Allison Holker 'Would Embrace' Dating Again: 'I Still Want to Live a Big Life' (Exclusive)

The dancer tells PEOPLE she wants her kids "to see that they can still learn to trust and love again"

Allison Holker is not closing herself off.

The dancer and mother of three, 36, has had a difficult few years, but 2024 has brought her a "resurgence" as she tries "to find out who I am now," she tells PEOPLE.

"Not even being a mother, not a career mom, not the trauma, not the once wife, but who am I? Just as me and my character — what I believe in, what I stand for," Holker says at the birthFUND brunch fundraiser in Los Angeles on June 13. "It's been a journey for me just to kind of relearn me in this new phase of my life. And I've changed a lot."

She says she's "grown a lot, obviously" while dealing with the grief of the death of her husband, Stephen "tWitch" Boss, in December 2022 by suicide.

"I'm just trying to embrace [her growth] and see what my next steps are with [my] career, with [my] choices, and with dating," Holker admits.

Related: Allison Holker Says Stephen 'tWitch' Boss' 'Extroverted Personality' Wasn't 'Natural' to Him and Would 'Drain His Energy'

"I think I am a person that I always say the quote, 'Romanticize your life.' And I think, though I've gone through so much, I'm still a believer in living a big life. There's not been one moment that I haven't thought to myself, 'I still want to live a big life,'" she continues. "I still would want to have love, would still want to travel the world. I still want to see and experience new things with new people, new energy, my friends, my family, a loved one — a potential — and my kids."

The So You Think You Can Dance judge adds that she wants her kids — daughters Weslie, 16, Zaia, 4, and son Maddox, 8 — to see her experience a full life.

"I want them to see that they can still learn to trust and love again. It doesn't have to go away," she says, adding of the potential of dating again: "I would embrace it."

Related: Allison Holker Says She's 'So Grateful' Her Kids Can See Dad Stephen 'tWitch' Boss in Their New Book (Exclusive)

Holker's kids — two of which she shares with Boss, Maddox and Zaia — remain her number one priority as she continues navigating life after the family's devastating loss. Facilitating conversations with her kids is a big part of that.

“I want my kids to feel so safe and comfortable with me that no matter what they're feeling, no matter how scary it is, how big of a topic it is, how little of a topic it is, nothing is off the table, and I just want them feeling like they can get it off of their chest," she told PEOPLE in May.

“We just try to make sure that we have open dialogue. And I think that really stems from me starting those kinds of conversations and, honestly, me just being vulnerable around them and exposing a little bit more of what I'm feeling as an adult and not being scared to show that sometimes I am low, or sometimes I don't have an answer for something, or sometimes I need help."

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Letting her kids see her cry has been another step she's taken in the journey.

“Besides [watching] a Disney movie, my kids hadn't really seen me cry that often in life. And so I just realized it was really important to allow them to see those moments,” Holker added. “Crying for joy, crying for pain, crying for sadness, all the different types of emotions that come with those things, allowing them to be a part of it with me.”

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Read the original article on People.