Unapologetically is a Yahoo Life series in which women and men from all walks of life get the chance to share how they live their best life — out loud and in living color, without fear or regret — looking back at the past with a smile and embracing the future with excited anticipation.
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi rose to fame as an unapologetic party girl on Jersey Shore, but since her reality TV debut in 2009, she's added a few more titles to her résumé. The self-described "messy mawma" (peep her wine brand) is also one of the hosts of MTV's clip show Messyness, in which she and her co-hosts discuss the wildest party clips on the internet.
At one point, some may have thought that the 34-year-old could have made it onto the show herself. Now, she's more focused on family life — a fact that surprises her, given that she didn't think motherhood would come naturally.
"I was scared to hold a baby," she tells Yahoo Life. "I didn't know how to like take care of a toddler. I got nervous. So that made me think, 'I'm going to be a crappy mom when it's time to have kids.' So that was really scary for me. Like, I was excited to be a mom, but I was like, 'I don't even know how I'll hold it. Like, what do I do? I can't even talk to a kid, because what do I say?' Just like all those uncomfortable feelings. And then once I became a mom, it was just like, I'm a supermom."
Still, Snooki has found a way to balance.
"I enjoy my wine and I still have me time, but I'm still a great mother and I take care of my kids," she says.
Becoming a supermom also included changing up her style. Instead of the tight dresses and high heels she once wore to the clubs on the Jersey Shore, she now (mostly) sports slip-on sneakers — at least, until a night out. Dressing sexy, for her, is more about feeling "cozy."
"After kids, sexy to me is big shirts, granny panties, not wearing makeup, my hair in a bun," she says. "I love that look, because that's my mom look. This is the sexy that you're going to get now."
The A Shore Thing author says that romantic time with her "goofball" husband Jionni LaValle sometimes can take a backseat to parenting.
"With three kids, everyone's running around this, one's screaming, this one's making a mess. The other one I have to pick up at wrestling practice," she says. "There's no time in the day for it."
When the couple can make time, Snooki shares that they have a special place in their house to be together.
"We have our own 'smush room,'" she explains. "That's where we enjoy ourselves, and we have wine, we watch a movie."
When her husband is away, however, she would much rather relax.
"I feel like my husband does the job when it comes to sexy time," she says. "So when he's not around, I'd rather sleep than play with a toy."
Snooki also isn't shy about plastic surgery — but says she's not interested in changing her body "just to fit into Hollywood."
“We're Jersey here," she says. "We do whatever the hell we want. I do it just to feel better about myself. I definitely still do the Botox because I'm just so stressed with three kids and I don't want any lines on my face, so I still do the Botox. I got my boobs done."
She says she may go under the knife again to get a breast lift in the future, now that she's "definitely" done having kids.
"We're not planning anymore," she shares. "So I would like to go and get my boobies done again, to get a lift again, but with a smaller implant because I'm over trying to have big boobies, which just doesn't fit my small body."
Snooki, who says her weight has always fluctuated, also says she isn't interested in fitting into a smaller body ideal.
"I never try and be like a size zero or anything," she explains. "I enjoy my wine and my cheese and you know, I like working out as well…I just want to be happy with myself."
Messyness premieres on MTV Sept. 15 at 9 p.m. ET.
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