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How we met: ‘He said: “Well, we might as well get married.” It was so romantic’

How we met: ‘He said: “Well, we might as well get married.” It was so romantic’. Jane McCauley and Simon Pavitt, both 61, met as campaigners in Sheffield in 1987. They now live in Vancouver, Canada.

In 1987, Jane McCauley and Simon Pavitt were members of the Troops Out Movement, an organisation dedicated to getting the British army out of Northern Ireland. “It was a controversial organisation to some,” says Jane. “But we felt strongly that the Irish people had been treated badly by the English.”

At the meetings, members would show videos. “One day, Simon brought in a VHS tape and told me to be careful because it was on the floor,” says Jane. “I shouted at him: ‘I’m not that big – I’m not going to stamp on it!’” Simon wasn’t impressed. “I thought: ‘God, I’m not speaking to her again.’”

Although they were both living in Sheffield, their group was tasked with helping to organise a trip to Northern Ireland for delegates in 1989. “It was to show people what was really going on, first-hand,” says Jane. “It was quite a dangerous operation, and the police were monitoring us closely.”

It meant Jane and Simon had to work more closely together, and put aside their differences. “I started to realise she wasn’t this big loudmouth,” laughs Simon. “There was more to her than that.”

But it wasn’t until 1991 that their relationship became romantic. “I’d always thought he was quite good-looking, but a bit quiet. Working together meant we got to know each other better,” says Jane. They got together at a party in July, but Simon was due to go travelling around Africa that winter. In November, he invited Jane for a drink before he left. “I wrote him a letter every week while he was away, but he didn’t get them all on time. He ended up with this big bag of letters.” Simon was convinced she was writing to ditch him.

When he returned from the trip in May 1992, Jane moved into his house with her son, Sam, from a previous relationship. “We used to love going out to pubs and concerts together,” says Simon. Jane adds: “He was a bit of a punk rocker, and introduced me to all these different bands.”

They had two sons: Josh in 1994, and Rowan in 1997.

The couple say they are “in awe” of each other’s personality traits. “Jane is the life and soul of every party,” says Simon. “She makes everyone feel part of the group, and she is so sociable.” She describes him as calm and intelligent. “He is so well informed. He always knows what’s going on politically, anywhere in the world.”

In 2003, the couple began to feel exhausted by the political situation in the UK. “We had both marched against the Iraq war,” says Simon. “It made no difference, and I think we were feeling quite disillusioned.” So they began considering their options. “Simon had always wanted to move to Canada,” says Jane. “We knew it might take a long time before we could go because of the processes involved.”

The plans to emigrate also prompted their decision to get married that year. “Simon has always said no to marriage because of his political ideals,” says Jane. “But we’d been talking about what would happen to the children if anything ever happened to me in Canada.” Because of different legal rules, Simon would not have had automatic right to custody. “In the end, he said: ‘Well, we might as well get married then.’ It was so romantic,” she laughs. On the big day, Jane says, she was “really nervous”. When it was time to say their vows, Simon grabbed her hand and reassured her. “He was telling me I was going to be OK.”

In 2007, they emigrated to Vancouver, where they both found jobs in IT. They love driving through the countryside and strolling around. “We’re not very outdoorsy,” says Jane. “But we do love wandering around the parks together.”

They will reassess their situation in a few years. “We may move when we retire, depending on what the boys are doing,” says Simon. “But it’s beautiful in Canada. You can always see the snow on the mountains. We’re very happy here.”

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