Ah, Singapore! Our cross-Causeway rival, brother from the (technical?) same mother, and also frenemy. We Malaysians love to tease you! It’s so easy, honestly — and the way you guys get upset about it makes it even more fun.
Food? All of it is ours, but we’ll let you keep cooking it under far more hygienic auspices.
Nightlife? Sure, y’all have the Marina Bay Sands, but have you ever let absolutely f*cking loose at a Johor-area KTV, and woken up to find that you’ve lost your voice singing Staying Alive on repeat, while drinking not entirely Customs compliant whiskey, for the entire night? Only us? Damn, that was fun.
Cars? Yes, you do that gorgeous Grand Prix, but let’s be real — the greatest pleasure that any car-owning Singaporean can truly derive is coming over the border, speeding, getting a ticket that they’ll probably not settle, and then loading up on cheap petrol while they hump a car for the last drop before heading back home.
Harsh? Cmaaan — we’re just having fun.
Speaking of fun, this weekend a self-deprecating tweet went out, mildly teasing our Causeway frenemy yet again, showing a short clip of the city-state’s latest illustrious edition to their landscape: Jewel Changi. You know, that place where the waterfall goes floor to ceiling, while a train runs below, and where you stand in an hour-long queue for Shake Shack?
One Malaysian’s gentle ribbing went viral when they showed the clip, initially tagged as KL Sentral (intentional?), and added a cheeky “Malaysia is so beautiful!”
Malaysian netizens responded in jest, adding that it must be the latest edition to a provincial airport, or the latest addition to KLIA2.
However, some didn’t seem to get the joke, and commented that HELLO, EXCUSE ME MA’AM THIS IS SINGAPORE, which is missing the point entirely, so here it goes humorless folks:
It’s funny because it’s as far from Malaysia as you can get. Two weeks ago we had a burst pipe at our budget, yet still gargantuan KLIA2 airport, and that’s as close as we’ll ever get to having any kind of indoor fountain. We haven’t even figured out how to get Shake Shack to open a stall, but we have got a similarly-logoed New York Steak Shack, serving average burgers and fries.
That’s how we do, and we’re good at laughing at ourselves about it because if we weren’t laughing — let’s be real — we’d probably be crying. Better nasi lemak can only get you through so many days, nawa mean?
Now, plz send us burgers, thanks!
This article, How to troll Singapore, and make fun of yourself in a single tweet: Changi airport edition, originally appeared on Coconuts, Asia's leading alternative media company. Want more Coconuts? Sign up for our newsletters!