Warning: This post mentions suicide.
Not too long ago, I wrote up a viral Reddit thread where women shared stories of a time when a man they thought was their friend crossed the line into creepy and inappropriate behavior.
Sadly, this is something that's all too relatable, even in 2024.
As a result, even more women chimed in with their own stories of creepy male behavior, and it's so upsetting but also very important to discuss. Here they are:
1."I had a former boss who was in his 50s. He was constantly making comments toward me in the workplace. The first one was, as I was going to sit in my chair, he said that, 'if this were the 1920s, I'd be his secretary and I'd be sitting in his lap.' Another time, he noticed my tattoos and told me that, 'if this were the 1950s, people would assume I was a prostitute.' He told me about how he and his wife walk around the house naked, and went into great detail about kilts (he was born and raised in Scotland), and how they don't wear anything underneath. He truly didn't see anything wrong with these conversations, and was baffled when other employees who overheard them started reporting him to HR."
2."Some guy I barely knew from work volunteered to drive me to a healthcare appointment in the next town over. We worked in different departments, but he seemed fine, and I didn't have a lot of other options for transportation at the time, so I agreed. The conversation seemed to flow just fine until I told him about my long-distance relationship. He suddenly got very cold and would hardly speak to me for the rest of the drive. It was one of the most awkward and uncomfortable drives of my life. I couldn't wait to get out of that car, and now I have problems accepting help from men."
3."Three times…THREE TIMES, I’ve had male 'friends' ask me out, I turned them down, and they either got really angry or all mopey like I owed them something. It’s a disturbing trend, and the reason I hate the term 'friend zone' because men like this weaponize it!"
4."When I was a barista, he hung around my job to blatantly flirt with me and tell every man I served that he was there to see me, all while standing three feet away from me on the other side of the counter while I worked. A coworker gave him my number, and he kept messaging me persistently until I blocked him. Finally, I told a regular how uncomfortable he was making me (management wouldn't do anything). I don't know what he did, but I never saw the creepy guy again."
5."I had just transferred to a new university, and I met up with a bunch of other transfers. One of the guys seemed pretty nice, and we started talking. We hung out ONCE together (nobody said the word 'date' at any time) without the rest of the group, and I decided I just wanted to be friends with him because there was no spark. At the time, I had an online journal where I recounted my college journey (it was the early 2000s). I wrote that I met a guy but only wanted to be friends with him. Somehow, he found my journal, read that entry, deduced it was about him, and went OFF on me."
"He called me, but I didn’t pick up, so he started sending long, angry messages on AOL Messenger about how I led him on, etc. etc. I didn’t respond to any of them and deleted him from my phone. The next day, he sent me more long messages about how I should give him a second chance because he’s a nice guy, has a bad relationship with his dad, etc. etc. After I said no thank you, he sent more long rant-y messages until I blocked him. Thankfully, it was a big campus, and I met other friends besides the transfer student group, but I still saw him occasionally, and he would GLARE at me."
6."He turned up outside my dorm room at 1 a.m. to tell me he loved me...after ONE date. I told him to go away, and he did, and it was only after he left that I freaked out because there's always a real possibility that men WON'T leave."
7."I have so many stories about men being creepy. The latest, though, is a male coworker who was helping to decorate a Christmas tree at work, and it had a lot of decorative picks that were being placed in it. This guy decided that I needed to have glitter on me (I was not helping to decorate the tree) as I was walking by to go to a meeting, and came in for a hug. I quickly backed away and left. I've made sure to steer clear of this guy completely since then."
8."Our 'nice guy' neighbor helped with our mailbox, bought Christmas gifts for my kids, even baked us banana bread last week…this week, he’s threatening my husband and saying, 'he will make sure our son has a good father figure in his life.'"
9."When I was in high school, a 'friend' asked me out on multiple occasions. I kept turning him down. One time, he asked and said if I said no, he would end his life. He wasn’t at school for two weeks. His family went on vacation, and he happily let me think I was the reason he was gone, and hoped I would be happy he was back and promptly asked me out again."
10."He sent me and my parents, whom he never met, 16 pages of handwritten letters explaining how he was a good guy and why I should give him another chance. There were other numerous things, which eventually led to a restraining order."
11."I hung out with this guy I was talking to for a couple of months for the first time, and we had a nice time, but at the end of the night, he asked to hang out some more, and I refused, which he didn’t take to kindly. He parked up the street from my house and kept me in his car until I threatened to walk home myself THREE TIMES, and after the third time, he dropped me off at home and then went off on me, telling me I wasn’t treating him right, or fairly, because my walls were still up and proceeded to say that him being nice to me should basically result in my walls being put down."
12."A guy I knew who was kinda awkward but nice initially asked me out, and I said no. So, after a couple more tries, he said, 'We'll just go in a big group then, no worries.' I got there, and he said, 'Everyone else had to cancel, it’s just us for tonight.' Uhh okay, so 15 people all had things to do suddenly? Yeah, if you’re a guy and think this kind of thing is cute or clever, don’t. It’s not."
13."A guy I knew for a decade texted me that he'd always wanted to go down on me...right after thanking me for donating to the GoFundMe page his mom had set up for his girlfriend who was in a coma with brain damage from a stroke."
14."I found the blog of a close friend chronicling his crush on me in a way that would have been creepy even if I was attracted to him, and went back at least two years. Guys, this is not nearly as flattering as you think it is. Please do NOT. The only saving grace is that neither he nor I ran in the popular crowd, so probably only a handful of people even knew it existed."
15."Following our second date, he got real pissed when I declined taking it back to his place or mine. He then demanded to know if I was on birth control — because if I were, then that would be my reason for not having sex with him??? (His argument went somewhere along the lines of, 'but my ex-girlfriend was on the pill, and SHE stopped taking it once we broke up!') Needless to say, there was no third date."
16."This ‘nice guy’ I was friends with in my early and mid 20s used to turn up at my house uninvited and stay for HOURS — over dinnertime, when I was clearly tired, etc. (I have an energy limiting illness, so I was TIRED.) I lived with my parents so they let him in. I’m classic British, so it was really hard to just tell him to leave, but he clearly, very deliberately ignored all the normal social cues and rules and just stayed until finally I was able to tell him directly. I felt so trapped by him. Obviously once I got a boyfriend, he was hostile, and then I moved away and didn’t give him my new address!"
17."I met a guy in high school who was very straightforward that he liked me. I was very adamant we’d never be anything more than friends. After high school, he’d text me from time to time, and one night while we were casually talking, he suddenly started texting me about how hard he is, how he’s touching himself, and telling me how big his d*ck is. I could not delete him out of my phone fast enough. I found out years later that I wasn’t the only girl he harassed like that; he had a whole reputation. He’s married now, and I always wonder if she knows what a creep he is."
PSA to any men who might be reading: DON'T ACT LIKE THIS. Respect boundaries and respect women. It's that simple.
Responses have been edited for length/clarity.
Have you ever endured creepy behavior from men that made you VERY uncomfortable? Feel free to share your story in the comments.