It's Pete Davidson's turn to get some creative material out of his split from Ariana Grande.
In his new Netflix comedy special Pete Davidson: Alive From New York, the SNL star tackled his four month engagement to Grande and the aftermath of their very public breakup. The comedian got on the topic of his ex after joking about the controversy when he mocked wounded veteran, Dan Crenshaw.
"The only thing I did do, which I am guilty of and I apologize for, is I did make that guy famous and a household name for no reason," Davidson said of Crenshaw. "I did what, like, Ariana Grande did for me."
Davidson continued, "I wasn't gonna do jokes about this, but then my buddy told me, he's like, 'Yo — I recently heard that Ariana said she had no idea who you were and she just dated you as a distraction.' So, now I just think it's fair game."
"Don't applaud," he instructed the audience. "This isn't, like, a competition. She has her songs and stuff, and this is what I have, OK?"
Davidson added, "And you’re like, 'Pete, this isn’t fair. You're airing out dirty laundry. How could you do that? Where did she say this stuff? To her friends, in the confidence of her own home?' No! She said it on the cover of Vogue magazine."
The 26-year-old comedian is referring to Grande's interview over the summer in which she called her former fiancé "an amazing distraction."
"It was frivolous and fun and insane and highly unrealistic, and I loved him, and I didn’t know him," Grande, 26, told Vogue. "I’m like an infant when it comes to real life and this old soul, been-around-the-block-a-million-times artist. I still don’t trust myself with the life stuff."
"Can you imagine if I did that?" Davidson quipped. "My career would be over tomorrow if I spray-painted myself brown and hopped on the cover of Vogue magazine and just started s******* on my ex. Can you imagine? No, don't clap! ... I like the giggles, it's just jokes."
"Can you imagine if I did that s***?" he said again. "If I was just like, 'Yeah, I was just f****** her because I was bored, and then Fortnite came out,' it would be insane."
Davidson explained that Grande suffered no repercussions after their breakup in October 2018.
"No! She won Billboard's Women of the Year and I got called 'butthole eyes' by BarstoolSports.com," Davidson laughed. "So, sometimes life is a little unfair."
"Again, these are jokes," he reiterated. "My biggest fear is I'm gonna get shot in the back of the head by a 9-year-old with a ponytail and the last thing I’m gonna hear is, '#cancelled.'"
The actor had positive things to say about his former fiancée, too, calling her "smart" and "a really powerful woman, that Ariana."
"She’s a very, very powerful woman and she's very smart," he said. "You gotta be to be able to ruin Starbucks for a person."
(Aside from her last name being a popular drink size, Grande also collaborated with Starbucks for its Cloud Macchiato drink last year.)
"A lot of people ask me all the time, 'What was that [like],’" Davidson recalled. "It's like any other breakup, except everybody sees it."
"I kind of knew what I was getting into, but not really. I didn't know about the picture thing," he continued, referring to the paparazzi. "If I knew about that I would've seen a dermatologist before I started dating her."
Davidson added, "It's like any other breakup. You have your boys over, they all lie to you. Like, 'No problem bro, no one even knows who she is. It's all good bro, it's all good, better off, no problem.'"
"Then that song came out," Davidson said of "Thank U, Next." He explained his "boys" all liked the song.
"'S*** is very catchy, you're going to have a rough eight months, I'm sorry,'" he recalled. "My grandpa said, 'It's a slap... it's a good song.'"
Prior to Tuesday's release of his special, Davidson got serious when reflecting about his relationship with Grande. He told Charlamagne Tha God he knew their engagement was over after the unexpected death of Mac Miller. Grande dated the rapper for two years before getting together with Davidson. Miller died of an accidental overdose of fentanyl, cocaine and alcohol in September 2018.
"I totally got it," Davidson said. “She would even tell you this. I was like, 'Listen, I get it, do whatever you’ve got to do, I’ll be here.' I think I said, 'I’ll be here until you don’t want me to be here.'"
"I pretty much knew it was around over after that," he continued. "That was really horrible, and I can’t imagine what that s*** is like. All I do know is that she really loved the s*** out of him, and she wasn’t putting on a show or anything. That was f***** up. Prayers to his family and all of his friends."
Davidson previously said he wishes the best for Grande. "I hope she's well," he told Paper magazine in November. "I hope she's very happy."
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