Ronaldo FINALLY breaks his Man Utd silence and Kane’s £535k message creates confusion

Portugal forward Cristiano Ronaldo Credit: Alamy
Portugal forward Cristiano Ronaldo Credit: Alamy

Cristiano Ronaldo has FINALLY spoken out about his situation with Man Utd, while there is debate over the message Harry Kane has sent to FIFA.


Silence treatment
Even in the intense grip of a mid-season World Cup, the Man Utd click is king. So when Cristiano Ronaldo scored for Portugal against Ghana, the usual Content Creators would have been rubbing their hands with glee.

But this is utter nonsense from The Sun website – an evergreen statement if ever there was one.

‘Ronaldo breaks silence on Man Utd axing after goal in Portugal’s World Cup win,’ is their headline to a story in which said silence-breaking is Ronaldo simply saying: “This chapter is closed”.

Hardly. Not if the British tabloids have anything to do with it.

Depressingly anodyne as that silence-breaking statement is, it’s absolutely very obviously not the first thing Ronaldo has said since his ‘Man Utd axing’. Not even vaguely. And everyone knows it. He published his thoughts on the matter just two hours and 48 minutes after the Premier League club released their official statement confirming his mutually agreed departure. He can’t have broken his silence on Tuesday evening and Thursday night.


Girl, put your records on
“We know the first match is crucial. But also a world record. The first player to score in five World Cups. That makes me proud,” Ronaldo also said while breaking his silence.

Hopefully he’ll still be proud when he learns of Marta and Christine Sinclair’s achievements. First *man*, big guy.


Chat sh*t, get banged
Another Sun website story on Ronaldo – for this is a well that never truly runs dry – spouts this complete b*llocks:

‘It capped Ronaldo’s first performance since he sent the footballing world potty – and sparked his own acrimonious split from Manchester United – with his internet-breaking chat with Piers Morgan on Talk TV.’

Oh aye, those servers pretty much had to be reinforced. Only 11 billion or so more views to catch up with Baby Shark.

Just because Piers Morgan wants everyone to believe it was the biggest interview ever does not make it even vaguely so.


By the book
‘Cristiano Ronaldo made history again on Thursday night then declared he has closed the book forever on his relationship with Manchester United’ – Dominic King, Daily Mail.

Think Manchester United very much declared that themselves two days prior.


Subtle bus
All eyes will be on England against the United States on Friday evening – and not just whether Gareth Southgate’s side can maintain their perfect World Cup start.

Their ongoing reaction to the OneLove armband situation is of great interest to many. But it turns out that Harry Kane has actually already made his own personal protest.

Over to you, Tom Blow of the Daily Mirror website:

‘Harry Kane’s not-so-subtle £535k message to FIFA amid World Cup 2022 armband row’

That ‘not-so-subtle gesture’ claim is repeated in the opening paragraph. Can a ‘£535k message’ simultaneously be ‘not-so-subtle’?

Let’s get to the actual crux of Kane’s principled stance.

‘Kane instead appeared to protest against FIFA’s decision to quash the OneLove campaign by wearing a Rolex Daytona watch worth £535,000.’

Right on, brother. Stick it to the man.

‘Kane’s watch went under the radar until an Instagram account called ‘Insane Luxury Life’ posted an image of the Tottenham forward wearing it prior to the Iran game.’

It’s pretty impressive to send a ‘not-so-subtle message’ which goes ‘under the radar’ for about four days until some random on social media posts about it.


Predictably enough…

‘Harry’s not so subtle dig at FIFA: Captain Kane wore £520,000 RAINBOW Rolex when he arrived for England’s World Cup win over Iran after being banned from donning OneLove armband’ –  Stewart Carr, Adam Shergold and Sami Mokbel of the MailOnline, because this really is 2022’s Watergate.

Their story contains the following line:

‘Kane’s rainbow Rolex – potentially a reference to the rainbow Pride flag – could be interpreted as a similar symbolic protest.’

Because again, the best ‘not-so-subtle’ messages involve potential references which have to be interpreted and inferred by writers desperate to paint someone as a social champion and hero of the people.

It says it all when The Sun website are the arbiters of sensibility with this headline:

‘Kane’s subtle Qatar protest as star wore £535,000 Rainbow Rolex before World Cup win after OneLove armband banned’

Quite how the exact same thing can be described as both ‘subtle’ and ‘not-so-subtle’ by different outlets is a mystery.


Steal from the Rich
On the subject of Kane, Phil Thomas of The Sun writes the following in his match report on Brazil 2-0 Serbia, about Richarlison’s ‘dream’ of becoming the World Cup’s top goalscorer:

‘What a contrast, incidentally, to the two opening fixtures for the two Spurs pals.

‘Kane, for all England struck six in whipping Iran, drew a blank and ended up needing a scan that gave the whole country a scare.

‘Richarlison gave a masterclass in both old school poaching and flying finishing for the cameras with his Serbia-stuffing pair as well.’

A slight spanner in the works: Kane was bloody great, ended with two assists and will be fit to face the United States.


Blind Ali
‘Liverpool star Alisson looks like a new man with amazing moustache as he stars for Brazil at World Cup 2022 vs Serbia’ – The Sun website.

He looks like very much exactly the same man, just with a moustache instead of a beard.


Banned of brothers
And The Sun website can frankly f*** off for this:

‘Gianni Infantino appears to SUPPORT OneLove armband in German minister pic after banning World Cup stars from wearing it’

B*llocks headline.

‘FIFA president Gianni Infantino has been pictured appearing to SUPPORT the OneLove armband, despite banning its use during the World Cup.’

B*llocks first paragraph.

‘A collection of seven competing nations were set to wear the armband in a show of support for LGBTQ+ community, but Fifa warned stars they may be booked if they wear it.

‘However, while next to German minister Nancy Faeser, Infantino was snapped posing with a smile on his face and pointing at the armband.’

B*llocks second and third paragraphs. That’s b*llocks bingo.

He obviously doesn’t support it. Why even pretend he does, just because he’s pointing at someone wearing it? It’s disingenuous, unhelpful nonsense.


Ask a stupid question…
‘BBC viewers say same thing as Wales v Iran goes off air & did they predict result?’ – The Sun website.

‘No’ – Mediawatch.

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