Woman calls out boyfriend over his ‘callous’ public behavior: ‘He deliberately ignored you’

·3-min read

A woman is furious with her boyfriend after he ignored her for a bartender.

She shared what happened on Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum. While she and her boyfriend were out for dinner, a female bartender recognized him. Her boyfriend and the bartender talked so much that he completely ignored her. When she tried to talk to him about it, he dismissed her.

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“Me and my S.O. went out for dinner one night and had drinks while we waited for our table,” she said. “When we got to the bar, he began talking to the bartender because she mentioned remembering him from their other location. (He likes their specialty drinks and frequents the place, especially when he’s visiting a friend in a town close to ours). They talk innocently the whole time, nothing that I’m worried about. But then the conversation dragssss on. To the point where I haven’t even been able to order a drink and start to feel ignored. The bartender blatantly ignores my existence this whole time. Same with my S.O.

“I would interject, but there’s no room for me to even speak, and it just feels awkward, like I’m the third wheel. Then she shows him a specialty menu, away from where I’m standing and can’t really see. It felt so uncomfortable to be there, although they weren’t blatantly flirting … I genuinely felt invisible. So I pretend to just stare at the regular menu and hope that they end the conversation soon so I can order a drink. Finally, a second bartender notices me, so I order something.”

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When she confronted her boyfriend about what happened, he didn’t want to hear it.

“Before I know it, my S.O. is ordering drinks, and the bartender takes the menus and turns away to start making them,” she wrote. “My S.O. turns to me and can tell that I’m upset and asks, ‘what?’ I tell him that I already ordered and didn’t even get to look at the specialty menu. He apologizes but assures me that he ordered for me and then says, ‘Do you want me to get the menus back?’ And I said no … it’s fine. Why order a third? Lol. I insist that we sit down, and my S.O. decides he wants to sit at the high top within earshot of the bartender. I sternly say: No, I don’t want to sit that close to the bar. He says, ‘I don’t want them to have to walk all that way to give us our drinks when we could just sit here.’

“I quietly tell him, ‘No, I’m not going to sit here so you can just ignore me for another 10 minutes.’ He immediately got mad, and we sat in silence at a table far from the bar. After dinner, he accused me of being jealous and ridiculous. I tried to explain that I wasn’t jealous necessarily, it just upset me that I could ever be THAT invisible to him. It made me feel so unimportant.

“Anytime we talk about it, he gets extremely upset and tells me it’s stupid for me to feel that way and implies I’m lying or being dramatic about how long they were talking. He claims I’m upset because I ‘think he’s cheating,’ … but I’ve very clearly expressed that I DON’T think that. It just truly hurt my feelings to be ignored.”

People thought her boyfriend’s behavior was pretty telling.

“He deliberately ignored you,” a user wrote.

“You’re not crazy, and even if he doesn’t get it, he should want you to be happy,” another commented.

“I think it’s rude. It’s blatantly flirting,” a person said.

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