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To write a love letter replete with emotion, first establish an environment that draws out your most romantic sentiments. If you don’t already have an ornate antique secretary desk, buy one. Leave the desktop clear but for a single long stemmed rose and a dripping wax candle. Pop an aspirin to counteract the headache you’re going to get from straining your eyes working by candlelight. Find your best stationery, which is preferably a piece of parchment but perhaps more realistically a sheet of paper from the notepad you write your grocery list on. Pour yourself a glass of red wine and sit at your desk.
Pick Up Your Quill and Write...
…the rules for your drinking game. This step is easy because the game has only one rule: Drink every time you accidentally quote John Mayer’s “Your Body is a Wonderland.” It’s unavoidable, so this is a foolproof way of downing some liquid courage before you have to actually send the letter.
Come to Think of it, Turn On Music to Set the Mood
Perhaps some smooth jazz, or something from Taylor Swift before she turned sixteen and got so jaded? Or aforementioned John Mayer.
Find the Perfect Greeting
Assuming you’ve already chosen the object of your affection, now write your salutation. “Dear lover,” “Hello darling,” and “To my most treasured soulmate,” are all solid choice (or, if you want to be able to reuse this letter if things don’t pan out, consider “To whom it may concern”).
Compose the Letter
Really, it’s that easy! Simply jot down your deepest feelings using your most beautiful language...
Nothing? Maybe Take a Break
You deserve it. If you don’t already have a claw-foot bathtub, buy one. Soaking in a hot bath will clear your head and help you find the right words to illustrate your perpetual love for your beloved. Don’t worry, this isn’t procrastinating. This is necessary You Time.
Ok, Dry Off and Make a List of Things You Love About This Person
What is it about them that tickles you down to your very soul? Is it the melody of their laughter? How they always know what you’re thinking? Their candy lips and their bubblegum tongue? (Drink!)
Recall the Moment You First Met
“We locked eyes from across the room.” “Your hand brushed mine and it was electric.” “You called me Sarah and even though that’s not my name, I was too enamored to say anything, so I’m Sarah now.” If you’re having trouble, move on to the next step.
Imagine You’re On a Plane, and The Plane is About to Crash, and You Only Have Sixty Seconds to Tell Your Sweetheart How They Truly Make You Feel
The oxygen masks are dropping from the ceiling and the woman next to you is clutching your arm screaming “WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!” And you’re seated in the emergency exit row so you actually only have forty seconds to express your feelings because you need the last twenty to prepare to evacuate one hundred passengers and get them all to safety. QUICK, WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR SWEETHEART?
Great, Now Write the Letter
Tell them you love them. Recall a romantic memory. Reaffirm your undying love and devotion.
If You Get Stuck, Look Elsewhere for Inspiration
And by that I mean DM John Mayer and ask him for help. The guy really is a master in his class. While you await his reply, watch some clips of romantic movies for more ideas. Check out the “I’m a bird” scene in The Notebook or any of the non-tuberculosis scenes in Moulin Rouge.
Prepare to Send the Letter
You’ve written a passionate letter unabashedly proclaiming your love. It’s time to send it! Fold it and slip it into an embossed envelope. Spray the envelope with your signature scent so your beloved will immediately think of you when they smell it.
Send the Letter. Go On, Send it. Or—Hear Me Out—DON’T Send It
I don’t know, this whole thing has been kind of exhausting. If it’s meant to be, love will find a way. But look around: You can’t waste this ambience! You’ve got that candle dripping wax onto your new antique desk. You’ve got alpaca fur pillows and a pile of cashmere throws (if you don’t, buy some). You already binged Cheer, but Netflix is also streaming eleven seasons of Cheers that you haven’t even touched. Again, this isn’t procrastinating—this is self care. Send the letter tomorrow, or next week or something.
For now, you should top off that glass of wine, grab those pillows, and swim in your deep sea of blankets. (Drink!)
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