Here Are 42 Of The All-Time Best Chandler Bing One-Liners

Casey Rackham / BuzzFeed

5 November 2023 at 8:00 am·4-min read

We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their favorite Chandler Bing one-liners from Friends. Here are some of the best lines from our sarcastic king.

Warner Bros. TV

That fifth dentist:

Suggested by M.J. Cormier, Facebook

Warner Bros. TV

Bagpipes:

Suggested by kelseyl440389c8a

Warner Bros. TV

Caterpillar:

Suggested by jordynlar94

Warner Bros. TV

Code:

Suggested by ruby17nguyen

Warner Bros. TV

Nerves:

Suggested by giorginam

Warner Bros. TV

That noise:

Suggested by jlm07

Warner Bros. TV

Death by drill:

Joey: Oh, sorry. Did I get you?

Chandler: No, you didn't get me! It's an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!

Suggested by jlm07

Warner Bros. TV

Career before men:

Suggested by sodefe

Warner Bros. TV

Leaf blower:

Suggested by megm4e36c9e7e

Warner Bros. TV

Condoms:

Chandler: What do you got here? Magazines, Dorit... condoms?

Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to re-populate the earth.

Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that.

Suggested by katelynmiller06

Warner Bros. TV

Ikea:

Suggested by megm4e36c9e7e

Warner Bros. TV

Ten pounds:

Joey: Some girl ate Monica!

Monica: Shut up, the camera adds 10 pounds.

Chandler: Ah. So how many cameras are actually on you?

Suggested by sophiabethh

Warner Bros. TV

Oh, crap:

Suggested by maddiebuzz22

Clowns:

Warner Bros. TV

Clowns:

Suggested by maggier430637d3b

Warner Bros. TV

Rabies:

Suggested by lucym81891

Warner Bros. TV

Pivot:

Suggested by cdehon

Warner Bros. TV

Knock-knock jokes:

Chandler: Funniest guy she's ever met! I'm funny, right? What do you know? You're a door. You just like knock-knock jokes. Save it for inside!

Suggested by tiffanyalexandraw

Warner Bros. TV

Guy:

Chandler: She's right. If I were a guy and... did I just say, "If I were a guy"?

Suggested by alexf445977a2e

Warner Bros. TV

Too big:

David: Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?

Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big.

Suggested by michaelb4597440da

Warner Bros. TV

Blimps:

Ross: Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.

Chandler: Well, how you died was funny.

Ross: Oh, please. Hit by a blimp?

Chandler: It kills over one Americans every year.

Suggested by surfingrockets

Warner Bros. TV

The Gellers:

Monica: You were my midnight mystery kisser?!

Ross: You were my first kiss with Rachel?!

Monica: You were my first kiss ever?!

Chandler: What did I marry into?!

Suggested by cansuatbuzzfeed

Warner Bros. TV

Parachute:

Suggested by kylissamoore

Warner Bros. TV

Marriage:

Suggested by srishtis418aa0121

Warner Bros. TV

Advice:

Suggested by brittneyc4d79b3d53

Warner Bros. TV

Q-Tip:

Suggested by gilliana4c168903f

Warner Bros. TV

Diamond shoes:

Ross: What am I gonna do? This is a complete nightmare.

Chandler: I know. This must be so hard. "Oh, no. Two women love me. They're both gorgeous, my wallet's too small for my 50s, and my diamond shoes are too tight."

Suggested by katm45798db18

Warner Bros. TV

Whip:

Suggested by jordynlar94

Warner Bros. TV

Jokes:

Suggested by sharvaris

Warner Bros. TV

Tanning gone wrong:

Monica: Oh dear god.

Chandler: Hold on, there's something different.

Ross: I went to that tanning place your wife suggested.

Chandler: Was that place the sun?

Suggested by mandelam

Warner Bros. TV

Sneeze:

Ross: I was in the shower, and as I was...cleansing myself, I, uh...well, I felt something.

Chandler: Was it like a sneeze only better?

Suggested by emilyw4581385ba

Warner Bros. TV

Little Bo Peep:

Chandler: I'm sorry we, we don't have your sheep.

Suggested by christopherw4bd6e6b53

Warner Bros. TV

9 a.m.:

Suggested by piajeraldinem

Warner Bros. TV

Big deal:

Rachel: And, hey, just so you know, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!

Chandler: I knew it!

Suggested by M.J. Cormier, Facebook

Warner Bros. TV

Boogie:

Suggested by megm4e36c9e7e

Warner Bros. TV

Thoughts:

Suggested by Refaat Alarer, Facebook

Warner Bros. TV

The chick and duck:

Chandler: There we go, little fella.

Kathy: What about the duck?

Chandler: Well, the duck can swim.

Suggested by Marc Heimann, Facebook

Warner Bros. TV

Police:

Suggested by Katie Ricci, Facebook

Warner Bros. TV

Janice:

Janice: "What a small world."

Chandler: "And yet I never run into Beyoncé"

Suggested by meagaladon

Warner Bros. TV

Jamestown colony:

Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Rach, we've got to settle.

Rachel: Settle what?

Chandler: The Jamestown colony of Virginia.

Ross: The game, Rachel. The game. You owe us money for the game.

Suggested by Laura Hudson, Facebook

Warner Bros. TV

That's "Miss" to you:

Suggested by Annaka Isenberger, Facebook

Warner Bros. TV

And, finally:

Suggested by Spenser Isaacs, Facebook

INSIDER
After my husband and I stopped wearing our wedding rings, we tried polyamory. 3 years later, we're happily nonmonogamous.
My husband and I were monogamous before we got married. When we stopped wearing our wedding rings, we decided to try polyamory.
Evening Standard
Ivan Toney left ‘disgusted’ by Gareth Southgate substitution decision in Slovakia win
Southgate waited until the 94th minute to bring Toney on another difficult night for the England manager
The Telegraph
Woman arrested after prison officer filmed allegedly having sex with inmate
A woman has been arrested after footage was widely circulated that appeared to show a prison officer having sex with an inmate.
The Telegraph
‘I’m not going to buy electric again – it’s the worst car I’ve ever had’
Ray Bestwick bought an electric car last May in the hope of hassle-free motoring.
Bloomberg
Russian goods find their way to Singapore as war fatigue sets in
Heavily discounted Russian-made goods, from hair products to chocolate, are finding their way onto Singapore’s virtual supermarket shelves.
Hello!
Amal Clooney, 46, is glowing in flirty floral dress as she walks hand in hand with George Clooney
George Clooney and his wife, Amal, were spotted in St Tropez this past week, and Amal made the most of the glorious sunshine with a flirty floral mini dress. See the pictures here...
Hello!
Elizabeth Hurley, 59, is a goddess in tiny string bikini
Elizabeth Hurley showed off her incredible physique in a yellow string bikini as she posed for Instagram – and the Gossip Girl actress, 59, looked better than ever. See photos.
SETHLUI.COM
Guan Huat Yong Tau Foo: 44-year-old YTF stall with super gao laksa broth & over 40 ingredients
The post Guan Huat Yong Tau Foo: 44-year-old YTF stall with super gao laksa broth & over 40 ingredients appeared first on SETHLUI.com.
INSIDER
Israel has never been impressed with its version of the $1 billion Patriot air defense system. Now it could offload up to 8 to Ukraine.
Ukraine has long coveted more of the $1 billion US-manufactured Patriot air defense systems.
BuzzFeed
This Guy Shared The One Thing His Date Said That Made Him Stand Up And Leave Immediately, And Now He's Wondering If He Was Too Harsh
"We started having the 'our past relationships' talk, and she told me about her high school and college boyfriends. Then, she admitted that she cheated on her college boyfriend..."
The Daily Beast
Obama Rode to Biden’s Rescue—but Intervention Could Yet Come
On Friday afternoon, in the aftermath of President Joe Biden’s disastrous debate against Donald Trump, private murmurs and public calls for an “intervention” ricocheted through Democratic circles. But then a hold-up emerged.Some 17 hours after Biden botched his big debate moment, his former boss came to the rescue.For many high-ranking Democrats, a single tweet from former President Barack Obama appeared to nix any chance of the 44th president meeting with the 46th and urging him to drop out.Rea
INSIDER
Biden's family is telling him to stay in the race even as calls to exit grow
The meeting was pre-planned but was a timely opportunity for Biden to discuss the future of his campaign with the most influential people in his life.
INSIDER
Kamala Harris' camp is mad that Newsom and Whitmer are being floated as Biden replacements over the VP
Harris is seen by many as a natural potential successor to Biden. But an array of Democrats believe her middling approval ratings are a liability.
SETHLUI.COM
Mr Egg Fried Rice: Tasty fried rice with massive portions, hidden among HDBs in Bishan
The post Mr Egg Fried Rice: Tasty fried rice with massive portions, hidden among HDBs in Bishan appeared first on SETHLUI.com.
Bloomberg
Hamas-backing Anwar defends BlackRock in face of Israel protests
Malaysian Prime Minister Anwar Ibrahim is resisting pressure from his own critics to nix a multi-billion dollar Malaysian airports privatisation deal involving BlackRock over its ties to Israel.
The Telegraph
‘Trillion dollar trainwreck’: US super stealth fighter is eating the next generation
All of a sudden, the US Air Force is considering cancelling a multibillion-dollar effort to develop a new stealth fighter. Citing the high cost of the so-called “Next-Generation Air Dominance” programme and the competing demands of other projects, USAF leaders have warned they may have no choice but to cancel NGAD – and find other ways of winning control of the air in future wars.
The Independent
A pair of siblings were stabbed and the sister’s dying words were that the killer was a man from Detroit. Thirty-four years later, he’s been arrested.
Pamela Sumpter, was raped and stabbed, and her brother John Sumpter was stabbed to death, at their Georgia home on July 15, 1990
CNN
The reason why NATO and Europe found Biden’s debate performance so alarming
Joe Biden’s performance at the CNN presidential debate against Donald Trump has raised concerns with US allies - particularly within NATO and Europe.
INSIDER
It took a woman 3 years and cost her $200K to kick a tenant out of her LA home. She says she cried when she saw the bloody mess he left.
Alison Weinsweig told BI about her three-year ordeal with a tenant, which ended in over $200,000 in losses, a legal battle, and blood-stained floors.
The Independent
Bodycam footage released after 13-year-old boy shot and killed by police in New York
Body camera footage released by the department shows officers tackling the boy to the ground before firing a gun

We asked members of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us their favorite Chandler Bing one-liners from Friends. Here are some of the best lines from our sarcastic king.

That fifth dentist:

Bagpipes:

Caterpillar:

Code:

Nerves:

That noise:

Death by drill:

Career before men:

Leaf blower:

Condoms:

Ikea:

Ten pounds:

Oh, crap:

Clowns:

Rabies:

Pivot:

Knock-knock jokes:

Guy:

Too big:

Blimps:

The Gellers:

Parachute:

Marriage:

Advice:

Q-Tip:

Diamond shoes:

Whip:

Jokes:

Tanning gone wrong:

Sneeze:

Little Bo Peep:

9 a.m.:

Big deal:

Boogie:

Thoughts:

The chick and duck:

Police:

Janice:

Jamestown colony:

That's "Miss" to you:

And, finally:

Latest stories