Shockingly, Owen Wilson narrates the new Teardown trailer without saying 'Wow!' even once

 A building exploding.
A building exploding.

Teardown, one of our favorite games of 2022, is having a bit of a moment. It's got a new wild west expansion out today called Time Campers which looks great. It just reached version 1.5, which includes DirectX 12, performance improvements, and support for more languages. And it just arrived on consoles, meaning Xbox and PlayStation fans will be able to enjoy its explosive heists and destructive sandbox.

To celebrate there's a new trailer showing off its entrancing explosions and glorious physics, narrated by… wait, is that Owen Wilson?

Wow, it is! It's Owen Wilson, talking about Teardown in hushed, reverent tones. "You've gotta respect the sheer chaos of it, don't you?" Wilson says in the trailer as stuff starts blowing up and falling down. "Why is it so satisfying to break stuff?"

Wilson continues, pointing out that's precisely what games are for. In a world where you're typically spending your time fighting an endless battle against entropy, it's great to come home, kick back, and make a mess. For the record, I agree with him, and if you like destruction, there's really no better place to enjoy it than in Teardown.

I am a little surprised, however, that in a trailer filled with genuine "wow" moments like toppling towers and exploding tanker trucks, Owen Wilson—a guy known for the most distinctive "Wow" on the planet—never says it in the trailer. He says "Whoa" twice. It's the first thing he says, actually. But not "Wow."

What gives? If you want a "Whoa," hire Keanu Reeves. If you want a "Wow," Wilson is your man.

In the interest of due diligence I emailed Tuxedo Labs to ask about how they got involved with Owen Wilson, and why he says "Whoa" instead of "Wow" in their new trailer, but was told by a PR representative that the team is "unable to comment on the process behind making the video."

Sheesh, all right. I was just asking! I had no idea working with Owen Wilson was such a secretive process. All I can say is: Wow.