put that down for a year or two.”
Rebecca Wickham
Rozelle, Sydney, Australia

• Many years ago my grandson came home from school (Letters, 26 February) very keen to sing a new hymn he’d learned: “Dance, then, wherever you may be, I am the lord of the dark settee.” Still makes us smile.
Sally Rollings
Worthing, West Sussex

• Join the debate – email guardian.letters@theguardian.com

• Read more Guardian letters – click here to visit gu.com/letters

• Do you have a photo you’d like to share with Guardian readers? Click here to upload it and we’ll publish the best submissions in the letters spread of our print edition