We all want to be there for our kid’s first — and be able to make decisions about the ones we can. From their first steps to first sleepover, these are important milestones and yes, we want to have some say in their first haircut too. But for one mum, her mother-in-law completely crossed the line and snuck behind her back to take her baby girl for a “trim.” Despite mum specifically stating they were going to wait to touch her locks, this MIL had her granddaughter’s hair secretly chopped off — and then tried to cover it up.
The mum shared that her baby girl grew sweet blonde curls, but her MIL didn’t love them the way she did.
In a thread on Mumsnet, the mum started off by explaining that after six weeks, her daughter’s newborn hair fell out and “it grew back thick, incredibly curly and a beautiful blonde color,” she wrote. “I was in love with her hair.”
The mum and her husband had agreed that it was best to let their daughter’s hair grow for a while. But her husband’s stepmother didn’t agree and “suggested” that they get the girl’s hair trimmed “to help it grow faster.”
Like many parents, they were smitten with their baby’s hair and decided against cutting her curls until she got older.
At first, she didn’t think much of it when grandma took her baby out for the day and brought her back wearing a new hat.
The mum wasn’t thinking at all about the hair conversation when her MIL returned her daughter wearing a beanie after a day together. “I asked [her] where the hat came from and she looked sheepish and said she bought it as a gift,” she wrote. “Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and started chatting about how cold it Is (assuming that’s why she bought the hat).”
But then grandma quickly split — before her daughter-in-law had a chance to take of her girl’s warm outerwear. “I finally got to pulling her hat off and I was gobsmacked. All her curly hair is GONE! It wasn’t a trim, all her hair is completely gone,” she wrote.
The mum said that she knows it might seem silly, but she’s insanely angry that her MIL went directly against her wishes. And to make matters worse, mum asked her MIL if she kept a lock of her daughter’s beautiful hair that she could have. Her mother-in-law said yes, but then SHE REFUSED TO GIVE IT TO HER.
“That added fuel to the fire and I told her she’s completely out of order and she best avoid me for a while,” she wrote. “Thinking about it I’m probably completely overreacting, I’m just so mad!”
Online, other people were in agreement. This MIL was nuts.
One person commented that her MIL’s betrayal was outrageous.
And another person wrote that her MIL was trying to mark her territory.
Later in the thread, the mum clarified that she wasn’t even exaggerating when she said that ALL of her daughter’s hair was gone. “[My daughter] had masses of curls at the back of her head, the top was short because it grew slower. I think the hairdresser might have tried to make it matching lengths,” she described. But really, no matter how short her MIL cut her daughter’s hair, it was still completely wrong of her to do it. “I would still be fuming if it was a trim,” she wrote.
And most importantly, many felt strongly that mum should never leave her MIL and child alone again.
In an update to her post, the mum wrote that after reading everyone’s reactions, “I’m so glad I’m not overreacting.” She wrote that her husband is on her side and is not talking to his stepmother. But still, the deceit stings. “I feel so robbed!” she wrote. “I wasn’t there for it, I didn’t consent to it, and she’s not allowing me to have a curl. Who does she think she is?”
The mum also revealed that this wasn’t the first time that her MIL has undermined her parenting and “she does come across as quite judgy.” But for now, the mum wrote that she doesn’t feel 100 percent comfortable leaving her daughter with her grandmother. “Despite being a parent herself, she seems clueless on how to parent,” the mum finished.