41 Things People Said That Were So Dumb Someone Should Check Their Pulse
There are a lot of great conversations over on Quora, and recently I stumbled across one asking, "What are some dumb questions you've been asked?" After reading through the answers, I am convinced people are about 84% dumber than I originally believed.
Here are the most hilariously brain-dead things people on Quora have had said to them, along with some equally facepalm-worthy answers from a similar prompt on Reddit:
1."I had a student email me to ask how to convert years into centuries."
—Peter L., Quora
2."Last month, a coworker asked if I'll run out of blood eventually because I donate every couple of months. He's 34 years old."
3."One of my aunts asked about what I do, so I told her that after completing my electronics engineering degree, I started working in a chip-designing company. After a pause, she asked: 'What are your most popular flavors? Are the chips as good as Lay's?'"
—Abhinav G., Quora
4."'I'm never going to quit smoking cigarettes. My aunt was healthy until she quit. Then she was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer.'"
5."What is the correct spelling... Iran or Iraq?"
—Diane C., Quora
6."Someone once said that they couldn’t wait for Halloween to fall on Friday the 13th."
7."When I was a waitress at Buffalo Wild Wings, a woman once asked, 'What part of the buffalo do the Buffalo wings come from?'"
—Charissa E., Quora
8."My husband's mom is very ignorant and known to say really dumb things. Most recently, we were in Italy, and she asked why they didn't just tear down the Colosseum because it looked so old."
9."'How come chicken breasts don't have nipples?'"
—Vineet K., Quora
10."I had an acquaintance claim that the earth must be flat because nobody is talking about the white landmass around the map and how it's a cover-up. He was pointing at the white rectangular border of the paper."
11."A teacher, soon after I arrived in the US: 'How long have you been here?' Me: 'A week.' Teacher: 'How did you learn English so fast?!'"
—Vinati S., Quora
12."A few years ago, leading up to the great American eclipse, a coworker overheard us discussing it and said, 'Y'all don't actually believe in that shit, do you?' I figured he misunderstood whatever we were talking about and thought we were talking about mysticism or something regarding the eclipse, but no, he followed up with, 'Don't you know if the moon went into the sun, it would melt? That's why the eclipse can't be real.'"
13."Once, at my shop, I stood with my register open, counting a fistful of 50-dollar notes in my hand, when a woman came up and asked me if I worked there. I looked at her, then at the money, then at the open cash drawer, and said, 'Nah, mate. I'm just robbing the till.'"
—Leigh L., Quora
14."They asked, 'Was it difficult for your husband to learn English? Is there a language barrier for you guys?' My husband is Scottish, born and raised."
15."I had a guy I was working construction with say, 'I hope the sun comes up on that side today' pointing west 'because yesterday it came up on this side and it was so hot' with us being on the east side of the building. Ya bud, that's not how the sun works, LOL."
16."Shopkeeper: 'I will get you a 30% discount on this.' My friend: 'If I buy two, I will get it at 60% off, right?'"
—Anonymous, Quora
17."I was working in the emergency department when I received this call from a frantic mother: 'My toddler just drank out of the dog's water bowl! What should I do?' I told her: 'Give the dog some more water.'"
—Angela A., Quora
18."I once had a classmate in high school say she wanted to move to Australia. When asked why, she replied, 'I want to look out my window and see giraffes in my yard.' No amount of convincing or documentation would convince her that giraffes were in Africa and not Australia."
19."'Do you have internet in Indonesia?' — and it was asked by email."
—Andre O., Quora
20."A guy asked me if Hitler was before or after World War II. We are both native Germans."
21."Someone told me we don’t need farmers because we have grocery stores. (We live in a rural area.)"
22."I was asked: 'Is this the end of the line?' I answered: 'No, it's the front. We're all standing backward.'"
—Mike C., Quora
23."A friend of mine asked me why we didn’t see stars when we flew over them. She truly believed that when you were flying on an airplane, you flew over the stars. I was speechless."
24."My grandma's friend and her daughter said they could hear the International Space Station fly overhead. They claimed it sounded like 'woosh,' LOL."
25."'I don't know if an egg is a fruit or a vegetable.'"
26."After telling a friend I am a psychology major, she said, 'Great. Can you tell me what I'm thinking right now?'"
"Please don't ask any psychology students this. They are not mind readers. You are merely embarrassing yourselves."
—Amruta W., Quora
27."They said that the Golden Gate Bridge connects North America and Europe. Yeah...don't even ask."
28."'Can you get infected from the virus on your computer?'"
—Salim U., Quora
29.“'Isn’t it amazing how dogs just come out knowing commands like sit and lay down?' The man was stone cold serious."
30."This friend of mine said, 'I don't think I'd understand Fantastic 4. I haven't seen Fantastic 1, 2, and 3.'"
—Vivek R., Quora
31."I got onto an elevator on the fifth floor, which already had people who had boarded on the sixth floor. I pressed the button for the third floor and observed that the button for the second floor was also pressed. As soon as the third floor came and I started to get out, a girl piped up, 'Why, that's so unfair. I got into the elevator before her! Shouldn't I be dropped off first?'"
—Ritika G., Quora
32."As I'm Greek, I've been asked, 'So...do you believe in Greek gods like Zeus and stuff?'"
—Zoe, Quora
33."My sister was adopted from Korea. She was only about 10 weeks old — an almost newborn infant — when she came home to us. Several people asked me at the time, 'So does she speak Korean?' or 'Does she have an accent?'"
—Sonnet F., Quora
34."This one, I have to admit, I'm guilty of asking a coworker a few years ago: 'What date is Cinco de Mayo?'"
—Ambra B., Quora
35."As an Australian traveling overseas, I've been asked: 'Do you carry a stick everywhere you go to fight off the snakes?' 'Oh, you're from Australia? Do you know my niece in New Zealand?' and 'How many miles is it from where you live to Sydney? No, not miles, liters. How many liters is it?'"
"And when someone I met in a foreign country found out I was Australian, she said, 'Why don't you sound like Hulk Hogan?' I didn't know how to react to this because I had no idea why she would think I would sound like The Hulkster. I was wracking my brain trying to work out what had connected me to the former World Heavyweight champion. Finally, I said, 'Why do you think I should sound like Hulk Hogan?' She said, 'Because he's such a famous Aussie.' We then had a brief argument about the nationality of Hulk Hogan. You may have already made the connection, but it took me ages to realize she was talking about Paul Hogan, aka Crocodile Dundee."
—Dave S., Quora
36."I have fraternal twins (a boy and a girl, with separate placentas), and someone asked if they were identical. Errrrrrr, no."
—Natalie B., Quora
37."When I told a girl that I have a twin, she asked, 'So, do you, like, have the same birthday?'"
—Venkat R., Quora
38."My friend, upon seeing a Jaguar car: 'So now PUMA has started manufacturing cars, too?'"
—Vinkateshwar J., Quora
39."From my ex (we were quite young back then) referring to my you-know-what: 'So where does the bone go afterward?'"
—Swekar P., Quora
40."From a family member years ago, 'My husband and I are having problems, so we're trying for another baby. That should make things better.' I smiled inanely and walked away, stunned."
41."'Tigers are girl lions!' said my 40-year-old ex-boyfriend, a nuclear engineer."
