Are girls chasing guys these days?
Perhaps that's not a common practice yet, but there are signs that girls in Singapore are increasingly shedding conservative ways.
Chong Siew Yee, a 21-year-old undergraduate from Singapore Management University told Yahoo! Singapore that although she has never asked a guy out, she has taken the first step to tell a guy her feelings before.
Her reason? "Life is too short and you will never know what will happen to you the next day" she said.
"Rarely do girls do it. Most of my friends just wait and see. They wait for so long and then they regret because they find out that the guys they like have feelings for them too but just did not take the initiative to tell them" she pointed out. "I don't want to be like them, so I just take initiative!"
She admitted she's taken the first step before and told two guys she liked them. An open-minded individual, the second year economics student said that "A guy's mind is very hard to read, so why not take the first step and see how it goes? If it doesn't work out, so be it!"
From her experience, she was accepted and rejected for her openness before. Keeping a simple mindset, she does not expect anything from them and if they reject her, she is happy to remain friends with them.
Another student from LASALLE College of the Arts had a similar attitude. Toh, a 21-year-old female student said "I don't mind. Guys nowadays are very passive. I'm the kind who will take initiative." She has openly expressed her feelings to two guys before.
Yahoo! Singapore asked some guys on how they would react if girls were to ask them out. Lim Hong Yu, a 21-year-old first year student at the East Asia Institute of Management said, "If a girl asks me out, I will see whether I'm interested in her first. If I am, I will let her know."
He noted that in this modern era the trend of girls asking guys out is becoming quite common and more acceptable by day, although he would be surprised to meet a girl who is this daring.
Another two boys Yahoo! Singapore spoke to had similar views. Zane Chua, a 19-year-old student from Singapore Polytechnic said that if a girl were to confess to him and if he had prior interest in her, he would ask her out on a date. However, if he did not like her, he would kindly reject her.
Terence Lee, a 22-year-old social science student from Singapore Management University said, "I would be nice enough to tell her that I'm sorry. I mean you have to be direct the first time and not lead people on."
Delwin Koh, a 21-year-old NSF said that during his secondary school days, a few girls confessed their feelings to him but he only treated them like sisters. He is not surprised and believes that this trend is becoming common in the current generation of youngsters.
"It's never wrong to voice out when you love someone, I believe we are in a society whereby people are trying to promote that men and women are equal. [Girls] should be bold to fight for their happiness, but taking the first step can be good or bad for them because it might backfire." he said.
In his opinion, if he feels that the girl is suitable for him, he will "definitely be happy to go into a relationship with her".
Some other girls don't believe in being that straightforward. Tan, a 21-year-old first year student at the University of London has qualms about asking a guy out and taking the initiative. She said that she would be comfortable to give signs to the guy that she is interested but will not openly confess her feelings for him.
"I don't find it weird (that girls are doing it these days), but I will not do it myself" she said when asked if she would ask a guy out.
Quek Li Yi, a 20-year-old second year Economics student from Singapore Management University also said that she has never asked a guy out or confessed her feelings before a guy does so before. Her reason is that she is shy. To her, "If a guy likes me, he will ask me out. If he doesn't, I move on."
52-year-old manager Maria de Souza said that this trend didn't use to be so common back in her school days though she did hear of a few rare cases. "Young girls today are different from those born in my time. Girls are more daring, independent and outspoken when approaching guys," she said. "Most of the time, guys are the ones approaching girls but nowadays it works both ways."
Violet Lim, the 30-year-old CEO and co-founder of Lunch Actually, Asia's first lunch dating company, explained the reasons why girls are becoming more daring. "I think it is becoming more acceptable for girls to make the first move as compared to previously. In the past, girls are asked never to ever consider doing such a thing as the guys might think [they] are too forward, etc."
In her case, Lim was quite open about her feelings towards her then boyfriend who is now her husband. "I did not exactly ask him out but I did give him an invitation/opportunity for him to ask me out." she said. The professional matchmaker is now a mother of two children.
The dating expert continued, "Thanks to gender equality, ladies are feeling more comfortable taking things in their own hands rather than just waiting around for the guy. This works especially well when the guy is more on the shy and introverted side, and they probably like you as well but are afraid of rejection."
However, she cautions young girls that "if the guy is very popular and outgoing and the life of the party, by being too proactive and asking him out might not work as well as these guys usually prefer to do the 'chasing'."
So are Singaporean girls really becoming more daring these days? What do you think? What's been your experience?
