I Cannot Overstate How Hilarious These 21 Tweets By Women Are
Summer is on the horizon, and depending on where you live, it's almost time to hear that apocalyptic cicada hum:
cicadas have taken over Nashville and my coworker told me about his 4yo daughter who, on her way in to the YMCA, picked a bunch up in her hands, walked in, twirled up to the front desk, and said to the attendants “hello ladies. do any of you want to see some cicadas?” I’m howling
— juliAn (@oigevalt) May 15, 2024
So let's celebrate our impending doom with the funniest tweets from women this week. Make sure you follow these funny ladies on X (formerly known as Twitter)!
1.
The concept for A Quiet Place is really wild when you think about it. Like how do you invade a planet and get mad it’s noisy when you get there?!?
— Jeremi Allen Blaque (@Daniwithlove_) May 10, 2024
2.
My wife and I were walking down the sidewalk wearing gear from our favorite sports teams, pushing three cats in strollers, on the way to the vet (annual check-ups), and I could feel a level of lesbianism radiating off of us that was so powerful men were crossing the street.
— Heather Hogan (@theheatherhogan) May 10, 2024
3.
When we began location sharing, it was about me knowing where the kids were. I did not consider the ramifications of them also knowing where I am at all times. pic.twitter.com/DRuH7g43Zm
— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) May 11, 2024
4.
Took my ADHD meds and drank a large iced coffee to try to knock out the introduction and methods section of this manuscript and instead just came out of a 90 minute adderall hyperfocus trance where I was in Canva creating a UFO-themed abortion sticker pic.twitter.com/y0bLh0bjkD
— Hayley McMahon, MSPH, CPH (@McMisoprostol) May 12, 2024
5.
my mother has a medical podcast where she self diagnoses her ailments it’s called my voicemail and it happens every morning at 9 am.
— kim (@KimmyMonte) May 12, 2024
6.
It’s so funny to me the president of France’s last name is Macron it’s like if we had a President named President Choclate Chip Cookie
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) May 14, 2024
7.
i start my day like everyone else (consuming 7 forms of media)
— erika (@yeeeerika) May 15, 2024
8.
do we think travis’ pre Super Bowl speech included telling the team that taylor has already written a song about them getting the trophy & being on a winning streak so if they don’t win it’ll be embarrassing
— .🤍 (@midnighthoaxx) May 14, 2024
9.
You know when you’re driving and you have to stop to let a funeral procession pass and you think “ugh this is inconvenient for me” and then you spend the next hour trying to convince yourself you didn’t think that
— Kristen Mulrooney (@missmulrooney) May 15, 2024
10.
when my bf opened his gifts from me his mom saw the shorts and was like “oh my those are short!!” patty cut me some slack they’re 7” inseams you have no idea how they are whoring up the boys these days i’m protecting your son!!!
— am rod (@arod_twit) May 14, 2024
11.
It’s crazy because the girl I used to babysit in 2016 was obsesseddddd w Sabrina Carpenter but at the time I didn’t really see the vision. believe women.. .
— eliza (@elizamclamb) May 14, 2024
12.
Dress codes should just be broken down into "Jeans Okay" or "Jeans Not Okay." This is all the information I need.
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) May 14, 2024
13.
I really need the weather to commit to being warm like… I have sundresses to wear, strawberries to eat, etc
— ellie schnitt! (@holy_schnitt) May 13, 2024
14.
depression & mango szn cannot coexist pull yourself up bitches have some respect
— fka twix (@vegg1etales) May 14, 2024
15.
Would you rather get a 4yo ready for school or drown yourself in a giant vat of boiling hot maple syrup
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) May 14, 2024
16.
i'll say shit like "sorry haha i was going through it back then" as if there has ever been a single point in my entire life where i was not going through it
— aphrodite (@mujhemaardo) May 14, 2024
17.
when my bf and i watch movies that have a kissing scene, i yell "4D!!!" (4 dimensional movie theater) and I kiss his face
— kat (@katrinadlc) May 14, 2024
18.
talking to him isn’t enough i need to live inside his white blood cells and protect him
— milk (@greenailpolish) May 14, 2024
19.
If by “meal planning” you mean grilled cheese for dinner every day, then yes, I do meal plan.
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) May 15, 2024
20.
Me as a heterosexual woman scream-singing Chappell Roan and Renee Rapp in my room all day. pic.twitter.com/7QMKAGKI4a
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) May 14, 2024
21.
i hate seeing pretty girls lose sleep over someone who looks like he negotiated his way onto earth
— Sehri (@sehxr) May 14, 2024
Don't miss the funniest tweets by women last week:
I'm Still Giggling And Kicking My Feet At The 24 Funniest Tweets By Women This Week
