1st-generation Asian American discusses idea of ‘selling out’ in college and sparks debate: ‘You absolutely should not feel bad’
A 23-year-old first-generation Asian American who shared a video in support of “selling out” has garnered differing opinions.
On July 23, Tin (@tincareer), a New York City-based software engineer for Meta, took to TikTok to “talk about selling out if you’re a first-gen baby.”
“You absolutely should not feel bad for selling out,” Tin says. “I came into Brown [University] as a theater major and I SO wish I could have been an actor but given the risk, who’s going to retire my parents? Who’s going to build generational wealth for my family? It’s going to HAVE to be me and maybe u.”
Per a 2012 study released by the Education Department’s National Center for Education Statistics, 93% of Asian American college students were either first- or second-generation immigrants.
“These youth face numerous barriers to academic success: significant pressure to contribute financially; struggles navigating the college application process; racial discrimination; pressures to conform to stereotypes; and struggles with navigating multiple cultures,” reported Asian American Youth Leadership Empowerment and Development, which supports “low-income and underserved” AAPI youth.
Similarly, a 2013 study published in the journal Anxiety, Stress &, Coping found that Asian American students are more concerned about school and family expectations than white American students.
“There is this really acute pressure to succeed because the family has sacrificed so much to come here,” Margaret Yee, a high school teacher in San Francisco, told Counseling@NYU.
Tin double-majored in computer science and economics, which he describes as “basically the big money majors,” and despite giving up his initial dream of acting, he “absolutely” has no regrets about pursuing a more traditionally lucrative career.
“We live in a capitalist society that demand[s] these skills and I’m going to ‘get that bag,'” he asserts. “If you’re a first-gen baby, do not let ANYONE ever make you feel bad for selling out, because you got a heavy back to carry for your village.”
He adds, “Others might not understand that, but I do and I’m on your side.”
Ryan McAnnally-Linz, Matthew Croasmun and Miroslav Volf, colleagues at the Yale Center for Faith & Culture at Yale Divinity School and authors of “Life Worth Living: A Guide to What Matters Most,” argue that simply encouraging young people to follow their dreams is “selling them short.”
“Perhaps no advice comes more naturally than to encourage a young person to find what they love and follow it,” they write for Time. “Figure out what they really want and go after it. Simply put: follow their dreams. It feels less mercenary than offering cold-hearted strategy for the ‘real world.’ And it is. There’s something humane about prioritizing desire over dollars, cents, and social expectations.”
Instead, McAnnally-Linz and his colleagues believe that young people should be encouraged to think about what is “worth” wanting.
“Our desires are slippery, fickle things. It’s extraordinarily difficult to pin them down, particularly while billion-dollar corporations work daily to unearth and reshape them. And nobody but you can judge whether you’ve found what you really want,” they say.
‘My pops told me he didn’t come to this country for me to be unhappy he came here so his kids can follow their dreams.’
While many TikTok users appear to be in support of “selling out” and forgoing their riskier dream careers in favor of more traditional “moneymaking” routes, others take issue with Tin’s argument.
“As a first gen asian american and incoming freshman at brown, i really needed to hear this so thank you so much!!” @218luc wrote.
“It’s fine as long as you retain empathy for your community and other marginalized communities,” @zanemars15 commented.
“My pops told me he didn’t come to this country for me to be unhappy he came here so his kids can follow their dreams. So to each their own,” @barmy_27 replied.
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