Russell Tovey: Wise beyond his years and years

Russell Tovey says he is an expert on “men caught adrift in their 30s”. The actor has been delving into masculinity in preparation for his role in new ITV drama Flesh and Blood. He plays Jake, a divorced fitness instructor with two children, whose life explodes when his recently widowed mother falls in love with a mysterious stranger called Mark.

The family dynamics and beautiful Eastbourne seaside setting mean it’s “a bit like a British version of Big Little Lies”, says Tovey, who still looks boyish at 38, tipping back in his chair at the Soho Hotel. “Jake is broken in many ways but he keeps going,” explains Tovey. “He epitomises toxic masculinity, which was interesting. I based him on people I’ve come across, right back to my schooldays. Like so many men, he wants to protect everyone so when Mark turns up it highlights his inadequacies. He earns less than his sisters, he’s gambled away his money so he can’t pay for his kids — there’s so much he’s not dealing with because if he did he would have a nervous breakdown. He has a high ego and terribly low self-esteem.”

Tovey continues his character study: “He was popular at school and assumed the rest of his life would be great because people told him he was the s***, then when it didn’t happen for him he became bitter and angry.”

Has Tovey ever felt like this? “Oh, I talk about my problems,” he chuckles. “I’ve had s*** moments but I’ve always gone straight to therapy. My personal trainer has become a bit of a life coach too. I go to him with all my rubbish and he knows me so well he straightens me out.”

Tovey says he was a skinny boy but made an effort to bulk up. He liked that Jake is a fitness instructor, but says, “I couldn’t run a class like him, I’d ruin people’s spines”. That may be true, but he’s definitely charming enough to lead a class and sweet-talk them into pushing themselves. Fans still come up to him and hug him in the street after seeing him in Years And Years on the BBC last year. His boyfriend is also a personal trainer, although they don’t mix work and pleasure. They’re about to be separated for six months while Tovey goes to New York to play Nick in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf on Broadway, with Rupert Everett and Laurie Metcalf as George and Martha. But they’ve already booked in a lot of transatlantic visits.

He wants to settle down but the play has put his plan to have children on hold. “It’s trickier trying to move sperm when you’re on stage,” he says. Would he adopt or use a surrogate? He hasn’t worked that out: “It’s all up for grabs. You say you’ll do it when the time feels right but how do you know when that is?”

There’s a parallel with owning his French bulldog, Rocky. “I got my dog because I realised I just had to make the jump. Everyone was sceptical, especially my parents, who said they wouldn’t help but now they are always asking when they can look after him. He is their grand-dog, he patrols their garden then has a nap because it’s exhausting work.”

Tovey came out at 16 and told his parents at 18. He played a footballer coming to terms with his sexuality in The Pass at the Royal Court, had a cameo in Pride and is in comedy drama Looking. How does he feel about straight men playing gay roles? “It’s murky territory. If you can act and convince me and I get all the feelings, you are worthy of the role. I’ve been blessed with my career — just let people act.” His kiss with Wentworth Miller in 2017 US superhero TV show Crisis On Earth was, he says, “a landmark moment for gay people”. “So many kids watch those shows and hopefully they will think, ‘If my heroes are doing that it’s fine I feel like this’. Things like that make a difference and it’s all incremental.” He adds: “It’s important for young people to be able to see actors they can aspire to. “It’s similar with rising knife crime. Young people need role models, we shouldn’t rush to exclude them.”

When Tovey was 18 he was attacked by two men on the train on the way to meet his parents in Romford. They slashed him with a knife above his ear. His parents had been at a fancy-dress party and rushed to A&E still dressed as a cowboy and a gypsy. The attack had an enduring effect — he felt intimidated by groups of men for years.

“At the time it was horrific but now I forgive them,” he says. “They were two losers who were angry at the world. I feel sorry for them. What has to happen to you to get to that stage where you beat someone up?”

Tovey is proud of his roots. He grew up in Billericay in Essex, “a county of storytellers”. “We all love an anecdote and a long joke.” Talking of Essex, he didn’t have time to be in the Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special but was honoured that his character Budgie got a mention. “I was emotional about it. It gave people hope going into 2020. If there’s a new series I can see Smithy and Nessa eventually getting married but they’ll wait until the end of the show. James [Corden] has a lot on though so I don’t know if they’ll have time.” His first role was in The Bill aged 10 — his drama club put him up for it. “They gave me a football and I can’t kick footballs but they told me to throw it at a police officer and tell him to ‘Get out’. It was amazing. I remember telling everyone at school and they were impressed. My mum still has the video.”

He still employs a tactic he learned at drama club when he was 13. “I had this great teacher who told me the best skill as an actor is to get to the point where you’re about to cry and then stop yourself. That’s when people are more emotionally invested in you. Back then I could cry whenever.” He would try to emulate his favourite actor Robin Williams and regrets not having the chance to work with him before he died in 2014.

Equal access to the arts is important to Tovey. “If you don’t let people have an outlet or pretend to be someone else for a while you’re cutting off part of what it is to be alive.” He’s disappointed Emily Thornberry didn’t make it through the Labour leadership contest: “I love how straightforward she is.”

We break off to appraise the painting behind us, of a woman wearing a pearl anklet. Tovey understands her fed up expression. He presents podcast Talk Art, with Robert Diament of the Carl Freedman Gallery in Margate. He’s “just got into sound art”, adding: “I struggle with video art because being an artist you are striving for the highest production values and I found lots of it grainy for grainy’s sake but it can be the best thing ever.” Has he ever tried his hand at art? “I like to sketch but I like keeping artists on pedestals and letting them do their thing — they do it better than me.”

After Flesh and Blood we’ll see him in Because The Night by Luther writer Neil Cross. It’s on ITV later this year and filming was gruelling. “It’s about a man haunted by an event in his twenties. It’s taken him 10 years to build his life back up,” he explains, slightly cryptically.

“If you are instinctive, which I think I am, to play a role like this you trick your body into releasing certain chemicals, — fight or flight — which is brilliant for the show but if you don’t have recovery time it’s hard to keep up. Shows like that are a gift but I can only do them once a year — real life, and your mental health, suffer.” Flesh and Blood, on the other hand, was “a joy”. “I hope it does for Eastbourne what Poldark did for Cornwall.”