Marriages come with their own set of insecurities and doubts. Earlier in India, the family and relatives used to set up arranged marriages, and they would know about the prospective match. However, in today’s scenario, where most of the matches are found online and through bureaus, you do not really know the person.
He/she might be lying about their financial position or in the worst cases, might even be already married. Even the cases, where a person’s sexual orientation has led to a divorce, are no longer uncommon. So, in order to escape such horrors after marriage, family members must do a proper background research. Here are some ways to obtain information about the potential match.
Hire a detective agency
No, this is no more a profession restricted to films and serials! It's happening and it's very much real. There are around 15,000 detective agencies across India, conducting an average of 50-100 investigations in a month. There has been a huge rise in pre-matrimonial investigations to check a suitor's background, because more people are meeting online and families are less involved.
The owner of Veteran Investigations, a Mumbai-based agency, which has been carrying out "pre-matrimonial" checks for more than 40 years, says, “The vast majority of enquiries come from parents who want to assess the character of their future son-in-law.” From personal habits to business assets, from character to past-flings, everything is carefully scrutinised by the detectives. Indeed, this is the best and the most reliable way to do your background research.
Some other options are:
Use social networking channels to your benefit. People share their images, videos and thoughts on popular social media websites. You can extract a lot of details from this treasure chest of information. You can take a look at their friend list on Facebook and see if you have any mutual friends. These mutual friends can become your source of obtaining reliable information. If any images and other details are open for public viewing then you can make the most of it. By viewing their pictures, you can get a vague idea of the person’s hobbies and lifestyle. This helps you understand your compatibility with the other person.
To check a person's online footprints, just Google their name or email id. See the websites they are active on and the kind of comments they have posted. Besides social networking, other websites can also turn up a host of information on any individual.
Different social circles
The world is truly a small place. If you dig deep enough, you might find some common people between the two parties. So, get in touch with these people and talk about the prospective match. Along with this, you can also get some insight details about the other person's family from their neighbours or residential security guards.
Inputs from the workplace
Although it might sound intrusive, a person’s workplace is a reliable source to extract information about them. You can make general enquiries to find out about their relevant details like designation, behaviour and also salary, if needed.
Some crazy and wackiest ways:
Well, those who want to move beyond the ‘tried-and-tested’ ways, here are some whacky tricks for the ‘Gen-Next’.
(Caution: The success rate of below points is not guaranteed. So, try them at your own risk!)
1) Honey-Trap: Well, we have termed our first idea as 'honey-trap'. In this, you have to create a fake social networking profile. Send a friend request to that girl/guy whom you want to enquire about. Wait to see if they accept a stranger’s friend request or not. If they do then use the platform to extract as much information as you can. Flirt to your heart's content and talk 'cool'. Their response to your advances will give you all the answers.
2) Character-Check: Here is a character test for the Mr. or Ms. would-be (try this only after you have met the person at least once or twice). Ask that person out, maybe for clubbing or dinner. Take some friends along. Get one of your friends to act a ‘little’ flirty with your ‘prospective’ life partner. See how your ‘would-be’ acts in such a situation. Well, we are sure that after this you would not have many doubts left about their character.
Although arranged marriage is one of the oldest practices in India, failure to run a thorough background research can lead devastating consequences. Marriage with a wrong person can leave lifelong scars. So, don’t scrimp on this background check!