Former Coworkers Are Sharing How Someone Got Fired On Their First Day, And It's Equal Parts Funny And Sad

You have to mess up pretty bad to get fired on your first day of work, so I was immediately intrigued when I stumbled upon this Reddit thread. U/isabelle_k asked people who've seen someone get fired on the first day what happened, and their stories are pretty jaw-dropping. Here's what they had to say:

1."New substitute teacher fired on day one for writing 'BE QUIET' IN SHARPIE on two kids' foreheads."

Gregory from Abbott Elementary looking shocked

2."The afternoon of his first day as a developer, he was noticed downloading the source code of our main product app from the source control system to a personal USB stick. Said he wanted to 'take it home and mess with it in his spare time.' This was after he'd signed the IT security policy to say he wouldn't (and they made sure people read it). This was also in the mid-teens, in a company that really didn't like WFH."


3."Worked in a chemical plant as quality control (to make it short, I was one of the chemists who checked if the products were good enough to leave the plant). A guy working in production came for his first day; he took his break, and he lit a cigarette next to a 10,000-liter acetone tank. He was out before I could even blink an eye."


4."I hired a temp for data input. On her first day, a guy pulled me aside and said, 'She can't be here.' Apparently, one of our full-time employees had a restraining order against her. I sent the employee home and apologized, then called her agency and told them she was not welcome back. Not sure what the order was for, but my guess is stalking."

Martha the stalker from the Netflix series Baby Reindeer

5."Kid lied about his experience as a 'foreman' and drove a skid into the side of the house we were working on. Forks straight into the siding, it was hilarious."


6."I was bartending at a sports bar in Hell's Kitchen. The new guy is training on the first day, supposedly with several years of experience. He attempted to shake a Jack and Coke and, of course, covered the bar in his mess. Didn't come back for day two."


7."Homeboy was allowed to play music on Bluetooth for the restaurant on the first day; he went to the bathroom and started watching porn and forgot he was still on the speakers. Hilarity and dismissal ensued."

Brian Baumgartner, in character as Kevin Malone from "The Office," smirking and tilting his head slightly

8."I was working at a large-scale architectural firm in the Bay Area in 2004, and they hired a new guy. After his orientation and paperwork, he finally got to his cubicle. The first thing he does is put on his headphones and blast death metal (Cannibal Corpse) so loud that everyone can hear, and that's him using headphones. However, that was not what got him fired. His first work item was to write a company-wide email that said Debbie Harry of Blondie was responsible for 9/11, and he wrote about 30,000 words for it. I have never seen our HR manager run out of her office so fast."


9."Our town's prick mayor forced his spoiled prick son to get a job at a restaurant where I worked. On his first day of training as a host, the kid sat in the waiting area looking at his phone instead of standing behind the host's stand, greeting customers. The trainer tried to sort him out a couple of times, but he'd just greet one customer, walk them to their table, then go right back to sitting. The manager came to talk to him. Then the kid sighed, said, 'I can't do this,' and headed for the exit. They told him if he was going to walk off his shift, he shouldn't bother coming back, and the kid just waved on his way out. He only lasted a couple of hours."


10."First day: IT guy made his computer’s desktop wallpaper a Facebook pic of a female coworker he had just met."

Cardi B cringing

11."Fighting with a customer by getting in their face and yelling at them. The dumbass thought the company owed him loyalty for being an employee. Oh boy, wait until he learns."


12."At the trucking company where I work, we hired a new driver who showed up drunk on his first day. The boss fired him before he clocked in."


13."Dude got a job at a Fortune 250 company as a direct report to a direct report of the executive committee. It was likely at least a $500K job. After his first day, he takes his team (about 30 people) out for drinks and apps. This is kind of a no-no as it’s going to be a significant company expense, and the company is trying to cut back. Still, this isn’t anywhere near enough to get him fired; just an odd choice. He ends up getting blackout drunk and sexually harassing two female employees on his team (asking them to sit on his lap and putting his arm around them). His behavior was recorded via phone. The next day, he had a meeting with HR and was terminated."

Kieran Culkin as Roman Roy in Succession cringing after making a big mistake

14."You know deli counters at supermarkets, the machines used to slice the meats? Someone got a job at said counter and refused to use the slicer."


15."New VP of sales starts vaping inside HQ office during the broadcasted all-hands, on video, all while talking like a big shot."


16."I fired an employee on their first day when I asked them to turn on their camera for a call and it wasn’t the person I interviewed."

Nev from Catfish raising his eyebrows

17."First day at McDonald's, they stole $20 from the till because they didn’t bring lunch that day. It was so dumb because we got free meals on our lunch break."


18."My first day was also the first day for another dude, who showed up an hour and a half late. After being there for about 15 minutes and sort of starting to help me do the very first task we were assigned, he gets pulled into an office and fired. On his way out, he is walking past where I'm still working, and he says, 'They fired me for being late. I can't believe it. Do you think you can give me a ride?'"

"I laughed out loud and sheepishly said, 'Sorry, dude. I'm kinda working right now.' He thanked me anyway and walked out of the building.

He accidentally did me a big favor because so many of my new coworkers saw that interaction and thought it was so incredibly hilarious that they all became immediately friendly with me to talk about it."


19."He was a first-day blackjack dealer. He took in $5 cash and exchanged it for a $500 chip. The lady stared at him for a good 20 seconds, picked up her chip, and left the building. Gaming took his badge shortly after."

A smiling woman in an evening dress excitedly gathers a large stack of poker chips at a casino table
Britt Erlanson / Getty Images

20."They pushed the emergency stop red button when there were signs everywhere saying do not push unless emergency. Corporate needed to perform an investigation before work could resume."


21.And finally, "The dishwasher shit his pants, then kept washing dishes."


Have you ever seen someone get fired on their first day? Tell us what happened in the comments!