I'm secretly in love with my best friend's husband

*Leah, 33, has developed romantic feelings for *Lee, 34, her best friend *Michelle's husband. Despite her inner turmoil, Leah has resolved to keep her emotions under wraps, recognising that confessing her love to Lee could jeopardise her friendship with Michelle, 29. Leah discusses her feelings and shares how she has managed her emotions when she’s around them.

I never expected to find myself in such a complicated emotional landscape. My best friend, Michelle – my ride-or-die – has been my rock through thick and thin for the past seven years. We’ve navigated breakups, celebrations, and everything in between. So, it’s painful to admit that I’ve developed romantic feelings for her husband, Lee.

I met Lee in 2020 when Mich introduced us after pandemic restrictions eased in Singapore. At the time, Mich had been dating him for a few months while I was trying to escape a toxic relationship. I'd heard green flag stories about him and was eager to see for myself. That first night together, he made a lasting impression – buying drinks, engaging in fun conversations, and even sending Mich and me home in a Grab. It was clear why Mich was smitten.

As the months rolled on, the three of us formed a tight-knit trio. I often found myself crashing their date nights, but they made me feel completely welcome. Lee would cook for us, always considering my dietary preferences, and whenever I was struggling, he and Mich were there to comfort me. After my breakup in early 2021, they helped me move into a new place, with Lee even negotiating with my ex to let me keep a TV. It was moments like these that made me realise how special Lee was – not just to Mich, but to me as well.

As time went by, I remained single, but my standards skyrocketed, thanks to the way Lee treated Mich. One time on Valentine’s Day, they surprised me with flowers and ice cream, turning a day meant for couples into a celebration of our friendship. Despite our closeness, I was determined to never hang out with Lee alone.

Fast forward to their wedding later, I had the honour of being the maid of honour. It was a beautiful ceremony, with only a few close friends and family members, filled with love and joy. It was one of the most amazing weddings I’ve ever been to. It felt like I was in a place full of love and true acceptance. It solidified my own longing for that kind of connection.

Things took a turn when I asked Mich if I could talk to Lee about upgrading my home audio system. She readily agreed.

And I believe that was how it started.

What began as a casual tech conversation soon blossomed into something more. When I first told Lee about my new purchase and what I wanted to do, he was super excited and offered to go shopping together. We met at a department store and explained how he was going to get a series of small computers to control the various things in the house. I found it really cute how excited he was to tell me about the devices and explain how they work. Having seen him with Mich, I knew he was patient. I never thought I could be attracted to that. But I guess, once you’ve spent enough time with someone, it might surprise you how you might feel about them.

He also came over to assemble everything and make sure they were working properly. I believe this whole experience has made me realised just how attractive Lee is. I mean, I did already have a good impression of him so this wasn’t much of a stretch, right?

From then on, I saw Lee in a different light. Every small gesture he showed toward Mich – like brushing her hair behind her ear or running errands for her – made my heart flutter. While I felt this growing attraction, I wasn’t jealous of their relationship; I was genuinely happy for them. I never confided my feelings to anyone, choosing to maintain a facade of being focused on finding my own love. Little did they know, the person I truly wanted was right there, married to my best friend. So, no matter what happens, no matter how much I feel for him, I’ll never confess my feelings, and Mich can never know that I feel this way about her husband.

To cope with my feelings, I decided to spend more time with them. Seeing them together reminded me that Lee was in love with Mich, allowing me to manage my emotions better. But with time, I began to worry. My feelings for Lee seemed unshakeable, and I feared I might never find someone who matched up to him.

Then came the news that they were expecting their first child. The announcement hit me like a wave – bittersweet and hollow. Michelle, my partner-in-crime, was embarking on a journey that I wouldn’t share. It was a painful reminder that my fantasies about Lee would need to fade. As their lives transformed into a whirlwind of sleepless nights and new responsibilities, I realised that I might need to step back.

Despite the heartache, I don’t regret falling for Lee. Emotions can’t be controlled, and all I can do now is channel that love into being the best godmother to their child. My love for Lee may never bloom into a romance, but it will always remain – a cherished feeling, a secret quiet song playing in the corners of my heart, reminding me of the bittersweet reality of loving someone who can never love you back.