Fathers’ Day tribute: 6 tales of fathers in Singapore
Mr M, 47, was a former senior sales and marketing manager at an electronics MNC for nine years before he was retrenched in 2009. Married with a wife and twin teenage sons, he tried his hand at being a financial advisor for a year before deciding to become a taxi driver. He has been running his taxi service since 2011. He survived a heart-attack in late 2012 and now has four stents in his heart. His philosophy on life is now to live well, stay healthy and to share his real-life experiences. In his latest post on Taxi Talk, he shares his encounters with six fathers and their life stories.
Having been blessed with a new lease of life after my near-death heart attack experience last November, my perspective of life has changed dramatically. I have become mellower, relaxed, perhaps wiser. I have also found purpose in life and I want to do more than ever before.
We all know that our life on earth may be short, so we should therefore make a concerted effort to live a great life, a purposeful life, and leave a legacy for our children to remember, love and cherish.
For a father, the journey starts when his child or children are born. He will seek to provide shelter, food, love, care and concern. It’s really a life long journey! However, the father has long been the one who is least understood as he has great ego along with the responsibility to support the family.
In this 9th installment of Taxi Talk, I would like to pay tribute to an important person in our lives – Father (In conjunction with Fathers’ Day celebration). I would like to share my encounters with six fathers and their life changing stories with you.
1. Jack Tan
Jack Tan, 50, a professional welder in the aerospace industry for more than 20 years, has two boys, a 20-year-old serving as national serviceman in the army and a 16-year-old doing his "N" level exam.
He shared with me that he has always put his children’s interest before himself. He wants to ensure that his children do not become "himself of the past" as he did not complete his secondary education. Back then, at a young age he had decided to pursue his dream to be an accomplished drummer and he was not interested in studying at all. He was simply crazy about drums.
He heaved a sigh of regret as he spoke. Being a drummer did not give him a good future and working in the industry had its pitfalls, including many late nights, bad companions, and a lot of drinking. He finally decided to put his life in perspective and took up classes to become a professional welder, starting his career at shipyards before moving on to aircraft.
He put his heart, mind and soul towards his career, which eventually spanned more than 20 years He got promoted and received numerous company awards for his exemplary quality work and leadership.
He put his faith in the Japanese religion Soka and helped out with the organisation's orchestra. He become adept in many musical instruments, including the saxophone, and, in most recent years, the Akai player, a synthesizer that can mimic sounds of a real saxophone, violin, guitar, harmonica, piano, organ, etc.
Music talent also surfaced in his elder son, who has a passion for Chinese violin - erhu. Both father and son have since performed for his aerospace company, hospitals, aged homes, community events and even schools.
Recently, due to business challenges in the aerospace industry, he has to take up extended leave. Being someone that is pro-active, he decided he needed to do something more… so he successfully applied for a busking license to supplement his income.
Now, he busks at various places in Singapore over weekends and holidays. He can be seen regularly at Tampines MRT. He has since gained a lot of traction and many passers-by have become his fans. He plays renditions of late Teresa Teng Li Jun's “Moon Representing My Heart” and “Sweet Love”, and sentimental love and evergreen songs. He even allows people to make a dedication to their loved ones, of course, with a token donation. He is also open for private functions and event bookings, too.
You need to be there to witness his musical talent and swoon over his music.
He has also spared no effort to groom his other son, who had partial golden hair on his head at birth. This son is his “golden boy”. The father has showered his love by investing in the latest state of the art SLR cameras, lens and hard disk storage as the boy has a passion for photography and video. Recently, this "golden son” won two amateur photography awards in his age group in school.
He is indeed a proud father and a musically-talented one.
2. Jerry
Jerry, 56, is married with a 26-year-old daughter.
He shared that when he was a young fire officer in his twenties he married his love – a staff nurse who worked the ambulance at that time. Their work relationship had bloomed into a romantic one, and he has since been married for thirty years.
As he shared his life story, his eyes turned red as he revealed that he has been out of work for almost three years now. He was head of department for an oil and gas company and was due to be promoted, but somehow a foreign talent lady came and was assigned the new job. He was passed over for the promotion. He felt depressed and decided to quit for good, without another job waiting.
He felt dejected for many months as he could not get another similar job of the same high pay.
He has since recovered from his depression and now makes his income through stock investments from the comfort of his home. He confessed that he is adept in shares investment and makes decent income for his risk-taking, as he does his homework by reading news and company reports, attending annual general meetings and analysing movements of shares.
He invested heavily in his daughter’s education, giving her the best tutors for her weakest subjects until she finally topped her class. She completed her degree with flying colours. He beamed with delight as he talked about her academic achievements. Her daughter now works in a hospital following her mum’s footsteps.
Prior to the start of his daughter’s tertiary education, he moved house so that she would not have to take up excessive time to get to university. His dream is to see his daughter get married.
4. Bill
Bill, 60, is married with two sons who are now pursuing their degree courses – accounting and business.
He recalled the difficult period when he was retrenched from his high-paying job in the oil exploration industry in the region 20 years ago.
His kids were young then when he was laid off. It hit him hard, as he was the eldest in his family he had to fulfill his financial obligation to the household needs of seven members there and his own family too. He worked hard day and night doing odd-jobs then, saving and scrimping. He was thrifty and could only afford simple meals.
Though he may look frail with his small built and deep wrinkles, he sports a healthy lifestyle, rarely falls ill and continues to ride an old motorcycle to work daily. In everything he does, he always ensures that his children’s education needs are well taken care of through tuition and financial support. He has always been there for the children in their education and study, as every concerned parent should be. He believes that we always must work hard to support our family and meet their needs so that every generation becomes better than the one before.
Despite his age, he joined the health industry 10 years ago as a health attendant working in the Accident & Emergency (A&E) ward in a hospital. His eagerness to adapt and learn new skills has caught many people by surprise. Now, he can speak fluently in Hokkien, Teochew and Cantonese accent to senior citizens who seek medical treatment. His knowledge on healthcare matters and medical terms has increased in depth over the years, and he can easily tell the kind of medication for general illness like flu, cough and fever.
His patience and unwavering total patient care has delighted many patients. He is well liked by his peers and colleagues. Despite having lower wages than his wife, who is a nurse, he has found passion and compassion in the healthcare sector, and sees his work in the context of giving back to society, he confided. He has also received many accolades for his quality customer care, unselfish acts and assistance to patients.
His wish for his two children is for them to grow up, get married and to contribute to society at large, thereby fulfilling every father’s responsibility to his family and carry the family name.
Photo taken during the recent networking session
4. Gilbert Goh
Gilbert Goh, 52, is well known as Mr. Protest by virtue of his organisation, Transitioning.org, which organised the “No to 6.9 Million population white paper” protests on 16th Feb and 1st May this year.
His work at Transitioning is known for beingsupport for the unemployed and under-employed.
Recently, he organised a network session, attended by more than 50 people, some of whom including me, had benefited from his outreach networking programs. It was an informal gathering of fellow employer, prospective employee and other fellow self-employed, employed people to share their work-life experiences with like-minded people.
Gilbert shared that he once was unemployed for 18 months and now lives to tell the challenges of being retrenched. He can empathise with fellow citizens who have gone through the same path. He revealed that he had almost gone into bankruptcy at least twice due to his financial constraints and commitments.
His past retrenchment and unemployment took a toll on his marriage, and eventually he was divorced from his wife, who now resides in Australia with his daughter. However, he misses his daughter very much. He recalled his daughter in her growing up years and how all of a sudden there was this emptiness in his life.
Once a doting father to his daughter, he now channels his energies towards making life better for fellow Singaporeans. His unwavering work at Transitioning is worth a mention. He has been counseling hundreds, if not thousands of fellow Singaporeans who have been retrenched, displaced, re-structured, under-employed in the many industries.
His Fathers’ Day wish is to receive a call from his daughter to say “Hi”. It’s just a simple request and hopefully his work at Transitioning will go a long way for him and his daughter to reconcile.
5. Mr Chua
Mr Chua, 67, is married with three children – 2 sons and a daughter – and twin grandsons.
Last week, his eldest son finally got married. It was one of the proudest moments in his life.
He revealed that he had toiled for many years to bring up his children, two of which eventually gained degrees. Seeing their achievement, their contribution to society, he felt a sense of relief and consolation. He felt his sacrifice, love and patience has been worth it.
In all his adulthood, he has been working as a chef for at least 40 years
Currently, he works as a chef in a local hotel. His hospitality, talent and patience has become his trademark. He is well liked and respected by his fellow colleagues. He can dish out many Chinese cuisines and western food.
Last week, he received a mention during his eldest’s son church wedding. The presiding pastor related how the doting father became a match maker. The daughter in-law, who had been working at the restaurant, bid the chef farewell on her last day of work. Mr Chua came forward to greet her and requested her to stay behind, and told her that he can be her match maker if she gave him a chance to introduce his son, who was in his late thirties, still a bachelor, but may be a good match for her. Indeed, this Mr Chua had his dream fulfilled as his eldest son eventually married the adorable, beautiful lady.
As Mr Chua continues working as a chef, he hopes to fulfill his other wish to get his other younger son hitched. He also looks forward to his 50th wedding anniversary in the next few years and hopes his daughter-in-law can have many children.
6. Pastor Sam
Pastor Sam works at one of Bedok’s churches. He has been a faithful and compassionate pastor for more than 10 years. He has four young adorable daughters. He is one of the few people I respect most for his love, sacrifice, care and concern for his family.
He is one that is always there for pastoral fellowship and church members. He is virtually a “24 by 7” on-call pastor.
Pastor Sam started his career as a teacher and eventually found a calling to do ministry work. Soon he become a parish worker then took up courses to upgrade to become a pastor serving in many different ministries. He suffered a deep pay-cut in his work for church ministries against what he could have been paid as a teacher. His sacrifice is worth mention. He is well liked, respected and loved by his congregation.
I remembered vividly that when I was warded in the high dependency ward at SGH for observation after my heart attack, he and his wife came to visit me immediately after the church service ended and had quietly packed the “take away” of the communion set – comprising the bread and wine for me, printed copy of the hymns that Sunday. I was very touched by his actions, unselfish love, care and concern for an ordinary church member.
Now, Pastor Sam is taking one step further in his church ministries by advancing his Biblical Theology through a Doctorate program in Australia. His family has been very understanding and supportive in his pursuit of his dream. Soon, the family is going to be reunited in Australia in mid-June, and they shall stay there till completion of his doctorate in three years time.
His love for his family has not gone unnoticed. Despite his heavy-duty commitments he tries to spend as much quality time with his beloved wife and daughters. When his second youngest daughter needed an operation, he and his wife were always there to shower her with love. He never gave up. He always shares many fond life stories.
In our eyes, his sacrifices in the church ministry go a long way to ensure faith in the religion benefit more people in the long term. His unselfish love, care and concern for the congregation and the work-life balance of his family is worthy for us to take notice and to follow.
Finally, I would like to take this opportunity to thank my family’s support in every part of my life through thick and thin.
My warmest best wishes for the above fathers’ and to all fathers’ in the world:
“A Happy Fathers’ Day!”
I am proud of you for the love, care, concern and faith for your family.
Remember to give a big hug to your dad, your father, your grandfather, your husband and tell him how much you love and cherish him.
God bless all fathers!
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